[Fic] "Trollstuck," part 42 - Homestuck
Jan. 15th, 2014 01:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingback to part 41
I realize this is a very short section, but I am trying to finish this story and I figure I'm more likely to do so in many short posts than in fewer long posts. I am not good at delayed gratification, you see, so getting to post something is a really nice carrot I can hold out in front of myself. Anyway, quick recap: this is a non-Sgrub AU wherein the beta kids are trolls on Alternia, and everyone is trying to derail the vengeance cycle between Vriska and Aradia. We left Jothan having just realized that Vriska genuinely is trying to kill one of their mutual friends.
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Trollstuck, part 42
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====>Be Vriska
It's not fair! You were winning, you would've won, you did win -- in the real world, the right world, everything worked! The proof is right there, mocking you. Two dead losers mangled on the grass, pathetic to the end.
Except not, because somehow they cheated death itself, and now you're losing your hold on Captor. Something old and cold and strong is slithering into his mind, filling all the cracks and pushing you out.
It hurts.
It feels like ghosts, and it hurts.
This is her fault. Megido did this -- you know she did, it has her clawmarks all over. She kicked you out of Captor's brain and now she thinks she's safe and she can keep sending ghosts and there's nothing you can do.
Well, fuck her! You can still reach Kronos. Maybe the squid can shield two brains at once, or maybe it can't. The odds are fifty-fifty, and you'll take that bet.
You press your fingers to your temples, cast your mind outward once again.
"Vriska? Was that-- did you just-- um-- they're not really dead, right?" someone says behind you, the voice swimming slowly through the pain and the haze of focus and fury.
It sounds like Jothan.
Oh, shit.
====>Make excuses
You raise your head and spin around in your chair, hands clenched tight on the plastic arms. Jothan is staring at you, wide-eyed and upset, his warhammer hanging limp from one hand. Equius -- and what the hell is that loser doing in your hive?! -- is beside him, hands clenched and sweat drops rolling down his arms as he stares at the images projected on your walls.
"It's not my fault! Aradia was trying to kill me first, with her ghosts! Anyway, nothing worked right -- she's still alive and now she's going to try again and--" You break off. You can see the ghosts hovering around the edges of the room again. They can't come too close -- your secret advantage is keeping them away -- but they're just waiting for a chance. You know it. You can feel their hatred, gnawing at the edges of your mind.
"Please excuse me, I need to find a waste receptacle before I disgrace myself," Equius says, and hurries out the door.
Jothan takes a step forward. "I don't understand. I was afraid you were going to kill yourself, not kill Aradia. You wouldn't kill a friend."
Ha. What does Jothan know anyway! Has anyone ever turned against him for any of his mistakes? Has he ever tried and tried to figure out what he has to do to make everything better, and then had all his plans just make things worse instead? Has he ever spent a whole sweep trying to help a friend just to get that thrown back in his face, and then had everyone blame him for losing his temper just one little time? Has he ever had ghosts ripping his mind apart for nights on end?
"Aradia Megido isn't my friend. I killed her once. I'll do it again! It's her or me, and I choose me."
Jothan's face firms. "I can't let you do that."
You snarl and blink through furious tears. "Oh, I see. You weren't ever really my friend, were you? You just wanted to make me trust you so it'd hurt worse when you turned on me like everyone else, didn't you? Well fuck you!"
"I'm not turning on you! I just want to make sure you don't do something I know you'll regret tomorrow!" he says, but it's lies, all lies, and you're so sick of people being all righteous and condescending at you.
"You know I'll regret it? You don't know me at all!" you say, and you press your hands to your temples. Let's see how he likes having his mind invaded.
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Next section, Aradia! :-)
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continue to part 43
And now back to the Ladystuck archives.
I realize this is a very short section, but I am trying to finish this story and I figure I'm more likely to do so in many short posts than in fewer long posts. I am not good at delayed gratification, you see, so getting to post something is a really nice carrot I can hold out in front of myself. Anyway, quick recap: this is a non-Sgrub AU wherein the beta kids are trolls on Alternia, and everyone is trying to derail the vengeance cycle between Vriska and Aradia. We left Jothan having just realized that Vriska genuinely is trying to kill one of their mutual friends.
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Trollstuck, part 42
---------------------------------------------
====>Be Vriska
It's not fair! You were winning, you would've won, you did win -- in the real world, the right world, everything worked! The proof is right there, mocking you. Two dead losers mangled on the grass, pathetic to the end.
Except not, because somehow they cheated death itself, and now you're losing your hold on Captor. Something old and cold and strong is slithering into his mind, filling all the cracks and pushing you out.
It hurts.
It feels like ghosts, and it hurts.
This is her fault. Megido did this -- you know she did, it has her clawmarks all over. She kicked you out of Captor's brain and now she thinks she's safe and she can keep sending ghosts and there's nothing you can do.
Well, fuck her! You can still reach Kronos. Maybe the squid can shield two brains at once, or maybe it can't. The odds are fifty-fifty, and you'll take that bet.
You press your fingers to your temples, cast your mind outward once again.
"Vriska? Was that-- did you just-- um-- they're not really dead, right?" someone says behind you, the voice swimming slowly through the pain and the haze of focus and fury.
It sounds like Jothan.
Oh, shit.
====>Make excuses
You raise your head and spin around in your chair, hands clenched tight on the plastic arms. Jothan is staring at you, wide-eyed and upset, his warhammer hanging limp from one hand. Equius -- and what the hell is that loser doing in your hive?! -- is beside him, hands clenched and sweat drops rolling down his arms as he stares at the images projected on your walls.
"It's not my fault! Aradia was trying to kill me first, with her ghosts! Anyway, nothing worked right -- she's still alive and now she's going to try again and--" You break off. You can see the ghosts hovering around the edges of the room again. They can't come too close -- your secret advantage is keeping them away -- but they're just waiting for a chance. You know it. You can feel their hatred, gnawing at the edges of your mind.
"Please excuse me, I need to find a waste receptacle before I disgrace myself," Equius says, and hurries out the door.
Jothan takes a step forward. "I don't understand. I was afraid you were going to kill yourself, not kill Aradia. You wouldn't kill a friend."
Ha. What does Jothan know anyway! Has anyone ever turned against him for any of his mistakes? Has he ever tried and tried to figure out what he has to do to make everything better, and then had all his plans just make things worse instead? Has he ever spent a whole sweep trying to help a friend just to get that thrown back in his face, and then had everyone blame him for losing his temper just one little time? Has he ever had ghosts ripping his mind apart for nights on end?
"Aradia Megido isn't my friend. I killed her once. I'll do it again! It's her or me, and I choose me."
Jothan's face firms. "I can't let you do that."
You snarl and blink through furious tears. "Oh, I see. You weren't ever really my friend, were you? You just wanted to make me trust you so it'd hurt worse when you turned on me like everyone else, didn't you? Well fuck you!"
"I'm not turning on you! I just want to make sure you don't do something I know you'll regret tomorrow!" he says, but it's lies, all lies, and you're so sick of people being all righteous and condescending at you.
"You know I'll regret it? You don't know me at all!" you say, and you press your hands to your temples. Let's see how he likes having his mind invaded.
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Next section, Aradia! :-)
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continue to part 43
And now back to the Ladystuck archives.
