edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon, looking left (raccoon)
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Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction
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FANFICTION:

General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, Daredevil (MCU), The Dark Is Rising, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Avengers (MCU), Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Captain America (MCU), Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, the Darkangel trilogy, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Guardians of the Galaxy (MCU), Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)

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ORIGINAL FICTION:

These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction

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My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One; Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two; Daredevil Bingo; Genprompt Bingo
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon, looking left (raccoon)
[personal profile] gramarye1971 said: For the 'It was a Decoy / Feint / Distraction' prompt: Sailor Moon, with one of the senshi remembering that Usagi has that Disguise Pen and actually using it for something?

Note: This is about the genesis of a feint rather than its execution, but eh, details. It's set in the Death Buster arc at an indeterminate point between Kaolinite and Eudial's deaths. I'm not entirely sure what version of canon has the most space for this detour, so call that aspect indeterminate as well. *shrug* (1,500 words)

Camouflage the Question )

I have no idea why that fic took so long to write -- it was like my brain just jammed up every time I opened the file -- but it's done, it's cute, and I can move on to other projects. :)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
About five days ago, some asshole used my legal name email address to sign up for a Spanish-language internet dating site. Since then, I have been getting at least 200 emails a day from that site, to the general effect of 'Legal-First-Name-Random-String-of-Numbers has received a new message' or 'Random-Name-Who-Is-Probably-a-Bot has done something in relation to your post/profile/message/what-the-hell-ever'. (I would be more specific except I do not speak Spanish and don't entirely trust Google's auto-translate function.)

I mean, Gmail knows they are spam and duly files them as such, but still!

I can't even unsubscribe from the damn thing, since that would require knowing what password the asshole created when they used my email to sign up. *headdesk*

The site, for those who may be curious, is Plentyoffish Media Inc. #142-757 West Hastings St., PMB 670, Vancouver, BC V6C1A1. Their web address is pof.com.mx. (Are they Canadian or Mexican? Who knows!)

I feel like I should write them an annoyed letter or something.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
1. Donated to the OTW's fundraising drive.

2. Arranged a phone call with Susan for Tuesday evening.

3. TOOK A NAP.

4. Transplanted a replacement squash when one of my initially transplanted seedlings died. (The replacement is not terribly happy either, alas.)

5. Called Vicky to catch up now that I'm not drowning in 50-60 hour work weeks and she is past a work glut of her own.

6. Attended church to hear Rev. Weis (our ministerial candidate) preach the first of two sermons she will be giving before we vote on whether to call her as our settled minister. I think the service went well, and (pending getting to talk with her in a small-group setting, when she meets with the Stewardship team on Thursday), I have high hopes that the whole thing will work out. *crosses fingers*

more items under the cut )

15. TOOK A NAP. And this after I slept eleven hours Sunday to Monday, yikes. I think I am catching up on three months of sleep debt, though I'm sure the start of allergy season is not helping.

16. Cleaned my bathroom, including scrubbing the shower ceiling for mildew which is a smelly pain in the neck but needs to be done a couple times a year.

17. Finished the rough draft of my last prompt meme ficlet. Now I am going back to add some emotional through-lines and sensory details so it's not just faceless mannequins exchanging toneless dialogue in front of a blank white screen. I have no idea why this ficlet has been such a pain to write. It's not like the premise was complicated, but getting words onto the page has been like pulling teeth. *hands* Some stories are like that, and I will never know why.

18. Attempted a bit of exercise, now that I am not in a constant state of overwork and sleep deprivation. I should probably try to work out some kind of routine for that, and also something to DO while I exercise because otherwise I break off out of boredom and never get anywhere.

Perhaps that is a use for podcasts...?
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
withering white flower on a small green pepper plant



The Lazarus pepper continues to chug along. I don't think the current flower is going to produce fruit, but the plant itself seems to be gearing up to sprout some more leaves and flowers, so hey, we'll see what happens over the summer. :)


eighteen pepper seedlings, growing in peat cylinders in a black plastic container



The new pepper seedlings all continue to do well. (...I'm going to have to find pots for all of them, aren't I. Oh, bother.)


four squash photos under the cut )


Meanwhile, the squash are doing... not so well. Of the four I transplanted last week, only one (Meeny) seems to be thriving. One (Miny 1) already died and has been replaced by one of the previously un-transplanted seedlings. The replacement is now unhappy in turn. Another of the initial transplants (Eeny) is in the process of dying; I expect it to be withered by morning. And the fourth (Mo), like the replacement transplant, is... let's go with 'not happy' and leave it there, yeah?

