edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Today's entry in the 'weird things I have acquired from tenants' department: a Blue Apron box.

The tenant left for the summer and did not cancel their subscription quite fast enough, so whoops, one extra box arrived. Fortunately this particular tenant is generally on top of things, and upon receiving the package notification email, promptly called us to say they weren't in town and we should just make the food ourselves.

Mom Boss and Aunt Boss were not interested, and I wasn't sure the food would keep long enough for Miss Cactus to choose any on Thursday, so I just carried the box home myself. (The whole mile and a half. Exercise is good for you! *flops*)

The recipes are as follows: crispy catfish & spicy vegetable curry (with charred lime); seared steaks & salsa verde (with fingerling potatoes, asparagus, & radishes); and Persian-style chicken & crispy rice (with zucchini, currants, & lemon yogurt).

They all claim to take only 15 minutes of prep time. Considering one of them involves mashing garlic into a paste, and the other two involve making lemon or lime zest from scratch (wtf), I call bullshit. I mean, I am game to try these things! They sound tasty! But I am pretty sure they will take about an hour of prep time each, plus the listed cooking times, plus slop time for cleaning dishes (I don't have the biggest sink, nor do I have endless counter space), so... I think two hours total per meal. Blargh.

Anyway, I have put the things that need refrigeration in my fridge, while the others are sitting in the box on a table, and I will probably attempt either the catfish or the steak tomorrow evening.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
I am jammed up on the projects I need to finish -- if you think this is deeply frustrating, you would be correct -- and would like to unstick myself via some short prompt!fic.

So. Mini-ficlet prompt meme time!

Here is my Genprompt Bingo card.

For those who prefer lists to graphics, the open squares are Northern / Southern Lights, Midnight, Extraordinary, Pipes and Beer, Fundamental Particles, Butcher / Baker / Candlestick-maker: Tradesman, Introspection, Light-Hearted, Holiday Cottages, Heart on Sleeve, WILD CARD, Suicide, Another year older: Birthdays, Monsoon, Three Wishes, The Age of Reason, Steadfast, Trust, Second Person Narration, Space AU, Takeout, Apocalypse.

If you would like to claim any of the open squares, please leave a comment with one to three characters, a prompt from the card, and a scenario, and I will write you a ficlet of at least 100 words.

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Obligatory small print:

1. I reserve the right to veto any fandoms I don't know well enough to write, and ask you to please try again.

2. Crossover prompts are fine. On the vanishingly unlikely chance anyone wants to read a snippet from any of my original worlds and stories, that kind of prompt is also fine.

3. In this challenge, WILD CARD means to grab any prompt from the complete Genprompt Bingo prompt list. I reserve the right to veto any such wild card substitutions and ask you to please try again.

4. Requests do not have to be gen! Just be aware that I'm not great at romance, so if you request shipfic, it will come out fairly low-key and may end up as ambiguous gen anyway.

-----

Also, special offer! If you have scenarios I could used to fill the last two squares on my Cotton Candy Bingo card -- the prompt words in question are 'soft' and 'free' -- I will write you a ficlet of at least 500 words. (I have ficlets I'm trying to write for both of those, but they have been stuck for a while, so I'm game to take suggestions that might end up flowing better.)

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Fill List:

1. Whose Allegiance Is Ruled by Expedience - 1,600 words. How about the tradesman for an OC view on some part of the Naruto story line? Written 5/22/17 for [personal profile] the_rck. [Tumblr crosspost; AO3 crosspost]

2. I Am the One Who Lives with the Ocean - 700 words. Calliope/Roxy, having a cuddlepile on Earth C after all the fireworks have died down. Basically, what we can do now that we don't have to do anything. Written 6/4/17 for [personal profile] mme_hardy. [Tumblr version; AO3 version]
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
You know what? I'm going to post the terrible poetry after all.

All spelling, capitalization, and punctuation faithfully reproduced (though you are missing half the effect of the purple ink and my weird handwriting). I have inserted line breaks between the poems for clarity, though the original text marks them only by a single blank line.

cut for length and embarrassment )

---------------------------------------------

Now I kind of want to find twelve- or thirteen-year-old me, give her a hug, promise her she'll make it at least to age thirty-five without humanity blowing up the planet, and gently suggest that if she wants to keep on writing poetry, she might find the constraints of strict poetic forms a useful challenge. *wry*
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Apropos of nothing in particular! A couple days ago I started manually forwarding all the spam messages I was getting from that dating site (Plenty of Fish) to their PR address (pr@pof.com), since my attempt to 'reset' the non-existent account's non-existent password didn't work, that was the only electronic contact method I could find after a good half hour of searching, and I couldn't tell which of the various phone numbers and physical addresses I found were actually real and up to date.

