Yeah. It's just so hard to wrap your mind around it. There's something that makes you shy away from really connecting.

We did things like that too, whole talks while pretending it hadn't happened. it felt kind of ... disloyal? maybe, but it hurts and that makes it harder to function otherwise. so it was a choice between grief and guilt. I don't think there's any good way to deal with it.

*hug hug hug*