The moral of this story is that I should A) not plant squash at all until mid-April and B) plant them directly in their final homes -- probably two or three seeds to a container, and then thin to whichever seedling seems healthiest after three weeks or so.

We learn by doing, I suppose, and I have plenty of squash seeds left. I will plant a couple of them in Eeny's container later this week, once I know whether I'll be replacing Miny 2 and Mo as well. (I have no seedlings left to transplant; the remaining three have all died.)


[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
succulent in a glass bowl, top view . succulent in a glass bowl, side view



My new succulent, in its glass bowl with its purple fake-rock base. I would kind of really like to take the plant OUT, or at least give it some actual soil, because this set-up worries me.

If anyone has any care tips for succulents (and/or a name for this particular species!), I am all ears, because my track record with keeping succulents happy is DIRE.

(I mean. Except for the jade plant. But jade plants are kind of unkillable, so I don't think that's a good measuring stick.)


[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
1. Survived tax season! \o/ My last day at Not the IRS was Monday, which I worked 9am-9pm. I finished the season with five returns still 'on hold,' only one of which was somebody I actually expected to come in to finish up. (The others either weren't required to file or made clear that they didn't intend to file through us for various reasons.) I think that's a pretty good record, all in all.

2. Photographed my plants and posted the pictures online.

3. Took my kitchen compost to the communal bin, and the communal bin to the curb for pickup. (It has not, in fact, been picked up. I am not wheeling the blasted thing back across the yard while it is still full and heavy, so it can just sit there until the compost company get their act together.)

4. Watered my houseplants.

5. Called my parents with some information that is relevant to planning their visit in a couple weeks.

6. Prepped for a graduate student housing fair thingy on Friday, which Miss Cactus and I are responsible for since Mom Boss and Aunt Boss (tentative nicknames) are both on vacation this week.

7. Went to the end-of-season dinner my Not the IRS office throws for ourselves every year, which was a lot of fun. We commandeer two tables at a local restaurant, order a bunch of appetizers to share around, and drink several pitchers of classic margaritas. :)

I also accidentally acquired a succulent, which I will attempt not to kill. See, it's tradition to buy a small nice gift for the manager and the receptionists, I doubled up as a tax preparer and a receptionist again this year, and one of the other receptionists didn't make it to the dinner... so I wound up with her gift (the plant) as well as my own (a pre-paid debit card). The plant itself is housed in a glass bowl with purple fake-amethysts for its 'ground,' and since amethyst is my birthstone, I am choosing to consider this a Sign of Favor from the universe at large. *wry*

8. Not really a 'thing done,' but I have ants in my kitchen again. *sigh* I have been squishing them when they get up onto the counters, but the ones on the wall and the baseboard I am mostly leaving alone for the poison in the little plastic traps (I always have four to eight ant traps on my counters and walls, because this happens every year) to kill slowly. I will have to buy some new traps on my next grocery run, though, because the poison does eventually get used up.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
This morning, I woke up to a series of ff.net comments on Tides (a Naruto canon-divergence AU fic I wrote back in 2005), which I cannot read as anything other than performance art.

I suspect this is even how the commenter intended them, although what they thought they were performing was threatening and dismissive anger with the aim of producing hurt, fear, and a sense of inferiority, rather than the utter hilarity I actually experienced, because baby's first flame attempts are impossible to take seriously. *wry*

Content warning for misogyny, ableism, homophobia, and death threats/suicide baiting, I guess.

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nine anonymous comments on 'Tides' )

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...

