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edenfalling1. Department of Complaints
Recently, H, a managerial type in my company, came back from an extended position at our Australian branch. (Apparently we have an Australian branch. Who knew?) He is now the boss of a subsection of my half of our company, said subsection including my department.
H has instituted a new policy whereby temp workers cannot have external internet access. We can only use the company intranet.
This means I cannot check my email at work. It also means I am excruciatingly bored on my lunch break, since I can't leave the building (no car, hence no time for travel), everyone in my department takes lunch at different times, and I can't go online and, oh, say, check my livejournal.
I am NOT AMUSED. *shakes impotent fist at H*
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2. Mesmerize
The more I edit "Knives," the more I'm reminded why I was compelled to write the story in the first place.
I really am not sure when I first noticed, but I find torture scenes oddly fascinating. You know how, when you're reading, some scenes catch your imagination and you feel like time slows down as you read them, like you're absorbing every tiny detail? That happens to me during well-written torture scenes. (Other scenes as well, but we're talking dark stuff here.)
I think it's the extremes of emotion, and the disconnection from what most people consider a sane reality, that does it for me. It's the idea of Stockholm syndrome, and the connection between torturer and victim, the way they establish their own private reality.
That's what I was aiming at in "Knives." I'm not totally sure I hit my target, but I'm close enough that the story works for me on that 'no-time' level.
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3. Modes of Thought
Occasionally I wonder why most of my original fanfic characters are female, and why I tend to use female characters as my default POV people. Sometimes I even feel a little awkward and guilty for not keeping a more even balance between women and men.
Then I remember that when I was about 13 years old, I wanted to write the story of a girl who became a great warrior, but I thought to myself, "No, it's been done already. Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness."
I sighed.
...And then I realized how screwy that logic was. Honestly, how many thousands of stories have been written about boys who become great warriors? And I felt I couldn't write about a female warrior because one person had already done it?
Occasionally it really strikes home just how strongly cultural assumptions affect our thoughts and attitudes, even when we consciously repudiate them.
Recently, H, a managerial type in my company, came back from an extended position at our Australian branch. (Apparently we have an Australian branch. Who knew?) He is now the boss of a subsection of my half of our company, said subsection including my department.
H has instituted a new policy whereby temp workers cannot have external internet access. We can only use the company intranet.
This means I cannot check my email at work. It also means I am excruciatingly bored on my lunch break, since I can't leave the building (no car, hence no time for travel), everyone in my department takes lunch at different times, and I can't go online and, oh, say, check my livejournal.
I am NOT AMUSED. *shakes impotent fist at H*
-------------------------------
2. Mesmerize
The more I edit "Knives," the more I'm reminded why I was compelled to write the story in the first place.
I really am not sure when I first noticed, but I find torture scenes oddly fascinating. You know how, when you're reading, some scenes catch your imagination and you feel like time slows down as you read them, like you're absorbing every tiny detail? That happens to me during well-written torture scenes. (Other scenes as well, but we're talking dark stuff here.)
I think it's the extremes of emotion, and the disconnection from what most people consider a sane reality, that does it for me. It's the idea of Stockholm syndrome, and the connection between torturer and victim, the way they establish their own private reality.
That's what I was aiming at in "Knives." I'm not totally sure I hit my target, but I'm close enough that the story works for me on that 'no-time' level.
--------------------------------
3. Modes of Thought
Occasionally I wonder why most of my original fanfic characters are female, and why I tend to use female characters as my default POV people. Sometimes I even feel a little awkward and guilty for not keeping a more even balance between women and men.
Then I remember that when I was about 13 years old, I wanted to write the story of a girl who became a great warrior, but I thought to myself, "No, it's been done already. Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness."
I sighed.
...And then I realized how screwy that logic was. Honestly, how many thousands of stories have been written about boys who become great warriors? And I felt I couldn't write about a female warrior because one person had already done it?
Occasionally it really strikes home just how strongly cultural assumptions affect our thoughts and attitudes, even when we consciously repudiate them.