(For the record? Not having your contact information clearly displayed on your home page, including a customer service email address to deal with complaints not covered by your unfeasibly minimal preset forms, is deeply skeevy.)

Anyway, the first round of forwarding won me nearly twelve hours without spam. Then I got another burst, forwarded them all (with a copypasted "I don't have an account with your service. Stop sending me email" message appended), and have now been spam-free (...from that source) for nearly twenty-four hours.

I have doubtless jinxed myself just now, of course, but I trust if I make myself enough of a nuisance the POF staff will either fix the problem or just give up and block me, which should hopefully render me invisible to the spam-sending part of their email program. *crosses fingers*

(...I have also been marking every single one of their messages as a phishing attempt, which is untrue and probably wrong of me, but that is the only other weapon in my arsenal at the moment; of course I'm going to use it.)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
About five days ago, some asshole used my legal name email address to sign up for a Spanish-language internet dating site. Since then, I have been getting at least 100 emails a day from that site, to the general effect of 'Legal-First-Name-Random-String-of-Numbers has received a new message' or 'Random-Name-Who-Is-Probably-a-Bot has done something in relation to your post/profile/message/what-the-hell-ever'. (I would be more specific except I do not speak Spanish and don't entirely trust Google's auto-translate function.)

I mean, Gmail knows they are spam and duly files them as such, but still!

I can't even unsubscribe from the damn thing, since that would require knowing what password the asshole created when they used my email to sign up. *headdesk*

The site, for those who may be curious, is Plentyoffish Media Inc. #142-757 West Hastings St., PMB 670, Vancouver, BC V6C1A1. Their web address is pof.com.mx. (Are they Canadian or Mexican? Who knows!)

I feel like I should write them an annoyed letter or something.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
This morning, I woke up to a series of ff.net comments on Tides (a Naruto canon-divergence AU fic I wrote back in 2005), which I cannot read as anything other than performance art.

I suspect this is even how the commenter intended them, although what they thought they were performing was threatening and dismissive anger with the aim of producing hurt, fear, and a sense of inferiority, rather than the utter hilarity I actually experienced, because baby's first flame attempts are impossible to take seriously. *wry*

Content warning for misogyny, ableism, homophobia, and death threats/suicide baiting, I guess.

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nine anonymous comments on 'Tides' )

---------------

...

I find these hilarious both for their general misreading of the manga (apparently the intended message is that Naruto is god and can do no wrong, while both Sakura and Sasuke -- you know, the people Naruto loves and would die to save -- are horrible and need to die in agony (thus making Naruto's choice of friends... wrong? impossible! pay no attention to the contradiction behind the curtain!)), and for the amount of effort expended in performative outrage when every browser comes equipped with a perfectly functional back-button. The attitudes embodied in the commenter's choice of insults are more sad than anything else, but also contribute to my inability to take anything this person says seriously.

This gift of hilarity has also reminded me that I should probably go stick a note in front of all my Naruto fics saying that they're based on manga canon only (for the very simple reason that I have never watched the anime). I mean, people like today's commenter never read author's notes anyway -- they are looking for things at which they can perform frothing outrage, not nuance -- but it would give me an additional thing to laugh about later on when they act like anime-only events should be a trump card when discussing a manga-based story. *wry* And for people who aren't performative outrage artists, such a note would be a quick and easy way to set proper expectations going in.

...I'll get to that some other day, when I am feeling up to a couple hours of internet housekeeping.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
So I was working on an alternate fill to my remaining mini-ficlet prompt meme request this morning at work, accidentally clicked the wrong link when I wanted to check a thing (the computer I was using at Not the IRS has an annoyingly unresponsive mouse, and often either fails to register a click or registers a right click as a left click or vice versa), and lost everything I'd written.

*headdesk*

However, I think that, upon reflection, I have found a way to fit the new concept into my existing fill attempt in a way that will make everything come out all right.

But I will work on that tomorrow morning rather than tonight, because today I have worked a 12.5 hour shift and have also just finished drinking a Black Russian and I am therefore both punch-drunk and tipsy and should probably not attempt delicate word surgery. *wry*

(You do not want to know how many times I had to backspace and retype things in the preceding paragraph. Or this paragraph, to be honest.)

But tomorrow I get to sleep in until the wonderfully decadent hour of 8am! So I should hopefully be compos mentis enough to finally get the dratted ficlet finished.

*resolve face*

*resolve face x20, actually*

And now, bed. :)
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
1. Photographed my kitchen garden. Did not post photos, because reasons. At this point, I think I will just make a combined two-week post on Monday the 17th.

