dear body and brain, what the fuck, please stop

[edenfalling]

So I was going to give blood today. I made sure I had enough sleep, I got a precautionary Covid-19 test, I've been taking my iron supplements regularly, and I had an appointment for 5pm. But I was slightly delayed leaving work (as is often the case), and by the time I parked, and paid at the parking station, and walked into the drive site, one of the staff coming out told me they were really backed up and short-staffed, and because I was 15 minutes late I now counted as a walk-in and therefore they couldn't take me.

I have been having an on-and-off crying jag ever since. I don't even know why! This is an objectively silly thing to be so upset about!

I mean, I got turned away from a drive where I had an appointment in December (they had run out of bags to collect the blood), and I had to cancel last week because I had a mild cold and was worried about Covid (it was not Covid, but still), and it is really hard for me to find drives I can get to because 95% of them are scheduled for days and times when I'm at work, and even when I do manage to grab a slot after my workday finishes, they keep turning me away! Why does the Red Cross even fucking offer late appointment slots if they're not going to supply the drives with enough staff and supplies to let the people who sign up for those slots donate!

I found a slot for Thursday evening next week. I am about 85% sure they're going to turn me away AGAIN. But I will keep trying.

Also I would really like my brain to tell me what the fuck I am sublimating into this crying jag so I could maybe do something to resolve the actual root issue please? I am getting a dehydration headache and my nose is sore from blowing out all the damn ancillary snot.

Comments

[senmut]

I have similar issues. And with the pandemic, the few drives offered on weekends or at night are at the Mall, or on a blood bus, where... I am concerned about people and close spaces.

[edenfalling]

Yeah, some drives are in less than ideal places, when ones takes Covid precautions into account. :(

[branchandroot]

*passes the soft kleenex and the Skratch Labs drinks*

I feel like the pandemic itself is very sufficient explanation, really. We're all a bit acclimated after two years of this BS, but it's still a huge load of stress on a daily basis that very few of us can do anything material about. The littlest thing can bring on a whole avalanche of reaction, because it's still built up there, just waiting.

[edenfalling]

Probably pandemic stress, yeah. And then there's some more proximate stress from my brother's ongoing medical problems, and some friends having a bad time, and church Board of Trustees nonsense, and probably some seasonal depression tossed on top.

Also I need to tell my family I don't think I'm going to be able to move to Minnesota this year either (especially not if my parents are moving! two simultaneous moves AND a job search AND Nick's medical woes is just TOO MUCH) and I really do not want to have that conversation even if it's the only stress source I can actually resolve at the moment. Ugh.