[Fic] "Trollstuck," part 36 - Homestuck
Oct. 5th, 2013 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingback to part 35
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Trollstuck, part 36
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====>What
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>The
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>Actual
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>Bulge-licking
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
...
...
...
Reboot failed. Abort or retry?
====>Reboot narrative
Okay! Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>You have got to be shitting me
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
...
...
...
====>Make the goddamn music stop!
Narrative successfully rebooted!
As a reward for your impeccable manners and exemplary patience, you are once again Equius Zahhak. Congratulations!
====>Fuck
Abso100tely not.
====>...
That is still not a valid story command. Please try again.
====>Equius: Go deal with Vriska already!
You have no desire nor intent to visit Vriska Serket any time in the rest of your natural lifespans. Besides, you're still busy collecting usable scraps from Jothan's rocketcycle. You have no time for pointless socialization.
====>Then why do you keep answering when people troll you?
Online interactions are completely different from the protocols that govern personal encounters between trolls, particularly trolls of such standing as you and (regrettably) your neighbor. For example, while it would be unthinkable for you to disgrace yourself by visiting Terezi Pyrope's hive -- those of lower blood should always come to their superiors, to show respect and diligence -- it is perfectly acceptable to answer should she contact you via Trollian.
Which, as if to prove your point, she is doing right this moment.
You hope it's not more of this nonsense Nepeta has taken to heart.
====>Answer Terezi
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
GC: 3QU1US Z4HH4K, 1 4M D1S4PPO1NT3D 1N YOU
GC: K4RK4T, K4N4Y4, 4ND N3P3T4 4LL T3LL M3 YOU 4R3 B31NG, 4S N3P3T4 PUT 1T, 4 G14NT POOPYH34D
GC: 4ND R3FUS1NG TO B3L13V3 TH4T 4 P3RSON 1 KNOW YOU DONT TRUST W1TH YOUR MO1R41LS L1F3 M1GHT SOM3HOW 4LSO B3 C4PABL3 OF 3ND4NG3R1NG 4R4D14S L1F3
GC: TH3R3 1S 1GNOR4NC3 4ND TH3R3 1S W1LFULL, CR1M1N4L STUP1D1TY
GC: T4K3 4 W1LD GU3SS WH1CH ON3 1 S33 H3R3
CT: D --> I refuse to be corralled into your personal feud with my neighbor
CT: D --> Any quarrel she may have with Aradia Megido is likewise none of my concern
CT: D --> Assuming such a quarrel exists at all, which I find dubious
CT: D --> Any self-respecting lowb100d sh00ld know better than to trigger a highb100d's aggressive instincts
GC: H4
GC: H4H4
GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
GC: H4V3 YOU 3V3R *M3T* 4R4D14?
GC: 4ND 1F YOU D1D M33T H3R, HOW LONG D1D 1T T4K3 YOU TO M3NT4LLY 3R4S3 H3R P3RSON4L1TY 4ND R3PL4C3 1T W1TH SOME CR33PY F3T1SH1ST1C N1GHTDR34M?
CT: D --> You will cease making such 100d insinuations at once
GC: STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT WH4T YOUR C4ST31ST C4R1C4TUR3 OF 4 P3RF3CT RUSTBLOOD WOULD DO 4ND 3XTR4POL4T3 4R4D14S B3H4V1OR FROM WH4T SH3S 4CTU4LLY DON3 1N TH3 P4ST
GC: L1K3 CH4LL3NG3 M3 4ND VR1SK4 4T FL4RP
GC: SH3 C4M3 TO US, NOT TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND!
GC: 4ND SH3 W3NT 4FT3R VR1SK4 1N R3TURN FOR WH4T VR1SK4 D1D TO T4VROS
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> Why w00ld she step in for
CT: D --> That is completely beyond the bounds of
GC: B3C4US3 TH3YR3 FR13NDS, DUH
GC: FR13NDS 4R3 ST1LL 4 TH1NG TH4T 3X1STS
GC: WH1CH, BY TH3 W4Y, 1S 4LSO WHY 3V3RYON3 1S TRY1NG TO S4V3 H3R
GC: MOST OF US 4R3 TOO F4R 4W4Y TO M4K3 4NY D1R3CT D1FF3R3NC3 BUT YOU L1V3 R1GHT N3XT DOOR TO VR1SK4
GC: AT L34ST GO S33 FOR YOURS3LF 1F W3R3 T3LL1NG TH3 TRUTH
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> She w001d never let me in without a proper prete%t
CT: D --> I have none, and it's beneath my dignity to break and enter like a common criminal
CT: D --> Besides, any hypothetical cycle of revenge is a private affair and I have no e%cuse to interfere
GC: 4RGH
GC: N3P3T4 1S R1GHT
GC: YOUR3 4 G14NT POOPYH34D
CT: D --> I'm sure she said no such thing
CT: D --> She knows I disapprove of such crude language
GC: S1GH
GC: LOOK, WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG R1GHT NOW?