(Spoiler: a couple of the squash seedlings just shriveled up and died. This is nice since it saves me the trouble of figuring out what to do with them. Now I'm just debating whether my plastic storage tubs are larger enough to support two seedlings per tub, or whether I will have to buy a trowel and a hoe and plant the others in the yard.

...I should buy a trowel and some other tools anyway, since I will have to plant the narcissus bulbs regardless of what I do with the squash. *makes note on Sunday to-do list*)

2. Put away my remaining clean laundry.

3. Worked thirteen hours straight on Monday the 10th, ugh. *wilts*

4. Foolishly agreed to go in to Not the IRS at 8am instead of 9am Thursday morning (district management is getting pushy about extended hours), but because the #13 doesn't run a 7am outbound route, I had to walk a mile into town to catch a #30 bus instead, which meant I had to either get up at 5:30am or forego eating breakfast at home. I chose the latter option, and wound up buying myself a small yogurt, a bottle of lemon-flavored tea, and a donut (plus five more donuts for the office at large, because I'm nice like that and also you get a discount if you buy a half-dozen at a time). That was not the healthiest of choices but at this point in tax season I officially Do Not Care. It has calories and/or caffeine? GIMME.

5. Bought groceries after work. In the process, I acquired two small sample bottles of Ocean Spray 'mocktails' that were included around regular bottles of cranberry-pomegranate juice. I just wanted the juice, which was on a buy-one-get-one sale, but I suppose I will try these 'mocktails' if only for curiosity's sake.

6. Stewardship committee meeting.

7. Failed to make much progress on my remaining request ficlet, because brain-fry, argh.

8. Decided to try outlining/brainstorming my FandomTrumpsHate fic to see if switching projects would grant me a few minutes of clarity. Result: well... I made a bullet-point list of stuff my bidder and I talked about in emails, so I have all that organized in one place? But then I ran out of spoons, so.

...

I think I should go to bed.
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
I worked 13 hours straight at Not the IRS on Monday, and only finished one of four returns. (One turned out to be a consult in disguise; one was missing documentation; one was just a MESS. The last few weeks are when the complicated returns all come flooding in.)

Please can tax season be over already?

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In other news, I poked a little more at my fourth prompt ficlet this morning, trying to get the scenario to resolve in a single scene since that will both save me from having to write an in-depth fight scene and a couple thousand words of emotional resolution later on, and will let me end on an uncomplicated happy note and dammit, I want A) fluff and B) a finished ficlet I can post.

I think a few more tweaks should knock the draft into something generally functional.

*resolve face*
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
1. Watered my houseplants. I also saved two of my peppers from a bout of dehydration, via emergency watering and temporary toothpick stakes to lean on. I keep forgetting how fast the peat pellets dry out. :/

2. Failed to floss my teeth Monday night because I was so tired from working 8:30am-9pm at Not the IRS (plus travel time). This is noteworthy since I think that is the ONLY time I have failed to floss my teeth since I started my "if you don't floss, your mouth and teeth will feel gross and be totally icky" campaign, which, considering how many years I had previously spent trying and failing to make flossing a daily habit -- I tried guilt and shame, I tried logic, I tried financial panic (cavities are stupidly expensive to fix), I tried flossing at work on my lunch breaks, etc. -- really says something about the power of revulsion as a motivating factor.

The problem, of course, is that revulsion is horrifically easy to misuse. But I think in this particular case, it helps a lot more than it hurts.

3. Imported my Livejournal to Dreamwdith, which, um, ran into some problems.

4. Opened a mini-ficlet prompt meme. (I am still taking ficlet requests, if anyone is interested!)

5. Bought groceries.

6. Attended the Stewardship committee meeting on Thursday night. I now have a list of people to call in the second round of "please pledge money, we can't run a church by wishing," and I will call them... Sunday afternoon, probably. *adds to to-do list*

7. Boiled a dozen eggs.

8. Wrote three prompt ficlets. I am still working on a fourth, but I couldn't finish it before work got busy and I hit the exhausted and brain-fried portion of my day. (Another 8:30am-9pm shift today, joy. By the time I leave the rental office tomorrow, I will have worked 60 hours this week. And next week I get to do it all again! What fun! (Kill me now.))

9. Wrote twelve thank-you notes to church members who have already pledged for the 2017-18 fiscal year. I got six of them into the mail for Saturday morning pickup, and will drop the other six off on my way to work in the morning. The remaining six envelopes are stamped and return-addressed, and I will write the cards tomorrow.

10. Changed the scented wax in my wax melter.

11. Backed up my computer onto my external hard drive, which I really ought to do more frequently. I wonder if there's a way to harness revulsion for that task as well...?

And now to bed. Mmmm, bed.

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Elizabeth Culmer

June 2017

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