the deep moans round with many voices

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Master List of Elizabeth Culmer's Fiction
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FANFICTION:

General Disclaimer: These stories are based on characters and situations created and owned by other people and corporations. I make no money from this borrowing of intellectual property, and intend no copyright or trademark infringement.

Organization: This list is organized primarily by fandom; within each fandom, it's arranged first by associated story cycles and then by writing date. Word counts and writing dates are approximations.

Content/Warning Policy: 1) I am not consistent about warnings! I use them when I remember, for a few relatively broad categories of potentially problematic content, but if something is off-page, non-explicit, or generally backgrounded, I probably won't think to note it in the metadata. Read at your own risk! 2) The things I try to warn for are explicit sex, rape, murder, torture, cannibalism, incest, depression/suicide, familial dysfunction, and occasionally also societal dysfunction (aka dystopia). Sometimes I just slap a general content warning on all my fic for a given fandom and don't label each individual fic. I also don't generally warn for violence, unless the violence in a fic is dramatically out-of-step with the violence in its source canon. 3) I don't use any content rating system unless I'm posting to a site or community that requires or encourages ratings, because I find movie-style ratings counter-intuitive when applied to written fiction, and not particularly useful for anything other than denoting the presence of explicit sex, which I already note in the metadata.

Quality Rating System: I've marked my favorite stories with asterisks, on a scale of 1 to 4. The more asterisks, the more I like the story. This doesn't necessarily mean that stories without asterisks are bad, just that I don't like them as much. Also, I am not claiming to be an arbiter of taste; you may love stories I dislike, and vice versa. I am just providing a heads-up about the ones that I think are best written and/or most interesting.

Where To Read: What I post on my journal tends to be the equivalent of a beta draft. If I have cross-posted a story literally anywhere else (except Tumblr; fic content there is just a mirror of fic content here), read the version that isn't on my journal. Versions on AO3 are definitive. If there is no AO3 version, read the ff.net version. If there is no ff.net version, read the FictionAlley version (only applicable for HP fic). Failing that, read the journal version, because that's the only one there is.

Harry Potter Fanfiction

Naruto Fanfiction

Angel Sanctuary Fanfiction

Chronicles of Narnia Fanfiction

Homestuck Fanfiction

MCU fanfic (assorted)

Minor Fandom Fanfiction
(currently includes BtVS/A:tS, The Dark Is Rising, the Darkangel trilogy, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, FF7: Mercverse AU, Inception, and Star Trek: AOS)

Miscellaneous Fanfiction
(Currently includes: American Gods, An Ash-Blonde Witch, Arthurian Mythology, Batman, the Bible, the Black Jewels series, the Bourne trilogy, Charlotte's Web, Code Geass, Death Note, Discworld, Doctor Who, Girl Genius, The Girl with the Silver Eyes, Glee, Gormenghast, Hamilton, Hexwood, The Homeward Bounders, Howl's Moving Castle, Labyrinth, Lord of the Rings, Lucifer (comics), Mad Max: Fury Road, Merlin, the Oz books, Ranma 1/2, Rise of the Guardians, Sailor Moon, Saiyuki, Seaward, Shakespeare, Star Wars, Tam Lin (Pamela Dean), White Collar, Wolf Hall, X-Men, and Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Crossover Fanfiction
(I do not cross-list crossovers and fusions under their component fandoms; this is the only place to find them. Currently includes: the Anita Blake series, ASoIaF, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Black Jewels series, BtVS, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chronicles of Narnia, the Darkangel trilogy, The Dark Is Rising, Discworld, Doctor Who, Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Ender's Game, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hikaru no Go, Homestuck, Inception, the Indiana Jones movies, Leverage, Lucifer (comics), MCU (various), Merlin, Naruto, the Oz books, Sandman, Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek: AOS, Vorkosigan Saga, Welcome to Night Vale, and a couple other things that only appear in memes rather than actual fic.)

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ORIGINAL FICTION:

These stories are all mine! *grin* I use the same warning policy and quality rating system as for my fanfiction.

All Original Fiction

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My various bingo cards: Cotton Candy Bingo, Round One (blackout!); Cotton Candy Bingo, Round Two (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 12 (blackout!); Genprompt Bingo, Round 15; Ladies Bingo; Daredevil Bingo; Domestic AU Prompt List

1. I have been recruited to run for a 1-year term on my congregation's board of trustees. This is kind of... like, on the one hand, I am an adult and I've been involved in church stuff (religious education, hospitality teams, stewardship committee, recycling sale, setup/cleanup for various events, showing up to meetings whenever possible, etc.) for over 15 years now; this is not really surprising. And on the other hand, I'm just sitting here going "...help?" because what the hell do I know about being in charge of anything???

Impostor Syndrome is insidious and annoying.

Also, I need to write a little one-paragraph bio for the annual meeting voting slate summary. Ugh. That's going to be as awkward as writing resumes and cover letters.

