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1. I feel kind of dumb for not noticing for nearly a week, but hello there blue funk! *arms self, refuses to let go of the world*
I think it crept up on me mixed in with the cold-that-was-mostly-exhaustion, which threw my sleeping schedule completely out of whack with any pretense of normal circadian rhythms. One symptom of depression for me is that I kind of... I guess the best way to put it is that I forget to go to sleep. It's partly because I start losing my connections to the outside world and so while I abstractly know that I will deeply regret getting only four hours of sleep a night, I can't quite make myself care. And it's partly because I start losing my connections to the outside world and so I start narrowly focusing in on something like a lifeline, and that something tends to be obsessive reading -- and you can't read while you're asleep.
The problem, of course, is that lack of sleep exacerbates the depression, which exacerbates the lack of sleep, which exacerbates the depression, etcetera etcetera. It's a positive feedback cycle going nowhere but down.
I am probably not going to get to sleep at a rational hour tonight either. I always mean to, but somehow it never quite happens. Fortunately I have Wednesday off work and no urgent errands to run, so I can sleep thirteen hours if I need to and maybe yank myself up and out by my shoestrings or something. Even if not, this will pass within two more weeks at most. It always does. (And you have no idea how grateful I am that it passes, and that I know it passes.)
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2. In other news, I mentioned a while back that Vicky got me two CDs for Christmas. One is Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons, which I had mentioned to her as an "oh, if you can't think of anything or don't want to get me one of these two specific books, maybe something by them or Florence + the Machine? I've heard them on the radio and kind of liked them?" sort of thing. And I do indeed like them.
The other CD is Midnight Organ Fight by Frightened Rabbit, which is a group I'd never heard of. Vicky does that sometimes -- introduces me to artists she thinks I might like, based on other groups she already knows I like. Sometimes this works out, as with the Decemberists; sometimes it doesn't, as with the Mountain Goats. (I tried hard to like the Mountain Goats, but while the lyrics are interesting, I just find the songs musically unlistenable. De gustibus and all that.)
Frightened Rabbit is a (currently) five-person band, kind of indie light rock. Also Scottish. Very Scottish. And awesome. :-) I think I am going to look into their other albums sometime this year.
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( 3. ) Here is a horror story I have never figured out how to write properly, so I will just tell you the bare bones in 1,000 words:
( Red )
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Now I will continue not going to bed.
I think it crept up on me mixed in with the cold-that-was-mostly-exhaustion, which threw my sleeping schedule completely out of whack with any pretense of normal circadian rhythms. One symptom of depression for me is that I kind of... I guess the best way to put it is that I forget to go to sleep. It's partly because I start losing my connections to the outside world and so while I abstractly know that I will deeply regret getting only four hours of sleep a night, I can't quite make myself care. And it's partly because I start losing my connections to the outside world and so I start narrowly focusing in on something like a lifeline, and that something tends to be obsessive reading -- and you can't read while you're asleep.
The problem, of course, is that lack of sleep exacerbates the depression, which exacerbates the lack of sleep, which exacerbates the depression, etcetera etcetera. It's a positive feedback cycle going nowhere but down.
I am probably not going to get to sleep at a rational hour tonight either. I always mean to, but somehow it never quite happens. Fortunately I have Wednesday off work and no urgent errands to run, so I can sleep thirteen hours if I need to and maybe yank myself up and out by my shoestrings or something. Even if not, this will pass within two more weeks at most. It always does. (And you have no idea how grateful I am that it passes, and that I know it passes.)
---------------
2. In other news, I mentioned a while back that Vicky got me two CDs for Christmas. One is Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons, which I had mentioned to her as an "oh, if you can't think of anything or don't want to get me one of these two specific books, maybe something by them or Florence + the Machine? I've heard them on the radio and kind of liked them?" sort of thing. And I do indeed like them.
The other CD is Midnight Organ Fight by Frightened Rabbit, which is a group I'd never heard of. Vicky does that sometimes -- introduces me to artists she thinks I might like, based on other groups she already knows I like. Sometimes this works out, as with the Decemberists; sometimes it doesn't, as with the Mountain Goats. (I tried hard to like the Mountain Goats, but while the lyrics are interesting, I just find the songs musically unlistenable. De gustibus and all that.)
Frightened Rabbit is a (currently) five-person band, kind of indie light rock. Also Scottish. Very Scottish. And awesome. :-) I think I am going to look into their other albums sometime this year.
---------------
( 3. ) Here is a horror story I have never figured out how to write properly, so I will just tell you the bare bones in 1,000 words:( Red )---------------
Now I will continue not going to bed.
