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edenfallingI've decided, since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be published in less than two months, to officially give up on finishing two HP stories that I essentially abandoned last year. I'm posting the fragments here; if, for some reason, anyone is interested in continuing either of them, be my guest.
"The Grace of God" is an AU story in which things started to change in the year before Harry was born. The upshot is that James and Lily lived, Voldemort's disembodied essence was captured in a bottle, most of the Death Eaters were imprisoned, and Peter Pettigrew is a pardoned spy, like Snape. There are several other differences, and a long, involved explanation for why and how this world diverged from canon, but "The Grace of God" is basically the story of an Evans family reunion. Petunia and Lily bring their families to visit their parents (who are also alive), and some of the backstory gets revealed during the rather strained day.
It's a rotating POV story, but I never got past the first two sections.
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The Grace of God
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The morning of July 7th dawned bright and clear, and the air promised to be warm, but to no avail. Petunia Dursley, of Number Four Privet Drive, was taking her family to visit her parents -- not the greatest of pleasures but no true chore in and of itself -- but this day she would be forced to spend the afternoon in the presence of her sister, Lily Potter, and Lily's abominable husband and brood.
Needless to say, Petunia was not happy. And when Petunia wasn't happy, her family wasn't happy either.
"Do we have to go today?" complained her son Dudley. "You know Harry hates me -- he turned me into a snake last year! -- and Piers asked me to London with his family..."
"Eww, Piers," said her daughter Daisy, shoving Dudley. "Your friends are nasty!"
"They are not!" said Dudley, turning red. "Besides, do you want to be stuck with Violence and Agony?"
"Your cousins' names," snapped Petunia, as she prodded her children out the front door, "are Violet and Agatha. Do not embarrass me again this year by using those nicknames, no matter how appropriate they are. If they talk to you, don't encourage conversation, but don't be rude. If they do anything unusual, don't panic. Just leave the area and tell me immediately."
"What about Dad?" asked Dudley. "Should we tell him too?"
Petunia looked at her husband; Vernon was packing the cooler with Petunia's carefully prepared hors d'oeuvres into the boot of the car, muttering as he shifted his sample drills to make room. He was a fine, upstanding man, bless him, but he didn't have the touch required to deal with her parents and the Potters at the same time.
"No, leave this to me," she told her children. "Your father's been working very hard lately and he'll already be upset from dealing with your Uncle James this afternoon, so let's keep any problems to ourselves. What do you say, Duddykins, Daisy-dear?"
The children rolled their eyes at the endearments, but nodded. Petunia smiled; she did spoil them a bit, but they were such wonderful children she didn't see how she could help pampering them. The least they could do in return was let her indulge herself now and then, reminding herself of when they were babies.
"Good. Now, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave. We'll go back and see your grandparents by ourselves next month."
In short order Petunia herded her children into the car, tucked herself into the front seat, and leaned over to kiss Vernon on his cheek.
"Eww! Mum, not in front of us!" said Daisy. Dudley made exaggerated gagging noises from the back seat.
"Pipe down," rumbled Vernon as he turned his head to maneuver the car down the driveway. "I want you both on your best behavior today -- we're not going to let those Potters make us look bad in front of your grandparents. Watch yourselves, and they'll slip up sooner or later. Their sort always do."
Petunia smiled fondly at her husband and settled in for the drive.
---------------------------------------------
James Potter watched with badly disguised amusement as his wife tried to keep their children from destroying the Knight Bus.
"Violet! Agatha! We do not play tag in the bus!" The girls ignored her and kept bouncing from chair to chair, leaving chaos in their wake.
"Harry, stop bothering poor Mr. Shunpike and help me catch your sisters!" Harry halfheartedly stuck out his foot when Agatha raced past, but she skipped over it and dove after Violet in a flying tackle.
"They're too fast for me, Mum. Sorry," said Harry, not sounding particularly upset. He turned back to Stan Shunpike, the conductor, and resumed grilling the hapless young man on the latest Quidditch odds.