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2. In gardening news, I planted my carrot seeds last night, so hopefully they'll be sprouted and ready to transplant in a couple weeks. I need to buy more potting soil, though, since I've decided that they're going in the big plastic tubs I used for my squash two years ago. They're deep enough that this should work out, particularly if I harvest the carrots before they get long and tough/woody.

I'm going to plant the tomato and Brussels sprout seeds this weekend, I think.

I also planted new pepper seeds in the six little peat cylinders whose first round of seeds either failed to sprout or failed to shed their seed coats. (I rescued one such trapped sprout, but didn't get to the other two in time on account of illness and general fatigue. So it goes.)

I probably ought to go do some ground prep and start organizing the raspberries this afternoon, but I am still extremely tired and I may just take a nap instead. *sigh*

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3. I had a dentist appointment this morning wherein I got three new fillings. My bank account is not terribly happy with me. And I have another appointment in July for the fourth (and hopefully final!) round of cavity repairs. I probably could have scheduled it for June, but I figured I'd just shove the whole thing off to after my vacation so I didn't have to dredge up dates while standing at the front desk without my calendar.

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And now, yeah, I am going to take a nap.

Today's work achievements:

1. I finished emailing all the people who still owe us a parental lease guarantee form (which is what we do instead of credit checks or past housing checks, because those are kind of useless for undergrad college students) and we've already received forms from over a dozen people. So that's good.

2. I continued showing New Hire some basics of document scanning and electronic file management. I also took her out to see two of our smaller properties. We would've done the other minor properties as well, but they're in the opposite direction and both she and I were feeling under the weather, so we left that for another day.

3. Stayed on top of email and phone inquiries LIKE A BOSS, despite still feeling under the weather.

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In other news, I took my meds around noon today, on the theory that it was better to sort of ease back into my regular schedule. Tomorrow I will resume taking them with breakfast, and hopefully this will be a one-time lapse.

Stuff done so far today:

1. Watered my houseplants.

2. Boiled some eggs.

3. Read another chapter of SPQR.

4. Volunteered to write thank-you notes for church members who've made pledges in the past week.

5. Withdrew some cash from the bank.

6. Put away some of my air-dried laundry and set up to put away the rest when I get home tonight.

7. Clocked in to Not the IRS shortly before 4pm. I had two scheduled appointments today, and then caught one walk-in client and talked him into one of our additional products, so that's good. (It's a perfectly reasonable product -- they all are, really -- but this particular one I don't even mention to a lot of people because it's amazingly useful to people in certain life situations but completely useless to everyone else. And given that the time to offer it is just after I've finished doing somebody's taxes and therefore have a pretty damn accurate idea of the relevant aspects of their life situations... *shrug*) I am technically scheduled to be here through 9pm, but I don't expect to have much to do in this final hour.

My last day is Sunday the 14th, at which point I get to clean out my little office mailbox and fill out my end-of-year paperwork. I will do my CE over the summer and apply again for next year, but I think I will not lose any sleep over the process. Doing taxes two days a week isn't really enough to maintain emotional investment, though I do like my coworkers and it's always nice to help people wade through a sea of numbers and arcane rules.

I was at Not the IRS this morning (9am-1pm) basically to catch walk-in clients. I got two.

The first I sat down, asked a couple questions, and said, "You need to see Office Uncle. He's the guy who specializes in handling people in your particular tax situation. Let me schedule you an appointment with him." So that was quick and painless.

(The situation, btw, is "graduate student in the US on a non-resident visa". We get a lot of that in Ithaca, because Cornell. Some of them are very simple, but once you add in any complicating detail, things can get very messy very fast. Hence Office Uncle's specialization.)

The second client, on the other hand, was a TRIP. She brought in six W2 forms, and as I typed them up, proceeded to tell me, in a very loud voice, how she'd quit every single one of those jobs because either they made her work with underage alcoholic drug addicts, they refused to let her organize appropriate safety procedures, or both. (I have, shall we say, my own opinions about why she can't hold a job.) She also told me a number of confused stories about her parents and the zero population movement, how she should have been a twin but wasn't because [train roars past], how she got a stress fracture in a large bone but she would say no more because [train roars past], how we were both people and the computer isn't a person and isn't that remarkable, and so on.

I am actually pretty good at navigating that sort of conversation for short periods, particularly in a structured encounter -- which a tax prep interview is -- so we ended with her thinking I'm the bees' knees and very happy to return next year. But wow, that sure was something.

She's going on my list of most notable client encounters, right up there with some of my old smoke shop customers. Still not as out there as the man who told me he'd cured his girlfriend's diabetes by giving her a diet of foods balanced from all seven continents, and wanted a coffee blend similarly balanced, but I don't think anyone's ever going to top that level of disconnect from reality. (Coffee doesn't even grow in Europe! The climate is all wrong! *headdesk*)

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I think I will now take a short nap (just half an hour or so) before moving on through my to-do list for the day. :)