edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction


General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Warning Policy: Any story with explicit sex or other potentially problematic content (mostly death, torture, or various forms of psychological, familial, or societal dysfunction) will be marked as such; otherwise all stories are equivalent to PG-13 at most -- i.e., there may be some darkness, violence, or mentions of sex, but it will either be off-page or non-explicit. I do not use any content rating system unless I am posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I think movie-style ratings are counterintuitive when applied to written fiction, and because I have never found ratings particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I am already warning for.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else, read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(currently includes American Gods, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America, Code Geass, The Darkangel, Death Note, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Labyrinth, Lucifer, Merlin, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Saiyuki, Seaward, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them)



These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction


And just for my own reference: my Cotton Candy Bingo cards, for Round One and Round Two.
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Summary: Old Narnia went into hiding. But there are more places to hide than the wilderness. The hardest secrets to find are the ones in plain sight. (1,100 words)

We Hold On )


Edith and Lir live in Telmarine Beaversdam. I'm not sure what Lir's profession is. I'm inclined to say goldsmith or baker, but I have no firm commitment to either craft. I am, however, fairly sure that Bethany grows up to become the tired teacher whose students Aslan may or may not turn into pigs in Prince Caspian. :-)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I just made myself some scrambled eggs on toast and topped one of the slices with a little fresh cilantro, to see what on earth it tastes like to me.

Conclusion: I do not taste soap or mud, which I think are the two most common negative reactions, but I can't say I particularly like the flavor. It's kind of like... well, there's a hint of dandelion and/or plantain -- sort of mixed-field-greens -- but mostly I think it tastes like non-bitter parsley. And I don't much care for parsley either, so there you go. I have tried it; it's not my thing.

I have removed the cilantro and am now eating the eggs on toast. Because eggs on toast. Mmmmm. :-)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I finally got around to doing my taxes today. Yes, I know, I am a terrible procrastinator. They're not even very complicated. I can't use the 1040EZ, but I can easily get away with the 1040A because while I own a few stocks and whatnot, the amount they pay me in dividends and capital gains is piddling and its only practical effect is that I have to use the Capital Gains worksheet to calculate my taxes instead of the more standard tax table approach. Which is five minutes of easy arithmetic, so whatever. And I always take standard deductions, I am way too poor to get caught by the alternative minimum tax, and yet I earn just a little too much to qualify for the earned income credit, so it's all really very simple.

I do my taxes by hand, with a dinky free souvenir calculator I picked up at a Cornell dining hall twelve years ago. Hey, it works. :-)

The upshot of all this is that the federal government owes me about $920, and the state of New York owes me $15. (NY would owe me $25, but I chipped in some money to a few voluntary charitable causes, because on occasion I like to pretend I am a kind and generous person.) This is nice, since the combined refunds should just about cover the cost of my new laptop and Microsoft Office suite.

I am by and large okay with giving the government an interest-free loan each year, because I know myself and I'm quite sure I'd fritter away the money on stupid things if I had it in my possession all year. This way I can generally make a contribution to my IRA, or, as with this year, use the refund to cover an unexpected large expense. (Last year's refund basically covered my ambulance bill from my bout of norovirus in late 2012. Blegh.)
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Summary: Why does a forger need a totem? (100 words exactly)

On Totems )


This is a little thing I wrote ages ago. I don't remember where I intended to go with it, and obviously it never clicked into any kind of larger plot or character study, but it's a complete (albeit tiny) thought as it stands, so whatever, I'm posting it. :-)
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon against a background of foliage (raccoon)
Summary: Harry doesn't know if he's ticklish. Ginny thinks this is a crime. (700 words)

Note: This story was written for [community profile] cottoncandy_bingo Round One, in response to the prompt: tickle.

[ETA: Now crossposted here on AO3!]

Sense and Sensitivity )


I started this during an evening shift at the smoke shop last week, but broke off after about 200 words and only finished tonight, possibly spurred on by spending an hour or two crossposting some old HP stories to AO3. It feels weird to be writing new HP fic that isn't in direct response to a request from a specific person. But I guess one never really leaves one's first fandom, no matter how distant the relationship may become over the years.

