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edenfallingThis is the sequel to "The Way of the Apartment Manager," which can be found in clean draft here on ff.net, or in rough draft with comments here on my livejournal. It also has fanart, which can be found here.
I am not completely happy with the final scene of this chapter, but there's a definite action break between this chapter and the next one, so I couldn't jump back to Sasuke or Yukiko, and I do have to introduce Amane Tetsuko at some point, so... *shrug* I am trying very hard to hook Eiji's scenes into the rest of the story, but I'm never sure how well that's working.
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The Guardian in Spite of Herself: Chapter 8
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All Sasuke's shirts had the Uchiha crest on the backs -- it hadn't occurred to him that the symbol might be a problem. "And you said I was stupid for wearing orange," Naruto muttered. Sasuke ignored him.
He refused to borrow Naruto's shirts, which meant they had to disguise the crest somehow.
Naruto looked critically at the red and white fan symbol. "It's not dyed -- it's that ironed-on stuff -- so we could pick it off. But that takes too much time, so either you cut it out or wear your shirt inside-out. There aren't any tags, and inside-out seams aren't any weirder than some stuff I've seen in Yukiko-neechan's cousin's shop. Of course, cut-out pieces could be kind of cool -- we could say you got mauled by a rabid wolf, or that giant centipede we saw -- except then we'd have to cut you up so it looked right..."
Sasuke yanked the shirt away from Naruto and put it on inside-out. "There. Let's go."
"Yeah, yeah, okay. But listen -- you have to agree with whatever I say, or the guard will catch us!" Naruto taped a square of gauze over his left cheek and frowned in thought. "Um... your name's Harada Ichiro and I'm Yamada Shinji, and we're from Nagarehiya -- that's a big town up north on the trade road. We're running away from home so we can learn to be ninja. We'll be cousins; our moms are sisters. Got it?"
"Whatever."
"Bastard," Naruto said, but he didn't sound serious. "Now come on. We'll sneak in from the north, but we'll sneak really badly, like we don't know anything, so the guard will catch us fast." He turned away from the way station and headed back into the woods.
After a second, Sasuke followed.
Sneaking badly was both harder and easier than Sasuke expected -- easier, because Naruto was suspiciously good at it, and harder, because it went against all his training. Shinobi were supposed to be silent. They weren't supposed to deliberately step on twigs and stir up dry leaves, and then freeze for long seconds as if waiting to see if anyone had noticed. That was what civilians did.
Of course, they were pretending to be civilians, but still. It was demeaning to act like an idiot and pretend he didn't know better. Sasuke gritted his teeth and brushed against some thin, whippy branches; they swished and rustled as they snapped back into place. Naruto turned and gave him a thumbs-up. Sasuke dug his fingernails into his palms, making the popped blisters scream.
They made it back nearly to the edge of the woods before the guard -- a lanky man wearing a bandana over his hair -- jumped down from a tree and held out his hands. "Nice try, kids," he said around the senbon clamped between his teeth. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Sasuke winced. Naruto, on the other hand, didn't seem even a little upset or embarrassed; he jumped up, dusted off his knees, and grinned up at the guard. "Hey, hey, you're a ninja! That's so cool! I'm Shinji and that's Ichiro -- we're from Nagarehiya and we're going to Konoha so we can learn to be ninja too! Are we getting close, ninja-san?"
The guard looked them over critically. Sasuke held his breath. Two boys, both streaked with dirt and carrying large traveling packs, shouldn't be too suspicious. Even his bandaged hands, and the bruises and scratches left from their fights, should only lend weight to the story.
"What the hell happened to your face, kid?" the guard asked.
Naruto raised a hand to the bandage over his left cheek. "This? Oh, Ichiro's a jerk and he cut me when we were practicing -- see, I've got scratches all over my face!" He pointed to the whisker marks on his right cheek; he seemed to have dug his nails into them to make them more ragged and fresh. "He's better than me, but I bet if we get real training, I'll kick his butt. Hey, hey, ninja-san, so are we close to Konoha? Will they let us be ninja?"
The guard shrugged. "We might, we might not, but it can't hurt to try. Come on into the way station, kids; you'll have to stay here while I tell people who you are and what you're doing." He gave them a long, considering look, and then grinned around his senbon. "Do your parents know where you are?"