James inched toward the staircase leading to the upper deck. With a bit of luck, he could escape before Lily got the girls under control, and have some time to sulk about his failure to slip out of this visit with Lily's parents and the Dursleys. He'd been so sure Lily would believe that excuse about an emergency stakeout...
"Don't think I don't see you sneaking away, James." Lily shoved her tangled red hair back from her face and glared at her husband. "You're the Auror, for goodness' sake -- stun them!"
"Lily, I don't think--"
"Damn right you don't think! Quick, while they're on the beds!" Lily whipped out her own wand and cast a hasty spell toward Agatha, who rolled to the floor to avoid it. "Blast! Agatha, go sit down in the corner or I'll keep this up until I hit you."
Agatha peered around the footboard of the bed with huge, watery eyes. "Daddy, Mummy's trying to hex me!"
"Agatha, so help me, if you don't sit down and behave this instant--"
Violet, who had a few years' more experience with that particular tone than Agatha did, scrambled out from behind another bed and grabbed her little sister from behind. "Come on, Aggie, the game's over. You can chase me again this afternoon. Or," -- and here a wicked grin spread over her face -- "you can chase fat Dudley and stupid Daisy instead."
"Violet Potter, stop giving your sister ideas!" Lily pointed her wand carefully at the floor, her fingers clenched so hard James imagined she might snap the wood by accident. She took a deep breath, paused, and then took three more, slowly. Her family watched, wary.
Lily looked up, noticed the circle of cautious eyes, and shook out her hand. "I'm not going to explode, you know," she said with a weak smile. "Sorry if that interrupts your planned entertainment."
"Don't worry about it," said Harry, ambling over to nudge his mother in the shoulder. "We just forgot how easy it is to wind you up when we're visiting Aunt Petunia and those rot-- and her family," he corrected himself hastily. "We'll be quiet as house elves, right Vi?"
"Yeah," agreed Violet. "Aggie, you too."
"You all stink," Agatha informed them, crossing her arms and attempting a very credible version of Sirius's kicked-puppy face.
James sighed, and walked over to scoop her into his arms; she was definitely too heavy for that move these days, but it was the only sure way to make her stop pouting. "It'll be fine, Aggie. Just stick by your brother and sister, and don't pay attention to your cousins. They can't make trouble if you don't let them." Agatha developed a sly gleam in her eyes. "Not the good kind of trouble," said James, jouncing her to drive the point home. "If I can ignore your Uncle Vernon, you should have no problems ignoring Dudley and Daisy. And if I hear anything about accidental magic..." He let the threat dangle for a moment.
"That goes double for me, Agatha," said Lily, as James sat on a bed and deposited Agatha to his side. "Also, Harry, turn out your pockets; I don't want another problem with 'misplaced' candies from those Weasley boys."
Harry grumbled, and handed over a fistful of what looked like butterscotch drops. James resolved to pick Lily's pockets at the first opportunity; those twins were almost as creative as the Marauders had been in their heyday, and it was good to keep up on current developments in trick magic.
The Knight Bus lurched sideways, and stopped. After the usual moment of disorientation, as all the furnishings flew forward while people's stomachs attempted to fly in the opposite direction, James picked himself up off the bed, grabbed Agatha's hand, and braced himself to face his in-laws.
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---------------------------------------------
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Later on, after Lily and Petunia had had an argument, I planned to have James and Vernon left with Mr. Evans while Mrs. Evans attempted to reconcile her daughters. Here's a bit of that section:
Anthony watched Rose lead their daughters into the kitchen, and wished her luck. Then he turned back to his sons-in-law, hoping he might be able to negotiate a truce.
Vernon and James glared at each other over the coffee table, and Anthony concealed a wince. He should have known better than to get his hopes up. Lily and Petunia could be induced, carefully, to get along -- there were unexpected flashes of kindness and veins of sisterly solidarity mixed in with the Möbius-strip maze of jealousy, anger, and festering grudges -- but James and Vernon simply despised each other.
"Potter," Vernon said, setting his teacup on the table.
"Dursley," James responded, examining his fingernails.
"It's a lovely day," Anthony said, somewhat desperately. "Shall we go out and see what the children are up to?"
