edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Warning Policy: Any story with explicit sex or other potentially problematic content (mostly death, torture, or various forms of psychological, familial, or societal dysfunction) will be marked as such; otherwise all stories are equivalent to PG-13 at most -- i.e., there may be some darkness, violence, or mentions of sex, but it will either be off-page or non-explicit. I do not use any content rating system unless I am posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I think movie-style ratings are counterintuitive when applied to written fiction, and because I have never found ratings particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I am already warning for.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else, read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(currently includes American Gods, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America, Code Geass, The Darkangel, Death Note, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Labyrinth, Lucifer, Merlin, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Saiyuki, Seaward, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


And just for my own reference: my Cotton Candy Bingo cards, for Round One and Round Two.
edenfalling: stained-glass butterfly superimposed over a yellow sunburst, in a purple frame (butterfly)
13 pepper seeds underground

6 tiny pepper sprouts

I had so much fun growing peppers last summer that I decided to try again this year! But partly because carrying seedlings home is a pain (not to mention getting to Agway in the first place is a pain), I decided to take the hard route and grow them from seeds, which I could conveniently purchase at my grocery store.

I planted thirteen seeds on Friday, April 11th, and left them on the table beside my kitchen windows. As of tonight — Wednesday, April 23rd — six of them have sprouted! The sprouts are tiny, but still. Sprouts! I am very excited.

an onion in a pot

still an onion in a pot

I also happened to have an onion that I had purchased with the intent of, you know, chopping it up for pot roast or chicken soup or whatever, but which had plans of its own and unexpectedly sprouted. So I stuck it in a pot — also on April 11th — and it’s still sitting out on my deck, placidly growing despite the best efforts of the local squirrels to discover what strange and fascinating nut might be buried next to the bulb. *shakes fist at squirrels*

So yeah. Dilettante tabletop gardening project year two is GO. :-)
edenfalling: colored line-art drawing of a three-scoop ice cream sundae in a silver dish (ice cream sundae)
Tonight's fortune cookies has a very serious question to ask the universe:

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
edenfalling: a flaming chalice in a circle, gold on a white background (gold chalice)
1. Apparently I purchased a seat at a champagne brunch from the Service Auction last fall. I suspect I was thinking something along the lines of "I like waffles, I like champagne, and I really ought to try being more social." But since I am not naturally a social person, I had completely forgotten about that purchase and made no arrangements to either get the day off work or find transportation to Trumansburg. Whoops!

But it turns out that a couple other attendees have a scheduling conflict on the designated day -- not to mention that Sunday has also been earmarked for a congregational meeting after the Sunday service, which I will miss because I'll be at work, as usual -- so the hosts are trying to reschedule. I've replied to their email to say which of their offered dates works best for me, and to request transportation home from the brunch. You see, I can get there around 12:30pm, via TCAT bus and a two mile walk (which is no hardship on a nice May afternoon), but I would not be able to get back to Ithaca until roughly 6:00pm, unless I felt like walking over nine miles, much of it alongside a two-lane highway, which frankly does not sound appealing.


2. I have sent an email to the woman who is offering an adult RE evening class this May, about owning your religious past. That sort of thing interests me a lot, and I think I could also bring a fairly unique perspective as a born-and-raised UU (rather than the more standard narrative of leaving one's childhood religion and coming to UUism as an adult), but the classes will run 7-8:30pm on Wednesday evenings. I couldn't possibly get there until 7:15pm, considering I almost always close the smoke shop on Wednesdays. So I have asked if that would be workable, or if it would be too disruptive for me to show up 15-20 minutes late every session.


3. I participated in an online congregational survey a while back, and the results have since been processed and sent out to the congregation at large. There is widespread dissatisfaction with our current minister's sermons, which comes as a surprise to me, because I hardly ever attend actual Sunday services so I have not experienced much of his preaching. I am not sure how much weight the survey results had, versus whatever soul-searching he did on his recent sabbatical, but the upshot is that he announced last month that he will be retiring as of this coming December.

So we are now having a lot of meetings, both to decide where we want to go as a congregation, and to start setting up the ministerial search process and find an interim minister for the next year or two.

For various and sundry reasons, Sunday morning services have never been a very big part of my spiritual life -- sermons are not what makes or breaks my commitment to and involvement in a religious community -- but they are obviously important to a lot of people and since I want a healthy, happy, and growing community, they are sort of important to me by proxy.

