[Fic] "For Science!" -- Homestuck
Aug. 30th, 2014 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingSummary: Jade is a scientist deploying an experimental satellite around a neutron star. Karkat and Dave are the pilots of the ship she hires as transport. Together, they... don't actually have sex on-screen, but you know where I'm going with this. ;-) (550 words)
Note: Foraskerian, who asked for DaveJadeKat meeting on a space station AU.
[ETA: The AO3 crosspost is now up!]
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For Science!
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"Is the human body even meant to work like that?" Karkat muttered as he watched Dr. Harley vanish halfway into her... whatever the hell it was. It had started life as a basic stellar orbiter, the same kind used in navigation buoys all through the galaxy, but this one had so many extensions and antennas and weird experimental sensor suites it looked more like a very spiky and asymmetric art exhibit than anything. Also potentially very painful if the good doctor lost her balance and fell onto one of the pointy bits.
"Do I need to demonstrate yoga for you again, schnookums?" his asshole copilot said. "And if so, in or out of bed?"
Karkat growled, pro-forma, and clarified: "Humans who don't spend stupid amounts of my valuable time pretending to be prima donna ballerinas when they could be doing ship repairs or sweet-talking their supposed network of contacts into finding us new jobs."
Dave shrugged. "If she's not used to stretching, she's gonna have one hell of a backache tomorrow, but yeah, we're pretty bendy compared to you. Got a couple more vertebrae, I think, and our hips are set a little different, to say nothing of our shoulders. Why? You wanna rub all the ouchies out of her skin?"
"Argh, get back here you little fucker!" Dr. Harley snarled, and wiggled a little further into her machine. Even through her heavy work gear, the taut, muscular line of her legs was unmistakable. And the flex of her ass.
"Uh," Karkat said.
"Dude," Dave agreed.
Something in the depths of the repurposed orbiter went spang. "Gotcha!" Dr. Harley said. "And stay there, or else!" She eeled out of the cavity and stuck her microwelder back into its slot on her toolbelt. "I think that's the last adjustment, guys. We can launch whenever we hit the designated window in the local magnetic--"
She trailed off as she turned and caught them before they could rearrange their expressions into something more neutral and professional.
"Huh," Dr. Harley said.
"Shit, um, listen, this isn't what it looks like and I swear we won't do anything to make it weird and can you just pretend you didn't see us making complete asses of--"
Karkat slapped his hand over Dave's mouth. "We're shitheads and we're sorry," he said.
"Oh, don't worry," Dr. Harley said. "This saves me a lot of time, actually. It's obvious you two are hate-dating, or at least engaged in a long term red-black quadrant vacillation, but I had no idea if it was exclusive or if you might be open to a fling." She smiled, sharp and bright and somehow wolf-like. "So. What are your feelings on threesomes, and does either of you have any experience with massage?"
Dumbly, Karkat raised his hand. "I do?"
"Excellent! Sex after an intensive engineering session is very invigorating, but it tends to lead to muscle strain the next day. I've been meaning to see if massage might counter that side-effect," said Dr. Harley. "And call me Jade. I prefer to be on a first-name basis with anyone I invite to my cabin."
She turned and strode across the cargo bay, hair swaying behind her like a battle flag.
-----
They missed the first launch window by several hours.
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Inspired by the 8/3/14![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
15_minute_ficlets word #197: contortion
---------------------------------------------
So yeah, that happened!
Note: For
askerian, who asked for DaveJadeKat meeting on a space station AU.[ETA: The AO3 crosspost is now up!]
---------------------------------------------
For Science!
---------------------------------------------
"Is the human body even meant to work like that?" Karkat muttered as he watched Dr. Harley vanish halfway into her... whatever the hell it was. It had started life as a basic stellar orbiter, the same kind used in navigation buoys all through the galaxy, but this one had so many extensions and antennas and weird experimental sensor suites it looked more like a very spiky and asymmetric art exhibit than anything. Also potentially very painful if the good doctor lost her balance and fell onto one of the pointy bits.
"Do I need to demonstrate yoga for you again, schnookums?" his asshole copilot said. "And if so, in or out of bed?"
Karkat growled, pro-forma, and clarified: "Humans who don't spend stupid amounts of my valuable time pretending to be prima donna ballerinas when they could be doing ship repairs or sweet-talking their supposed network of contacts into finding us new jobs."
Dave shrugged. "If she's not used to stretching, she's gonna have one hell of a backache tomorrow, but yeah, we're pretty bendy compared to you. Got a couple more vertebrae, I think, and our hips are set a little different, to say nothing of our shoulders. Why? You wanna rub all the ouchies out of her skin?"
"Argh, get back here you little fucker!" Dr. Harley snarled, and wiggled a little further into her machine. Even through her heavy work gear, the taut, muscular line of her legs was unmistakable. And the flex of her ass.
"Uh," Karkat said.
"Dude," Dave agreed.
Something in the depths of the repurposed orbiter went spang. "Gotcha!" Dr. Harley said. "And stay there, or else!" She eeled out of the cavity and stuck her microwelder back into its slot on her toolbelt. "I think that's the last adjustment, guys. We can launch whenever we hit the designated window in the local magnetic--"
She trailed off as she turned and caught them before they could rearrange their expressions into something more neutral and professional.
"Huh," Dr. Harley said.
"Shit, um, listen, this isn't what it looks like and I swear we won't do anything to make it weird and can you just pretend you didn't see us making complete asses of--"
Karkat slapped his hand over Dave's mouth. "We're shitheads and we're sorry," he said.
"Oh, don't worry," Dr. Harley said. "This saves me a lot of time, actually. It's obvious you two are hate-dating, or at least engaged in a long term red-black quadrant vacillation, but I had no idea if it was exclusive or if you might be open to a fling." She smiled, sharp and bright and somehow wolf-like. "So. What are your feelings on threesomes, and does either of you have any experience with massage?"
Dumbly, Karkat raised his hand. "I do?"
"Excellent! Sex after an intensive engineering session is very invigorating, but it tends to lead to muscle strain the next day. I've been meaning to see if massage might counter that side-effect," said Dr. Harley. "And call me Jade. I prefer to be on a first-name basis with anyone I invite to my cabin."
She turned and strode across the cargo bay, hair swaying behind her like a battle flag.
-----
They missed the first launch window by several hours.
---------------------------------------------
Inspired by the 8/3/14
15_minute_ficlets word #197: contortion---------------------------------------------
So yeah, that happened!
