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edenfalling

I am starting to feel vaguely like I could maybe one day put words on a page again, which in retrospect has made me realize that I've been in a blue funk on top of general gray malaise for the past week or two. Whoops! I mean, you'd think the sleeping schedule fucked to hell and back and the obsessive reading in a completely unfamiliar fandom would have been major tip-offs, but apparently not. Apparently those symptoms have started to feel normal.

(This is worrying. I rely on contrast to tell me when my brain is temporarily dropping me down a well, so I can deploy emergency countermeasures, but if 'normal' is already a third to half of the way down the well... eurgh.)

Anyway, I have not yet heard back from the doctors' billing office, so I'm going to call again on Monday to ask what's up with that and also try making an appointment even if they don't yet have my billing status figured out.

Because I am really thinking it is time for meds again. *sigh*

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: ithaca, ny
Crossposts: http://edenfalling.livejournal.com/1037861.html

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From:

Meds can suck, but I'm really really glad you're taking the necessary steps, including making the damned appointment with or without insurance.

From:

edenfalling

I think I've mentioned before that my previous meds were Celexa (or generics thereof), which worked pretty well at putting a floor under my bad days. Celexa did also put a ceiling over my really good days -- the overall effect was a sort of leveling/flattening -- but at the time I desperately needed the floor and the ceiling was high enough that it didn't impede general happiness, just the brightest peaks of what would otherwise have been intense joy.

Also it destroyed my alcohol tolerance, but eh. *wry*

Anyway, I will mention that to the nurse practitioner when I see her on September 7, and hopefully we'll be able to find something that helps haul my brain back up from the well to level ground without too many side-effects. *crosses fingers*

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Elizabeth Culmer

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