But what I really care about is the religious education program, and also -- not personally, anymore, but on principal -- that there be some kind of outreach program to Cornell and Ithaca College. Which there has not been for several years. I am not the right person to organize such a thing myself, and I know it. I do not have the patience or spoons to deal with college bureaucracy, I do not have the people skills to contact students and set up meetings and activities, and I do not have anything like a reliable schedule or transportation. But I would be willing to help out in some small way if somebody else got such a program started.


I should mention that to someone. I really should.


4. We are currently in the middle of our annual pledge drive, and I'm in something of a fix. I want to pledge, if only because I represent a fixed cost to the church by virtue of being a member. (There are dues to the UUA and so on.) But my job situation is so uncertain right now, and I just blew my financial cushion for the year on my new laptop, and I don't feel I am in a position to give much money to any cause.

Then again, giving to charity makes me feel better, and it's not like I can't scrimp a bit in other places. And I do want to at least cover what I'm costing the church, so...

*makes weighing gestures*

I guess I'll decide this weekend and turn my pledge card in on Sunday.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
Three things, in no particular order:

1. On Friday I verbally renewed my apartment lease for another year. I am fairly sure my lease doesn't actually run out until the end of May (or maybe the end of June? hang on, let me go look it up. yeah, June) but Landlord Dude said he'll stop by next Friday so we can sign a new lease. Which I think he might actually do this year, instead of lazily letting the verbal agreement stand unrecorded, since my rent is going up by $15 a month. And I want that in writing, particularly so I have hard copy proof of exactly when the new rate kicks in.


2. The smoke shop is now closing at 5pm on Sundays. Weekdays and Saturdays we will still be open until 7pm. My guess is that Boss Lady told Mr. Speakerphone she wanted to close early on Easter and he said we should just close at 5pm every Sunday thereafter, but that's just an educated guess on my part.

This means I'm going to lose an hour and a half of wages every week -- not two hours, because the shortening of my Sunday closing shift also means I lose my lunch break. Oh well, so it goes. I should probably trim my lunch breaks a little in general. I'm required to take 30 minutes, but in practice I often take 40 because we have been so slow lately, and also I tend to use my lunch breaks as a siesta break instead and it takes me a while to fall asleep.


3. I've been working on an Aradia-and-Sollux ficlet for the headache Cotton Candy Bingo prompt for the past week or so. It is very slow going -- the sort of slow going where 200 words a day is really awesome progress. *headdesk* I think it's hit the point where it should wind down to some sort of conclusion, but unfortunately I still have no idea what said conclusion should be. And it's not like this is in any way a long or complicated story! It's 1,850 words right now. Wow. Very words. Much impressive.

On that note, I still have three unassigned prompts from my first Cotton Candy Bingo round: unexpected love, news, and the WILD CARD square. I am toying with writing an Edmund's first winter in Narnia ficlet for the first, but I am blank like a blank sheet of paper on the other two.

Does anyone have any suggestions?
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I think the weirdest thing so far about having a crockpot is that I am not cooking on a day-by-day basis. Instead, I am cooking roughly a week ahead of myself. I mean, I made chicken soup on Sunday night, and I only ate the second helping of it tonight, nearly a week later. Tomorrow I will steam some broccoli and eat it with the first of two chicken thighs I baked tonight -- said thighs are the part of a multi-pack that I didn't use in the soup last weekend. And I am also in the process of making another batch of pot roast, which I will freeze Sunday morning and probably won't eat until next weekend at the earliest, because I have a lot of soup.

I mean, I've always tried to have at least a week and a half of food around, but in the past it's generally been frozen tv dinners and stuff, or a bunch of cheese and pepperoni and crackers. And right now, I still have the cheese and pepperoni and crackers -- to say nothing of some emergency ramen noodles and Campbell's soup cans and whatnot -- but I also have real, homecooked food. For hardly any effort!

It is mind-boggling how many fewer spoons cooking uses up if it's not standing directly between me and that night's dinner. It's also much easier to cook when I don't have to face standing over a hot stove -- or at least only have to sacrifice about ten minutes for chopping and steaming broccoli, because that hardly counts and I'm not trying to time it against anything other than reheating chicken in a microwave.


Household chores are not easy for me, in many ways. I mean, washing dishes is dead easy. It's even meditative. But pretty much everything else I manage on a very piecemeal basis, or only because I flat-out refuse to live in a world where I don't water my plants once a week, put out the recycling on designated days, and change my sheets every other week (or every three weeks, if I'm having a rough time and need to conserve spoons for other stuff). So I rarely vacuum, I dust extremely sporadically, I clean my bathroom only when I can't avoid noticing the weird black gunk around the drains, I forget to take out my trash until the kitchen starts to smell funny or I've filled up one of my smaller wastebaskets with tissues, I ignore a lot of my mail that isn't immediately relevant bills, etc.

