edenfalling | Oct. 2nd, 2017

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Oct. 2nd, 2017

I have my one-month followup appointment on Thursday, and... we will probably end up changing something, though I'm not sure what.

You see, since the weird side-effects leveled out, when things click, they are really clicking -- by which I mean, when I enjoy something it's in full technicolor rather than faded pastels -- and even when I'm floating the world is back in color rather than grayscale. But I am still drifting/floating and unable to get a stable grip on things for more than a day at a time. In fact, some of my depression-compensating behaviors have gotten worse, which I think is a reaction to knowing that when I get that connection/click to work, my ability to enjoy stuff is now working correctly, so it's like my pleasure-seeking drive is overcharged.

Unfortunately my compensating behaviors are mostly stuff like obsessive reading rather than dealing with necessary life tasks, and obsessive reading tends to screw up my sleep schedule which really does not help anything, so... something has to give.

*sigh*

Hopefully my nurse practitioner will have some advice.

Current Mood: grumpy
Current Location: ithaca, ny
Crossposts: https://edenfalling.livejournal.com/1042813.html

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Elizabeth Culmer

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