[Fic] "Occam's Razor, Misapplied" -- Chronicles of Narnia

[edenfalling]

A brief excerpt from a volume of Calormene history. (450 words)

[ETA: The AO3 crosspost is now up!]

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Occam's Razor, Misapplied
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In the nine hundred and twelfth year after the gods led our forefathers to this world and this land, Rishti Tisroc ousted his brother Udrilar from his occupation of Tashbaan, cleansed the city of the traitor's perversions, and was ceremonially anointed as the heir of Tash upon the earth. It was a momentous year in the tapestry of the world, resolving at a stroke a decade of civil war and turning the will of the empire outward once again, toward reclaiming our rightful place at the center of all kingdoms.

The rulers of the lesser lands duly recognized the event, sending ambassadors and tribute (though many cloaked their shame over their base position by disclaiming their offerings as mere gifts between equals -- as if any born of mortal blood alone could so much as meet the eyes of one who burns with the living flame of Tash!), all save for the benighted lands of the northern demons and other monsters -- though even those terror-ridden realms felt the shift of the world in the death of an ancient sorceress and the release of her curse of eternal winter. Surely the few human dogs who remained after a century of her iron fist* were inspired by the renewal of hope at the heart of the world, and rose to cast off their chains.

But let us leave discussion of such dangerous and irrelevant lands to its proper place, among the Tarkaans and the Tolkaars, who defend and guide the path of Calormen with the firm but loving hand of a father for his son, and return to the glory of Rishti Tisroc and the order he brought to his suffering people. In the first month after his coronation...

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*It is said by the northern barbarians that the sorceress had extinguished all human life within the limit of her rule, and that the tetrarchs who overthrew her were brought to this world by the lion demon the barbarians falsely worship as a god, but it is known that the movement of humans into our world is a rare and chancy occurrence, always connected to the will of the gods. If Tash or his court had wished to destroy the sorceress, they had no need to resort to seeking outworlders to uphold their will, and to claim that a mere demon could likewise travel the whispering dark between the walls of the universe is blasphemy of the highest degree. Whatever myths the Pevensie line promulgated to disguise their origins, by far the most likely truth is that they were baseborn usurpers cloaking themselves in the power of a demon's Name to discourage any trueborn descendants of the old barbarian kings from reclaiming their lost throne. Such is the upheaval in which demons and their pawns delight.

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Inspired by the 4/29/12 15_minute_ficlets word #125: footnote

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Wow, could that get any more pretentious?

Comments

[lexicology]

I dunno, I kinda like it. :)

It works particularly well in the context of your other Calormene fics, too.

[edenfalling]

Hmm. I may be reacting to something my sister told me years ago -- that I sounded like an excessively dry textbook when writing exposition or first-person internal monologues. It was true and once she pointed it out, I was able to work on not having my POV character narration all sound exactly alike, but now even when I'm writing something that is supposed to sound like a polysyllabic textbook, it feels like I went backwards.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it! (And all my Calormene fics are meant to fit together, so I'm glad it works in that context as well.)

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

I love fake history. LOVE it. I also hope you are managing to stay cool, which I am not given that we are on day 4.5 without electricity.

[edenfalling]

That is WAY too long w/out power! I'm okay, thanks to fans, curtains, & ac at work & libraries. :-)

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

I love how the Pevensie usurpers merit barely a footnote in Calormene history. So, just who are the "trueborn descendants of the old barbarian kings" -- are those the old Archen lords who go back to Frank and Helen?

[edenfalling]

Yes, pretty much! Also some refugees' descendants, probably. No one very directly related to the last monarchs, but the blood ties, though tenuous, exist. Obviously Aslan's choice trumps that for Narnians... so in a funny way the Calormene footnoter is not completely wrong. *wry*

[snacky]

Such is the upheaval in which demons and their pawns delight.

I love it! Fake history is such fun. :D

[edenfalling]

The upper classes of Calormen are, understandably, not thrilled at the precedent of four random peasants from nowhere taking over a whole country without even having the courtesy to pretend they have a drop of royal blood in their lineage. It's bad enough when princes and their cousins fight over the throne -- imagine if any commoner got it into his head that he could do the same!

Fake history is definitely fun. :-)

[bluejayfic.livejournal.com]

Fake history is indeed quite awesome. I particularly love the perverted logic here.
(And it's just the right amount of pretentious. I mean, these are Calormenes. They're pretentious by definition.)

[edenfalling]

Well, true. But they are also master storytellers, and I think that got buried under the faux academia. Alas.