(Apparently I will never get over the whole Ginny-and-Tom thing either. Well, I did spend eleven years elaborating on that topic. I really should not be surprised when it sneaks into unexpected places.)

Moving on!

I have two other Cotton Candy Bingo fills in various stages of incompleteness: headache for Aradia & Sollux (Homestuck) and clouds for Ariadne & Arthur (Inception). That leaves me with three prompts still unassigned: unexpected love, news, and WILD CARD. I continue to have no real idea what to do for them. The past suggestions that have stuck with me most are something involving people relaxing on the Enterprise between missions, and Mary Pevensie in my "As the Morning and the Night" genderswap AU, but I can't make Mary work with unexpected love (which was the suggestion) and "relaxing on the Enterprise" is too broad to catch fire in my mind. (I also want to write something for Irrylath post-The Pearl of the Soul of the World, but I need to reread that book before I commit to anything.)

I dunno. Anyone have any ideas you think I can and should try to write?
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I am, very slowly and fitfully, trying to get most of my old fanfiction crossposted to AO3. I am not sure I want to put everything up there -- there are some works that are more in the nature of random finger-twiddling than something I particularly want to share with the entire world -- but aside from the more fragmentary stuff, it would be nice to have my work available in a more public forum (and one with a less demanding feedback mechanism, aka the kudos button).

But I'm not sure how to organize everything.

An awful lot of my older work is tiny 15-minute ficlets, and those can clog up an archive really damn fast. But I don't know that I want to jam them into story collections either, because those gum up search parameters -- they give back positive results for every random character, ship, and tag attached to them, even if that element appears only glancingly in one component "chapter" out of a dozen. Which is annoying to readers.

I suspect I'm going to end up posting everything individually, with a few things organized into series (because goddamn, I love the AO3 series function), but that won't stop me from fretting in the meantime. *sigh* I am especially unsure about my Narnia fanfiction, since most of those stories are part of a single coherent timeline and thus ought to be part of a series, but I do not want the headache of trying to arrange them in chronological order. Maybe I should just post my timeline as a "fic" and put a link to it in the notes for each fic? That might work...

(This ramble is brought to you by the four old HP fics I crossposted tonight. They all contain Petunia Evans Dursley, though one of them is really a Harry fic that happens to include a peripheral Petunia cameo. Slowly my AO3 stats are becoming less wildly unrepresentative of my actual writing history, though Homestuck is still massively over-weighted in comparison to HP, Naruto, and Narnia, to say nothing of Angel Sanctuary.)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
Things I did today:

1. Saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which makes it the first movie I've seen in theaters since... Rise of the Guardians, I think. (And the only movie I saw not-in-theaters between them was the Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated thingy that kicked off the TV series, because Susan and I were bored one evening during her most recent visit.) I do not watch a lot of movies. I keep thinking, "Oh, that sounds interesting," and then just never doing anything about that vague interest. *sigh*

Anyway, I enjoyed the film very much. Other people have written approximately half a million reviews and reaction posts already so I won't say anything except that yes, the end credits have some seriously awesome design work, and I was very tickled that the second post-credits teaser scene -- the one you have to wait through absolutely everything to see -- maintains continuity with the film. (In other words, the Smithsonian curators rearranged the costume-wearing mannequins because obviously one uniform is missing from the display. *grin*)


2. Bought a couple new large and cheap plastic pots and a bag of potting soil, in preparation for a few weeks from now.

You see, I enjoyed growing peppers so much last summer that I am trying to repeat the trick. Except what I did was buy a packet of bell pepper seeds, of which I have now planted thirteen in dinky makeshift pots and am waiting to see if any of them sprout. The packet instructions advise special seed-growing soil, but I figure if plants can reproduce just fine by having a bird shit their seeds on random patches of ground, I should probably be able to get at least two or three viable sprouts with just ordinary houseplant dirt.

I may post pictures once there is anything to see.


3. Bought a new schefflera plant, because "Buy a new houseplant" is still one of my chief go-to reactions under prolonged stress. "Buy some scented candles" and "Buy cool wrapping paper" were also options in the past, but I forbade them to myself years ago on the quite reasonable grounds that I already had more candles and wrapping paper than I could use in a decade -- and so far I've been right about that -- so houseplants are the sole remaining impulse purchase option. I like houseplants, okay? They are pretty and green and make my air fresher and my apartment feel lived-in.

