Faith is great; I love how she pretty much pegs Duo and Sasuke in a second. And how direct she is with them. (She’s such a refreshingly straightforward character to read about after spending most of my time dealing with incredibly complex, layered ones like Kakashi and Sasuke)
The entire part where Duo compares Sasuke to Wufei, and then to himself, gah! *wibbles* especially when he talks about Sasuke loosing his family when he still thought his parents hung the moon, lovelovelove.
And I loved Duo's part about having four families. Especially how he just spits out the bare bones of the story and still manages to spin Sasuke’s head with it (which is very funny/ironic/sad when you consider the amount of speeches Sasuke must have had on growing up and getting over his families murder, which, I suspect, he’s spent a good part of his life ignoring).
Fight scene = OMFG, wow. And chidori appearance! My favorite part is the moment of tension and silence here:
the creature reared again, towering, and turned its head just the necessary fraction--
Now.
And the cliffhanger! Not what I was expecting at all. I love how Duo doesn’t leap straight for Sasuke, but waits until they’re all coming down of the adrenaline rush and sitting down sneaky bastard whut. I can’t wait to see how you resolve that.
One last thing. This line:
She had a pretty good lock on darkness, too, and death? That came with the territory.
Read just a little awkwardly, perhaps something like:
She had a pretty good lock on darkness too. And death? That came with the territory.
no subject
Loveitloveitloveit.
Faith is great; I love how she pretty much pegs Duo and Sasuke in a second. And how direct she is with them. (She’s such a refreshingly straightforward character to read about after spending most of my time dealing with incredibly complex, layered ones like Kakashi and Sasuke)
The entire part where Duo compares Sasuke to Wufei, and then to himself, gah! *wibbles* especially when he talks about Sasuke loosing his family when he still thought his parents hung the moon, lovelovelove.
And I loved Duo's part about having four families. Especially how he just spits out the bare bones of the story and still manages to spin Sasuke’s head with it (which is very funny/ironic/sad when you consider the amount of speeches Sasuke must have had on growing up and getting over his families murder, which, I suspect, he’s spent a good part of his life ignoring).
Fight scene = OMFG, wow. And chidori appearance! My favorite part is the moment of tension and silence here:
the creature reared again, towering, and turned its head just the necessary fraction--
Now.
And the cliffhanger! Not what I was expecting at all. I love how Duo doesn’t leap straight for Sasuke, but waits until they’re all coming down of the adrenaline rush and sitting down
sneaky bastard whut. I can’t wait to see how you resolve that.One last thing. This line:
She had a pretty good lock on darkness, too, and death? That came with the territory.
Read just a little awkwardly, perhaps something like:
She had a pretty good lock on darkness too. And death? That came with the territory.
Would work better?
*kills inner grammar nazi*