edenfalling | Feb. 21st, 2022

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Feb. 21st, 2022

I looked at my recent actions on Saturday and said, "Oh, I'm in the middle of a blue funk. That's why everything suddenly became Too Much all the time, why my sleep schedule has gone to shit, and probably also why I've fallen headfirst into hate-playing the New York Times Spelling Bee game -- I don't have a shiny new fandom in which I can go on an obsessive reading binge, so word games are apparently the next best thing."

Celexa does wonders for my baseline anhedonia, but it does sweet fuck-all for the periodic part of my clinical depression, which I like to anti-affectionately call blue funks or brain-down-a-well episodes. I just have to slog through until they let up, which fortunately only takes 1-3 weeks.

...

I am two words short of a clean sweep of today's Spelling Bee, I know how many letters are in each word and what two-letter combo they start with (I am not a purist, the hints are there to be used), and one of them is the fucking pangram, and I am going to wind up falling asleep without beating this goddamn puzzle and it is driving me nuts.

I don't think I've ever hate-played a game before and it's a weird experience so far. :/

Current Mood: depressed
Current Location: ithaca, ny

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Elizabeth Culmer

March 2026

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I would like to register a strongly-worded complaint against my own brain chemistry

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