Elizabeth Culmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
edenfalling) wrote2009-12-19 03:52 pm
edenfalling) wrote2009-12-19 03:52 pm
Entry tags:
a thought from my mom, re: Ardis
Hi Liz,
You know, Dad didn't say this explicitly, but it has to feel intrusive to become intimately involved with someone's house and possessions when you never were that involved before. It's like finding secrets (or not), or prying, to take on the responsibility for someone else's life, uninvited. Shifting the cabin from Ardis (and Grandpa) to us after his death was not at all the same. Anyhow, even the little things like how to dispose of all the perishables in the refrigerator feels officious in a way.
Enough. I'm off to bed for real this time.
Love, Mom
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She's right; that would feel horribly uncomfortable and intrusive. I mean, there are some rooms in Ardis's house that I am quite familiar with, because they were the public rooms -- the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the den, the guest bedroom -- but even in those places, I did not go poking around her closets and boxes and cabinets. And I never went into her bedroom, and hardly ever down to her basement.
And now somebody has to go through all those places and open all her cabinets and boxes and figure out what to do with all her possessions. We are not sure what all Ardis owned, let alone what she wanted done with all of it.
I wonder if this is one source of the idea of haunted houses. Ardis is gone, but her home is not just suddenly open and empty; it is still hers, in a very real, emotional way. I am sure poking through it would feel like a violation, and that is the sort of thing that could lead people to think of vengeful spirits.
You know, Dad didn't say this explicitly, but it has to feel intrusive to become intimately involved with someone's house and possessions when you never were that involved before. It's like finding secrets (or not), or prying, to take on the responsibility for someone else's life, uninvited. Shifting the cabin from Ardis (and Grandpa) to us after his death was not at all the same. Anyhow, even the little things like how to dispose of all the perishables in the refrigerator feels officious in a way.
Enough. I'm off to bed for real this time.
Love, Mom
---------------
She's right; that would feel horribly uncomfortable and intrusive. I mean, there are some rooms in Ardis's house that I am quite familiar with, because they were the public rooms -- the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the den, the guest bedroom -- but even in those places, I did not go poking around her closets and boxes and cabinets. And I never went into her bedroom, and hardly ever down to her basement.
And now somebody has to go through all those places and open all her cabinets and boxes and figure out what to do with all her possessions. We are not sure what all Ardis owned, let alone what she wanted done with all of it.
I wonder if this is one source of the idea of haunted houses. Ardis is gone, but her home is not just suddenly open and empty; it is still hers, in a very real, emotional way. I am sure poking through it would feel like a violation, and that is the sort of thing that could lead people to think of vengeful spirits.
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I would say the unfinished quality of such a life and death definitely stick in my head more.
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