---------------------------------------------
End of Fragment
"The Grace of God" is an AU story in which things started to change in the year before Harry was born. The upshot is that James and Lily lived, Voldemort's disembodied essence was captured in a bottle, most of the Death Eaters were imprisoned, and Peter Pettigrew is a pardoned spy, like Snape. There are several other differences, and a long, involved explanation for why and how this world diverged from canon, but "The Grace of God" is basically the story of an Evans family reunion. Petunia and Lily bring their families to visit their parents (who are also alive), and some of the backstory gets revealed during the rather strained day.
It's a rotating POV story, but I never got past the first two sections.
---------------------------------------------
The Grace of God
---------------------------------------------
The morning of July 7th dawned bright and clear, and the air promised to be warm, but to no avail. Petunia Dursley, of Number Four Privet Drive, was taking her family to visit her parents -- not the greatest of pleasures but no true chore in and of itself -- but this day she would be forced to spend the afternoon in the presence of her sister, Lily Potter, and Lily's abominable husband and brood.
Needless to say, Petunia was not happy. And when Petunia wasn't happy, her family wasn't happy either.
"Do we have to go today?" complained her son Dudley. "You know Harry hates me -- he turned me into a snake last year! -- and Piers asked me to London with his family..."
"Eww, Piers," said her daughter Daisy, shoving Dudley. "Your friends are nasty!"
"They are not!" said Dudley, turning red. "Besides, do you want to be stuck with Violence and Agony?"
"Your cousins' names," snapped Petunia, as she prodded her children out the front door, "are Violet and Agatha. Do not embarrass me again this year by using those nicknames, no matter how appropriate they are. If they talk to you, don't encourage conversation, but don't be rude. If they do anything unusual, don't panic. Just leave the area and tell me immediately."
"What about Dad?" asked Dudley. "Should we tell him too?"
Petunia looked at her husband; Vernon was packing the cooler with Petunia's carefully prepared hors d'oeuvres into the boot of the car, muttering as he shifted his sample drills to make room. He was a fine, upstanding man, bless him, but he didn't have the touch required to deal with her parents and the Potters at the same time.
"No, leave this to me," she told her children. "Your father's been working very hard lately and he'll already be upset from dealing with your Uncle James this afternoon, so let's keep any problems to ourselves. What do you say, Duddykins, Daisy-dear?"
The children rolled their eyes at the endearments, but nodded. Petunia smiled; she did spoil them a bit, but they were such wonderful children she didn't see how she could help pampering them. The least they could do in return was let her indulge herself now and then, reminding herself of when they were babies.
"Good. Now, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave. We'll go back and see your grandparents by ourselves next month."
In short order Petunia herded her children into the car, tucked herself into the front seat, and leaned over to kiss Vernon on his cheek.
"Eww! Mum, not in front of us!" said Daisy. Dudley made exaggerated gagging noises from the back seat.
"Pipe down," rumbled Vernon as he turned his head to maneuver the car down the driveway. "I want you both on your best behavior today -- we're not going to let those Potters make us look bad in front of your grandparents. Watch yourselves, and they'll slip up sooner or later. Their sort always do."
Petunia smiled fondly at her husband and settled in for the drive.
---------------------------------------------
James Potter watched with badly disguised amusement as his wife tried to keep their children from destroying the Knight Bus.
"Violet! Agatha! We do not play tag in the bus!" The girls ignored her and kept bouncing from chair to chair, leaving chaos in their wake.
"Harry, stop bothering poor Mr. Shunpike and help me catch your sisters!" Harry halfheartedly stuck out his foot when Agatha raced past, but she skipped over it and dove after Violet in a flying tackle.
"They're too fast for me, Mum. Sorry," said Harry, not sounding particularly upset. He turned back to Stan Shunpike, the conductor, and resumed grilling the hapless young man on the latest Quidditch odds.
James inched toward the staircase leading to the upper deck. With a bit of luck, he could escape before Lily got the girls under control, and have some time to sulk about his failure to slip out of this visit with Lily's parents and the Dursleys. He'd been so sure Lily would believe that excuse about an emergency stakeout...