I find these hilarious both for their general misreading of the manga (apparently the intended message is that Naruto is god and can do no wrong, while both Sakura and Sasuke -- you know, the people Naruto loves and would die to save -- are horrible and need to die in agony (thus making Naruto's choice of friends... wrong? impossible! pay no attention to the contradiction behind the curtain!)), and for the amount of effort expended in performative outrage when every browser comes equipped with a perfectly functional back-button. The attitudes embodied in the commenter's choice of insults are more sad than anything else, but also contribute to my inability to take anything this person says seriously.

This gift of hilarity has also reminded me that I should probably go stick a note in front of all my Naruto fics saying that they're based on manga canon only (for the very simple reason that I have never watched the anime). I mean, people like today's commenter never read author's notes anyway -- they are looking for things at which they can perform frothing outrage, not nuance -- but it would give me an additional thing to laugh about later on when they act like anime-only events should be a trump card when discussing a manga-based story. *wry* And for people who aren't performative outrage artists, such a note would be a quick and easy way to set proper expectations going in.

...I'll get to that some other day, when I am feeling up to a couple hours of internet housekeeping.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
It's that time of year again. :)

Here are the results from 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012, for comparison purposes.

I currently have 479 stories posted on AO3, which is 44 more than last year. The 'new' fics are a combination of backdated crossposts and things that were genuinely written within the past year.

Anyway, here are my top ten stories on AO3, by hit count:

1. What Isn't Broken (Can Still Be Fixed) - 20,463 [Naruto, remix]
2. Trollstuck: Make Her Pay - 5,540 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
3. I Must Increase My Bust - 5,104 [Homestuck]
4. With a Vengeance - 4,766 [Naruto]
5. More Sins than Condemnation - 4,522 [Naruto]
6. Four by Four - 4,482 [Homestuck, chaptered, WIP]
7. Of Stone and of Sky - 4,257 [Homestuck, Ladystuck]
8. Dreamers of the Day - 4,140 [Inception]
9. Problems and Solutions (All Things in Time) - 4,116 [Chronicles of Narnia/Stargate: SG-1, remix]
10. The Way of the Apartment Manager - 3,485 [Naruto, chaptered]

This is largely the same as last year, barring a few internal rearrangements and "The Way of the Apartment Manager" kicking "Weregild" off the list. I am pleased that my most popular story on other sites is finally picking up steam over here, too, despite its age and backdating. :)

"What Isn't Broken" continues to absolutely crush everything else I've ever written, at least on this particular site. I am still unsure why, but hey, if people like it I'm not going to complain. *wry* It also drags its two companion ficlets ("With a Vengeance" and "More Sins than Condemnation") up the rankings... at least in terms of hit count. Their kudos count is more variable.

Anyway, moving on!

Here are my top ten stories by number of kudos )

The bookmark list continues to share a lot of commonalities with the hit and kudos lists (particularly if you go by the top twenty rather than just the top ten), and the comment list continues to be noticeably different from those three, largely thanks to Yuletide and the Narnia Fic Exchange. :)
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I did not make a gardening post last week, but eh, whatever, moving on.


white flower on a small green pepper plant



The Lazarus pepper is blooming again. As before, I do not expect anything to come of this, but let us all enjoy the pretty flower while it lasts. :) (The other two buds have both shriveled at this point.)


eighteen pepper seedlings, growing in peat cylinders in a black plastic container



The pepper seedlings continue to do well, and I think they will be ready to transplant in another two or three weeks.


five squash photos under the cut )


On Sunday night, I punched holes in the four plastic storage tubs I bought a couple weeks ago, and I transplanted the four squash seedlings that seemed to be flourishing the most. (Three of the original eleven sprouts had shriveled and died by that point, and two others had each lost one of their cotyledons, which was a little sad but also helpful in reducing my transplant choices to a more manageable spread.) I tried to be as gentle as possible with their roots, but only time will tell how well I managed.

(FYI, the transplanted seedlings are hereby named Eeny, Meeny, Miny, and Mo, because it amuses me and because I can do that if I want to. ;D )

Next weekend I might try to buy a trowel (possibly also a hoe or a garden rake?) and plant the other seedlings in the yard, assuming they're still alive by then. I mean, I am going to buy at least a trowel anyway, since I need that to plant my narcissus bulbs, but anything beyond that is kind of dependent on circumstance. *wry*


[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

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Elizabeth Culmer

April 2017

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