oh god *hits pause, hides eyes* (i.e., Liz watches 500 Days of Summer)

[edenfalling]

Things I have learned about myself over the years:

1. I vastly prefer action movies or serious arthouse flicks to comedies (romantic or otherwise).

2. I have a sympathetic embarrassment squick.

3. Shockingly enough, those first two points are related.


...

This reflection brought to you twenty minutes into watching (500) Days of Summer. Awkward flirting, a young man being a dick to a young woman because she doesn't want to date anyone, and drunken karaoke. *flinch*

(My one consolation is that it's Tom's friend being a dick to Summer, not Tom himself, though he was pretty awful in his own right with the whole "You know what I need" thing when she asked if he needed any supplies at work. Still. That conversation is way too close to my own life for comfort.)

ETA: Am now at the one hour mark, in the middle of the awful blind date, and we are back to drunken karaoke. I think this is a pretty good movie, but ye gods, it is just one painfully awkward moment after another, and it's done with enough realism (even the bizarro moments have emotional realism) that I cannot write it off as farce and try to disengage my empathy. Ow, flinch, ow, flinch, ow. (Yeah, okay, some parts are damn funny, but they're not the parts that stick with me.)

Tom can't figure out where he went wrong. This is because he's too close to the issue and has stupid assumptions to boot. I can tell you exactly where he screwed up. He went wrong from the beginning, when he lied and said he was okay with casual and being just friends, and then assumed that the kiss meant Summer wasn't serious about her "let's not get serious" schtick, instead of saying, "Hey, so what exactly do you mean by 'friends' and 'not serious,' because this is not what I use those words to mean, and also I really like you, so please don't lead me on." Honesty and clear communication are key, and romantic love will not magically grow just because one person in a relationship wants it to.

Comments

[joisbishmyoga.livejournal.com]

I totally understand. I have to leave the room and get out of earshot when someone's watching sitcoms because every single joke is embarassing, not funny, and is something that would severely upset whoever it happened to. Same thing happens with movies. I've been known to "conveniently" need the restroom when an embarrassment scene (honestly embarrassing or "funny") is playing. And I half-liked Katy Perry's "It's Friday Night" song until I saw the music video. Ugh.

[cherokee1.livejournal.com]

Nice to know it is not just me.
I thought I was oversensitive, but some things just are not funny.
C

[edenfalling]

Sitcoms are actually easier for me, because I can usually stop myself from granting the characters too much emotional weight, but they are still wince-worthy. I know better than to go see embarrassment comedies anymore, but dramedies keep tripping me up. I grant the characters emotional reality because of the drama, and that makes the embarrassment hit like a freaking sledgehammer. :-(

[edenfalling]

It was a good movie, but eesh, while I can see how a lot of the scenes were meant to be amusing, the funny was frequently drowned out by the painful awkwardness and humiliation.

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends. Whole years of sitcoms I have never watched due to the embarrassment factor. You are not alone! My husband suggests that it's because I identify so strongly with some smart, over the top female character, that I can't watch her humiliation without projecting. I think it's broader than that, though.

[edenfalling]

I am too young to have seen Cheers while it was airing, so I have no idea how I'd react to it. :-( Friends could get painful on the few occasions I watched it. With Seinfeld, though, I could never believe in the characters as actual human beings and so it was easier to watch. (Except I also found the show incredibly annoying, so I didn't watch it anyway.)

For me, character identification is definitely the key, but it's not tied to gender. Once any character comes off rounded enough to feel "real" to me, I cringe whenever that person is in a humiliating or embarrassing situation... sometimes even when the person in question would not him- or herself be embarrassed!