[Fic] "Many Happy Returns of the Day" -- Defenders (MCU)

sholio said: Another Year Older: Birthdays - Someone among the Iron Fist and/or Defenders characters having their next birthday after making their new friend(s) in the show. (450 words)

Note: I have no idea why this turned into a dialogue-only ficlet. Sometimes these things just happen to me.

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Many Happy Returns of the Day
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"Hey, Matt, it's Danny Rand. Oh, did I get the time zone conversion right? This isn't a bad time for you?"

"It's fine, I'm on lunch break. Happy Birthday, in case my text didn't come through intelligibly. I forgot to have anyone proofread it."

"It was fine. Well, the happy birthday part was fine. I guess speech to text works best with standard phrases like that. The rest got a little garbled but hey, birthday cards are supposed to be funny."

"Sure. So, you didn't call all the way from... Cambodia?"

"Laos, this week."

"--from Laos without a reason. Do you need help?"

"No. Well, maybe? Or no, probably not. But. Uh. So, I got your text. I also got texts from everyone even tangentially associated with you, Jess, and Luke, and some people I can't even figure out how they're connected, and that's cool and all -- I'm grateful you guys made the effort! -- but, uh..."

"You've sent all of us birthday cards, or texts, or ridiculous voicemail messages. Obviously that kind of connection is important to you. And sending a text isn't like running a marathon or Olympic level weightlifting."

"I guess. I know emotional stuff isn't easy for everyone. But see, the thing is, I got this one text that's a little, um, weird. Even for our context."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It said, 'Thank you for guarding Matthew's city while he recovered. I've removed you from our target list for six months. Happy Birthday.' And it was signed with a little... what's the word for emojis that are made out of text instead of an actual picture?"

"I am the wrong person to answer that question."

"Right, yeah, sorry. Anyway, a little sai made of dashes and a capital E."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

"Matt, how did your dead evil girlfriend get my phone number?"

"...I plead the fifth. But when you think about it logically, that's not a half-bad present. Imagine what you can do with six months free of random Hand encounters."

"That is-- okay, that's pretty cool, but that is not the point! The point is that an undead assassin has my phone number and knows my birthday!"

"I have faith in you to make the best of the situation. Happy Birthday, Danny. See you when you get home."

"Matt, you asshole, don't hang-- Fuck. Great. You know what? Just for that, I will make the best of the situation. I'm going to text Elektra back and tell her you're being a scaredy-cat so she laughs at you. Then I'm going to become her best friend, and rescue her from the Hand, and get you back together. Yeah. Because that's what friends do, you dingus. Happy unbirthday."

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End of Ficlet

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And now back to pretending to work. It is such a SLOW DAY. *wilts over keyboard*

[Fic] "Interrogating the Text from the Wrong Perspective" -- Enchanted Forest Chronicles

wistfulmemory said: Plays and Scripts, with Cimorene and Mendanbar watching a play that was written in their honor. (125 words)

Note: ;)

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Interrogating the Text from the Wrong Perspective
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Halfway through the performance, Mendanbar leaned toward Cimorene and murmured into her ear, "In theory, I'm all in favor of stories where a princess saves a prince rather than the stereotypical way around. In practice, this is excruciating."

"I can't figure out what she sees in him," Cimorene agreed. "At least with paper-thin female characters, you know that the male characters only care about their appearance, but a woman who's intelligent enough to buck tradition ought to have the self-confidence not to sell herself short when looking for a partner."

"Oh, I don't know," Mendanbar said, suddenly seeing the play in a new light. "Shouldn't equality mean that women get to be shallow too? Eye candy for all!"

Cimorene bopped him with her program notes.

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End of Ficlet