"Don't think I don't see you sneaking away, James." Lily shoved her tangled red hair back from her face and glared at her husband. "You're the Auror, for goodness' sake -- stun them!"
"Lily, I don't think--"
"Damn right you don't think! Quick, while they're on the beds!" Lily whipped out her own wand and cast a hasty spell toward Agatha, who rolled to the floor to avoid it. "Blast! Agatha, go sit down in the corner or I'll keep this up until I hit you."
Agatha peered around the footboard of the bed with huge, watery eyes. "Daddy, Mummy's trying to hex me!"
"Agatha, so help me, if you don't sit down and behave this instant--"
Violet, who had a few years' more experience with that particular tone than Agatha did, scrambled out from behind another bed and grabbed her little sister from behind. "Come on, Aggie, the game's over. You can chase me again this afternoon. Or," -- and here a wicked grin spread over her face -- "you can chase fat Dudley and stupid Daisy instead."
"Violet Potter, stop giving your sister ideas!" Lily pointed her wand carefully at the floor, her fingers clenched so hard James imagined she might snap the wood by accident. She took a deep breath, paused, and then took three more, slowly. Her family watched, wary.
Lily looked up, noticed the circle of cautious eyes, and shook out her hand. "I'm not going to explode, you know," she said with a weak smile. "Sorry if that interrupts your planned entertainment."
"Don't worry about it," said Harry, ambling over to nudge his mother in the shoulder. "We just forgot how easy it is to wind you up when we're visiting Aunt Petunia and those rot-- and her family," he corrected himself hastily. "We'll be quiet as house elves, right Vi?"
"Yeah," agreed Violet. "Aggie, you too."
"You all stink," Agatha informed them, crossing her arms and attempting a very credible version of Sirius's kicked-puppy face.
James sighed, and walked over to scoop her into his arms; she was definitely too heavy for that move these days, but it was the only sure way to make her stop pouting. "It'll be fine, Aggie. Just stick by your brother and sister, and don't pay attention to your cousins. They can't make trouble if you don't let them." Agatha developed a sly gleam in her eyes. "Not the good kind of trouble," said James, jouncing her to drive the point home. "If I can ignore your Uncle Vernon, you should have no problems ignoring Dudley and Daisy. And if I hear anything about accidental magic..." He let the threat dangle for a moment.
"That goes double for me, Agatha," said Lily, as James sat on a bed and deposited Agatha to his side. "Also, Harry, turn out your pockets; I don't want another problem with 'misplaced' candies from those Weasley boys."
Harry grumbled, and handed over a fistful of what looked like butterscotch drops. James resolved to pick Lily's pockets at the first opportunity; those twins were almost as creative as the Marauders had been in their heyday, and it was good to keep up on current developments in trick magic.
The Knight Bus lurched sideways, and stopped. After the usual moment of disorientation, as all the furnishings flew forward while people's stomachs attempted to fly in the opposite direction, James picked himself up off the bed, grabbed Agatha's hand, and braced himself to face his in-laws.
---------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
Later on, after Lily and Petunia had had an argument, I planned to have James and Vernon left with Mr. Evans while Mrs. Evans attempted to reconcile her daughters. Here's a bit of that section:
Anthony watched Rose lead their daughters into the kitchen, and wished her luck. Then he turned back to his sons-in-law, hoping he might be able to negotiate a truce.
Vernon and James glared at each other over the coffee table, and Anthony concealed a wince. He should have known better than to get his hopes up. Lily and Petunia could be induced, carefully, to get along -- there were unexpected flashes of kindness and veins of sisterly solidarity mixed in with the Möbius-strip maze of jealousy, anger, and festering grudges -- but James and Vernon simply despised each other.
"Potter," Vernon said, setting his teacup on the table.
"Dursley," James responded, examining his fingernails.
"It's a lovely day," Anthony said, somewhat desperately. "Shall we go out and see what the children are up to?"
---------------------------------------------
End of Fragment
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-30 12:20 pm (UTC)Well, that just sets the tone. An unpleasant afternoon indeed.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-30 03:54 pm (UTC)