writing progress report: "Guardian" and "The Sum of Things"

[edenfalling]

I managed to get Iruka into "Guardian" -- granted, he's on the other end of a phone conversation so you don't get to 'see' him, but still. He's there!

(I'm not sure if Konoha has telephones, but I accidentally mentioned phone numbers as an aside back in "Apartment Manager," so I went with it. However, the Konoha phone directory is interesting, since it doesn't always list a street address to go along with the phone number -- ninja are paranoid that way. Civilians may or may not list their addresses, and businesses almost always do, since they need to be easily locatable. *sigh* I think too much about these things.)

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I also twiddled away at my novel, "The Sum of Things," which is now at 21,500 words, give or take a little. I've finished the revisions to the parts I wrote in 2004, and am back to forging ahead into new territory. I had to revise things for several reasons:

1. I finally worked out the magical system, and had to adjust some things based on it.

2. As I wrote, more of the sociopolitical structure of Kanos and the Eastern Lands came clear, and I had to retroactively incorporate it.

3. I had to differentiate Talin's and Ranna's narrative voices. This was the big one.

Talin seems to think in terms of nature metaphors and similes. He pays attention to the weather, the scenery, the position of the sun, and things like that. He also thinks in religious terms, is fatalistic, and can get extravagant with figurative language -- in his mind, not out loud. Ranna, on the other hand, thinks in terms of games, secrets, and webs of relationships and influence. I can get descriptive in her POV sections, but the imagery is more concrete. There are also a couple of dialect/accent differences between Talin and Ranna that I needed to refine. Ranna is from a region with a residual, distinctive twist on verb tenses -- she's worked to erase that from her speech, but she slips sometimes, or lapses deliberately in certain situations -- whereas Talin uses some word choices and ways of beginning sentences that are peculiar to the middle south of Kanos.

There's also a perspective difference in the ways they relate to other people. For all that she's focused on interpersonal relationships, Ranna has very little compassion -- her reaction to a brewing war is to think that it's a waste and the government is stupid, not to worry about the potential devastation and loss of life. On the other hand, Talin, who holds himself apart, is empathetic and sympathetic. It's an interesting contrast. I wanted to write a practical, ruthless woman, and a sensitive man, even while I forced Ranna into a role where she has to work indirectly and shoved Talin into a traditional warrior role. I like the effects on their characters.

Comments

[alliancesjr.livejournal.com]

If Konoha has televisions, VCRs, and security cameras, one could make the realistic leap to telephones.

One would wonder if ninja numbers residences would be listed at all, though; you'd think that they'd have a special contract with the service company and that the only people who would have their numbers would be ninja administration and whomever the individual ninja would trust with their number.

That makes me wonder, though; Konoha telemarketers probably get hazard pay, because you never know who you're waking up at three in the morning.

[edenfalling]

Well, yes, there are always unlisted numbers... though the central switchboard knows everybody's number. There's usually a ninja guard watching the operators because of that. :-)

Yukiko wanted to find Iruka's number, and he keeps it listed because he's a teacher and need to be accessible. I will see if I can make that clear within the chapter.

[alliancesjr.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right. Teachers would need to be accessible. *completely hadn't thought of that*

[redwolfoz.livejournal.com]

Why would a phone directory list a name and number, but not an address? Why would the number just not be listed at all like standard non-listed or silent phone numbers?

[edenfalling]

The number is listed because sometimes people need to be able to call you. The address is not listed, because then they'd be able to find your house -- it's one thing to let someone have your phone number, but another thing entirely to give them the opportunity to set ambushes, attack your family, etc.

As I said to alliancesjr, a number of ninja do keep their numbers completely unlisted. But some are public figures, and some, like Iruka (who's a teacher and undoubtedly needs to be available to concerned parents) have other reasons for at least letting strangers call them.

[act-of-thought.livejournal.com]

That's a really good idea, it really does make a lot of sense. Of course Ninja would be iffy about whom would see or know their address. :)