CT: D --> Gathering the broken remnants of Jothan Aeolio's rocketcycle, which fell into the chasm next to my hive when he had an unfortunate encanter with my neighbor's latest doomsday device
CT: D --> He knocked himself unconscious and is currently recovering in my hive
CT: D --> It's only polite to offer him the salvage and my technical e%pertise if he chooses to restore the machine rather than requisition a replacement
GC: BUT H3S NOT 1N YOUR H1V3 4NYMOR3!
GC: K4RK4T S41D
GC: W41T, TH4TS 1T
GC: TH4TS YOUR PR3T3XT
GC: SORRY, PR3T3%T
GC: L1ST3N, JOTH4N BROK3 OUT OF YOUR H1V3 A L1TTL3 B1T 4GO 4ND W3NT OV3R TO S33 VR1SK4
GC: 1F YOU W4NT TO G1V3 H1M H1S S4LV4G3 YOULL H4V3 TO GO OV3R TH3R3 TOO
CT: D --> That doesn't follow at all
CT: D --> I can make the offer via Trollian and arrange a physical meeting at any mutually a%eptable time
GC: DOUBL3 4RGH W1TH GRUBS4UC3 4ND 4 CH3RRY ON TOP!
GC: 1 G1V3 UP
GC: 3NJOY YOUR L1F3T1M3 OF R3GR3TS
GC: 1 HOP3 1TS V3RY, V3RY LONG
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
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Next section there will be ART! (At least, there should be art. Probably. Hopefully. Kinda-sorta maybe a little? *crosses fingers*)
---------------------------------------------
continue to part 37
It is nothing short of amazing how much better I feel and faster I write when I'm getting at least eight hours of sleep per day. Absolutely straight-up amazing. I must continue this streak of sensible life choices.
---------------
In other news, this weekend is the 31st Apple Harvest Festival -- hurrah for fall traditions that are carrying on despite logistical oddities caused by the renovation of the Commons. (Normally all municipal festivals are held on the Commons -- a three block pedestrian-only zone in the center of town -- but that's impossible this year and next year since that area is currently a massive construction site.) I bought a bottle of wine and a bottle of hard cider, and I think tomorrow between church and work I may see if I can find somebody selling fudge. Failing that, I will buy funnel cake, because funnel cake is delicious and terrible for me and I only get it maybe twice a year, so I enjoy the hell out of the indulgence when I can. :-)
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Trollstuck, part 36
---------------------------------------------
====>What
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>The
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>Actual
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>Bulge-licking
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
...
...
...
Reboot failed. Abort or retry?
====>Reboot narrative
Okay! Please wait while the narrative reboots.
====>You have got to be shitting me
Story commands cannot be processed without a functioning narrative. Please wait while the narrative reboots.
...
...
...
====>Make the goddamn music stop!
Narrative successfully rebooted!
As a reward for your impeccable manners and exemplary patience, you are once again Equius Zahhak. Congratulations!
====>Fuck
Abso100tely not.
====>...
That is still not a valid story command. Please try again.
====>Equius: Go deal with Vriska already!
You have no desire nor intent to visit Vriska Serket any time in the rest of your natural lifespans. Besides, you're still busy collecting usable scraps from Jothan's rocketcycle. You have no time for pointless socialization.
====>Then why do you keep answering when people troll you?
Online interactions are completely different from the protocols that govern personal encounters between trolls, particularly trolls of such standing as you and (regrettably) your neighbor. For example, while it would be unthinkable for you to disgrace yourself by visiting Terezi Pyrope's hive -- those of lower blood should always come to their superiors, to show respect and diligence -- it is perfectly acceptable to answer should she contact you via Trollian.
Which, as if to prove your point, she is doing right this moment.
You hope it's not more of this nonsense Nepeta has taken to heart.
====>Answer Terezi
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
GC: 3QU1US Z4HH4K, 1 4M D1S4PPO1NT3D 1N YOU
GC: K4RK4T, K4N4Y4, 4ND N3P3T4 4LL T3LL M3 YOU 4R3 B31NG, 4S N3P3T4 PUT 1T, 4 G14NT POOPYH34D
GC: 4ND R3FUS1NG TO B3L13V3 TH4T 4 P3RSON 1 KNOW YOU DONT TRUST W1TH YOUR MO1R41LS L1F3 M1GHT SOM3HOW 4LSO B3 C4PABL3 OF 3ND4NG3R1NG 4R4D14S L1F3
GC: TH3R3 1S 1GNOR4NC3 4ND TH3R3 1S W1LFULL, CR1M1N4L STUP1D1TY
GC: T4K3 4 W1LD GU3SS WH1CH ON3 1 S33 H3R3
CT: D --> I refuse to be corralled into your personal feud with my neighbor
CT: D --> Any quarrel she may have with Aradia Megido is likewise none of my concern
CT: D --> Assuming such a quarrel exists at all, which I find dubious
CT: D --> Any self-respecting lowb100d sh00ld know better than to trigger a highb100d's aggressive instincts
GC: H4
GC: H4H4
GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
GC: H4V3 YOU 3V3R *M3T* 4R4D14?