I'm not proud of this. I would like to be more organized and mindful of basic living standards. But that type of task requires a lot of spoons for me to start. Momentum carries me through fairly well once I've begun, but there is a shit-ton of inertia to overcome before I hit a groove.

Anyway, crockpots do a LOT to reduce the inertia barrier to cooking, and I am duly grateful.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
Tonight's fortune cookie:

Q. What is H2O?
A. Caring, 2 parts Hug, and 1 part Open-mind.



Well all right then, if you say so.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
Oh right, it's that time of year again. :-) Here are the results from 2013 and 2012, for comparison purposes.

I currently have 142 stories posted on AO3, which is a bit more than twice as many as last year, and not quite four times as many as in 2012. Also, I have gotten further on posting some of my back-catalog, as it were, so while the collection is still wildly overweighted in favor of my recent Homestuck fics, it's a bit less utterly misleading than it used to be. On the other hand, I have been backdating all those old stories, so their count of hits, kudos, and comments remains relatively low. (In some cases, the stories in question would have had low response levels no matter when I posted them. In other cases, well, let's just say some of my works are popular on other sites and leave it at that. *wry*)

With that said, here are my top ten stories on AO3, by hit count:

1. What Isn't Broken (Can Still Be Fixed) - 8,099 [Naruto, remix]
2. Trollstuck - 4,089 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
3. I Must Increase My Bust - 3,028 [Homestuck]
4. Weregild - 2,566 [Inception/Anita Blake, chaptered, WIP]
5. A History of Handcrafts (Because a Sweater Equals Love) - 2,407 [Star Trek: AOS, remix]
6. Four by Four - 2,241 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
7. Sparkly Rainbow Blood - 2,224 [Homestuck]
8. An Intricate Courtship Process - 2,212 [Homestuck]
9. Ass O'Clock in Dusseldorf - 2,121 [Homestuck]
10. Dreamers of the Day - 2,004 [Inception]

This is exactly the same 10 fics as last year. They have simply rearranged themselves a bit -- "Four by Four" and "A History of Handcrafts" have moved up while "Sparkly Rainbow Blood," "An Intricate Courtship Process," and "Ass O'Clock in Dusseldorf" have moved down. The top four and "Dreamers of the Day" have stayed put.

It never ceases to fascinate me that "What Isn't Broken" is so disproportionately popular compared to the rest of my work on AO3. It has nearly twice as many hits as the next-most-read story, and also twice as many bookmarks (99) as my next-most-bookmarked story. (That would be Giant Robot Mayhem Doesn't Happen in a Day, at 50, but that fic has only been posted for a month so things may change by next year.) And while "What Isn't Broken" is not quite winning the kudos race, I'm sure that's only because the kudos button wasn't implemented until after Remix Redux 2010.

On that note, here are the top ten by number of kudos )

I'm not going to do lists by number of bookmarks or comment threads, but I will say for the record that the bookmark list would be pretty similar to the two lists I did write out in full. The comment list, on the other hand, would pull up some very different stories. That is entirely because of what I call the Yuletide effect -- Yuletide being a fest with a culture of active commenting instead of (or in addition to) merely leaving kudos, perhaps as a holdover from its pre-kudos-button years, or perhaps because tiny fandoms of the heart inspire greater enthusiasm and a wish to communicate with others who also love your particular tiny and obscure sources of joy.
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Summary: Old Narnia went into hiding, but there are more places to hide than the wilderness. The hardest secrets to find are the ones in plain sight. (1,125 words)

[ETA: the revised and slightly extended final version is now up on AO3!]

We Hold On )


Edith and Lir live in Telmarine Beaversdam. I'm not sure what Lir's profession is. I'm inclined to say goldsmith or baker, but I have no firm commitment to either craft. I am, however, fairly sure that Bethany grows up to become the tired teacher whose students Aslan may or may not turn into pigs in Prince Caspian. :-)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I just made myself some scrambled eggs on toast and topped one of the slices with a little fresh cilantro, to see what on earth it tastes like to me.

Conclusion: I do not taste soap or mud, which I think are the two most common negative reactions, but I can't say I particularly like the flavor. It's kind of like... well, there's a hint of dandelion and/or plantain -- sort of mixed-field-greens -- but mostly I think it tastes like non-bitter parsley. And I don't much care for parsley either, so there you go. I have tried it; it's not my thing.

I have removed the cilantro and am now eating the eggs on toast. Because eggs on toast. Mmmmm. :-)

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