But now I need to buy a couple cheap hanging pots for some of my numerous spider plants, so as to move them to my kitchen windows and free space for my new schefflera and any other plants I acquire before my work situation resolves itself one way or another.

I have such first world problems, it's ridiculous.


4. Talked to Cat on the phone. I am really glad we've been reconnecting this year. I missed her, and while we still feel a bit like strangers in some ways -- we've been unaware of large portions of each other's lives -- we still have the knack of conversation, at least when the topics don't get too personal.

Which reminds me that I should call Susan tomorrow, actually, since it's been a couple weeks since we've talked. Yes. I will do that.

It's nice to keep in touch with friends. :-)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
The smoke shop is getting sadly bare of stock -- well, excluding magazines and cigarettes, that is, and a few types of cigarette rolling supplies. This is because Mr. Speakerphone has decided to put a moratorium on new orders until we know exactly what the renovation/remodeling will entail and when the construction work will start. At the moment those details are still up in the air -- all we know is the footprint of the elevator-and-stairwell combo -- so we're just watching our shelves empty out and trying to explain to customers that no, we're sorry, we don't have Product X and we won't for the foreseeable future.

It is also obvious that our lack of stock is driving away business. Closing shifts have always been slower than opening shifts (our business is weighted toward the morning newspaper-and-coffee office worker crowd), but lately I have been breezing through long nonfiction books during my evenings, because I can go ten to fifteen minutes at a stretch between customers and there are no maintenance tasks to keep me otherwise occupied. We finish them all by 3pm at the latest, since we have almost no deliveries to process and fewer customers during the day, too.

We still don't know where (or even if) our new bathroom will be built. We don't know if the back wall of the store will be moved forward to compensate for the lost back office/stockroom space. We don't know what's going to happen to the ATM (especially since it's in the area that will be lost to the stairwell-and-elevator). We don't know what will happen to the built-in giant industrial (and ancient) air conditioner and its ductwork.

We're not even sure our lease will be renewed. I have only rumors to go on -- no solid evidence, since the building owners are doing their level best to NOT communicate with us, and I guess Mr. Speakerphone is trying not to say anything until he knows for sure what's going to happen -- but I have heard that the building owners want to charge Mr. Speakerphone the same rent for a drastically reduced space, to which he is naturally objecting strenuously. The building owners' reported justification for that alleged demand is that we have apparently been paying under market rate. If that is true, I am fairly sure their idea of market rate would drive most prospective tenants out of business within a year.

Sweetheart, Melodrama, Boss Lady and I are collectively so done with this bullshit. I mean, I am still showing up and doing my best to do my job -- by which I mean take care of customers and keep the store clean-ish and functioning -- but it is very hard to care about, say, cleaning the bathroom when it's going to be destroyed within a few weeks to a month. We all feel rather like we're playing music on the Titanic as it sinks. (I am not sure of Serenity's feelings. She only works Fridays and Saturdays, which have lately been my two days off, so I don't talk to her much. And she doesn't have the years of built-up frustration that the rest of us share, in any case.)

I wish to god somebody would give us some clear and definite answers about the smoke shop's fate. At this point I don't even care what the answers are. I just want an end to the uncertainty.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over the ocean (Default)
I had a doctor's appointment Wednesday morning -- just a general physical checkup thingy, and also brief gynecological exam. Turns out that I don't need Pap tests because hey, I've never had sex!

TMI? probably TMI )

Anyway, I am basically healthy. Consensus between me and Doctor S is that I need a new and more ergonomic computer chair, which should solve most of my lower back pain issues -- they are entirely posture/tension related, since they're the sort that easily drain away after a few minutes of lying down on a hard, flat surface. I also personally would like to lose ten-ish pounds, which I'd suspected I should work on for a while but I don't tend to weigh myself so whatever. That shouldn't be too hard. I just need to quit my occasional midnight snack habit, drink more water, and probably do some situps and/or take random walks a couple times a week. That usually works, over six to eight months. (Then I gain the weight back over two or three years, because hello, I am lazy. *sigh*)

April 2014

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