GC: 4ND 1F YOU D1D M33T H3R, HOW LONG D1D 1T T4K3 YOU TO M3NT4LLY 3R4S3 H3R P3RSON4L1TY 4ND R3PL4C3 1T W1TH SOME CR33PY F3T1SH1ST1C N1GHTDR34M?
CT: D --> You will cease making such 100d insinuations at once
GC: STOP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT WH4T YOUR C4ST31ST C4R1C4TUR3 OF 4 P3RF3CT RUSTBLOOD WOULD DO 4ND 3XTR4POL4T3 4R4D14S B3H4V1OR FROM WH4T SH3S 4CTU4LLY DON3 1N TH3 P4ST
GC: L1K3 CH4LL3NG3 M3 4ND VR1SK4 4T FL4RP
GC: SH3 C4M3 TO US, NOT TH3 OTH3R W4Y 4ROUND!
GC: 4ND SH3 W3NT 4FT3R VR1SK4 1N R3TURN FOR WH4T VR1SK4 D1D TO T4VROS
CT: D --> But
CT: D --> Why w00ld she step in for
CT: D --> That is completely beyond the bounds of
GC: B3C4US3 TH3YR3 FR13NDS, DUH
GC: FR13NDS 4R3 ST1LL 4 TH1NG TH4T 3X1STS
GC: WH1CH, BY TH3 W4Y, 1S 4LSO WHY 3V3RYON3 1S TRY1NG TO S4V3 H3R
GC: MOST OF US 4R3 TOO F4R 4W4Y TO M4K3 4NY D1R3CT D1FF3R3NC3 BUT YOU L1V3 R1GHT N3XT DOOR TO VR1SK4
GC: AT L34ST GO S33 FOR YOURS3LF 1F W3R3 T3LL1NG TH3 TRUTH
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> She w001d never let me in without a proper prete%t
CT: D --> I have none, and it's beneath my dignity to break and enter like a common criminal
CT: D --> Besides, any hypothetical cycle of revenge is a private affair and I have no e%cuse to interfere
GC: 4RGH
GC: N3P3T4 1S R1GHT
GC: YOUR3 4 G14NT POOPYH34D
CT: D --> I'm sure she said no such thing
CT: D --> She knows I disapprove of such crude language
GC: S1GH
GC: LOOK, WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG R1GHT NOW?
CT: D --> Gathering the broken remnants of Jothan Aeolio's rocketcycle, which fell into the chasm next to my hive when he had an unfortunate encanter with my neighbor's latest doomsday device
CT: D --> He knocked himself unconscious and is currently recovering in my hive
CT: D --> It's only polite to offer him the salvage and my technical e%pertise if he chooses to restore the machine rather than requisition a replacement
GC: BUT H3S NOT 1N YOUR H1V3 4NYMOR3!
GC: K4RK4T S41D
GC: W41T, TH4TS 1T
GC: TH4TS YOUR PR3T3XT
GC: SORRY, PR3T3%T
GC: L1ST3N, JOTH4N BROK3 OUT OF YOUR H1V3 A L1TTL3 B1T 4GO 4ND W3NT OV3R TO S33 VR1SK4
GC: 1F YOU W4NT TO G1V3 H1M H1S S4LV4G3 YOULL H4V3 TO GO OV3R TH3R3 TOO
CT: D --> That doesn't follow at all
CT: D --> I can make the offer via Trollian and arrange a physical meeting at any mutually a%eptable time
GC: DOUBL3 4RGH W1TH GRUBS4UC3 4ND 4 CH3RRY ON TOP!
GC: 1 G1V3 UP
GC: 3NJOY YOUR L1F3T1M3 OF R3GR3TS
GC: 1 HOP3 1TS V3RY, V3RY LONG
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --
---------------
---------------
---------------
Next section there will be ART! (At least, there should be art. Probably. Hopefully. Kinda-sorta maybe a little? *crosses fingers*)
---------------------------------------------
continue to part 37
It is nothing short of amazing how much better I feel and faster I write when I'm getting at least eight hours of sleep per day. Absolutely straight-up amazing. I must continue this streak of sensible life choices.
---------------
In other news, this weekend is the 31st Apple Harvest Festival -- hurrah for fall traditions that are carrying on despite logistical oddities caused by the renovation of the Commons. (Normally all municipal festivals are held on the Commons -- a three block pedestrian-only zone in the center of town -- but that's impossible this year and next year since that area is currently a massive construction site.) I bought a bottle of wine and a bottle of hard cider, and I think tomorrow between church and work I may see if I can find somebody selling fudge. Failing that, I will buy funnel cake, because funnel cake is delicious and terrible for me and I only get it maybe twice a year, so I enjoy the hell out of the indulgence when I can. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-06 11:01 am (UTC)... so IC. DX
(no subject)
Date: 2013-10-07 02:45 am (UTC)