Sasuke winced again, and Naruto looked vaguely ashamed. "Um..." he said.
"You'll have to get their permission," the guard said. "I like you -- you have guts, coming all this way alone -- so I hope things work out for you. I'm Shiranui Genma, by the way. Welcome to Konoha station north."
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The caravan reached the way station around four in the afternoon. They might well have arrived earlier, but Kurenai had swung well to the northwest to avoid an infestation of giant centipedes; the bugs weren't especially dangerous, but they tended to spook civilians, and they were venomous. While the traders unloaded their mules and checked their wagons, Kurenai drew aside the station guard -- a chuunin about her age, with a bandana over his hair and a senbon held lazily in his mouth -- and reported.
Yukiko nodded to herself. The centipedes would be back in the Forest of Death or dead within the week.
"You've done guard duty on the stations, right?" she murmured to Seichi as she stowed her pack of cloth samples in one of the two communal wagons.
"Yes. Why?"
"Just making sure you're not surprised by anything. There aren't many other travelers, so we can grab a four-bed room if you'd like."
"Wasteful." He winked at her, a quick flash of blue ice. "Two beds is already one more than we'll need, Yuki-chan."
He was worse than Kakashi, Yukiko decided. And he was going to explain himself tonight, or she'd take a page from Naruto's book and do something drastic. Orange paint sounded like a good starting point.
They bought a cheap but filling dinner -- the family who currently ran the station for Konoha made yakisoba to die for; she'd have to see if she could get their recipe for Yura -- and headed up to their room. Seichi opened the door with a courtly flourish, subtly scanning the room for lurkers and traps, and waved Yukiko inside. The ceiling slanted downward from the inner wall, and a dormer window separated the two beds, directly opposite the door. A dresser stood against the left wall, facing a battered armchair on the right. Yukiko dropped her pack onto the left-hand bed and sat down.
Seichi latched the door, dropped the wooden bar into its hooks, and turned to face her, warmth draining from his eyes. "It's nice and quiet in here," he said pointedly.
Yukiko took the hint and let her head droop forward, as if she were too tired to sit straight; her loose hair neatly concealed her hands. She sorted through a handful of potential illusions and chose two. Five seals: "Somebody else's problem," Hoshi-sensei's elegant distraction genjutsu. Seven seals: "Whisper no jutsu. There," she said, looking up and pushing her hair aside. "I put up a distraction, and a sound distortion underneath that, so nobody can make out exactly what we're saying even if they're suspicious enough to tear through the distraction. Silence is too conspicuous."
Seichi conceded the point with a nod and began to turn down the covers on the right-hand bed. Yukiko folded her arms and glared at him. "So. What the hell is up with you? You've been flipping back and forth from iceman to pervert, and I'm getting whiplash trying to keep up. If you don't explain yourself, or stop that, we're going to have problems working together."
Seichi sat cross-legged on his bed and slipped a deck of cards from his coat pocket. He shuffled them several times, snapping the cards against each other in sharp waterfalls of sound, and then fanned them out, face-up, toward Yukiko. When he looked up, his eyes were tired.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I know I bother people, but I can't stop doing that. The... iceman and the pervert -- interesting names, by the way -- are my tools. I work covert ops. I can't ever slip out of character. I have to be my persona." He sighed and collapsed the deck, leaving the ace of spades on top. "You met the Anbu assassin first. Then you met Tsukene Seichi, the cover for this mission." He drew the next card: ace of hearts. "Until now, you haven't met me." Joker.
Yukiko blinked. "Huh?"
"The medic-nin tell me I compartmentalize," Seichi said, shuffling the three cards back into the deck. "Think of it like this: if you ask me about the mission, unless I'm paying close attention, that calls out the assassin, because he deals with missions. If I'm talking about things Tsukene would be interested in, that brings out everything about him, including the, um, strong approach toward women. I'm sorry for that, by the way, but it's a good way to make people underestimate him, and they remember his attitude instead of other details that are harder to change."
He shrugged, as cards cascaded in a flashing arc from hand to hand. "You wouldn't normally see much of me -- I have to be Tsukene in public, and I tend to default to the assassin on missions. But if I'm making you that uncomfortable, I can keep the assassin facedown until it's time to plan the actual op."
Yukiko blinked again, unfolding her arms and leaning back against the wall. "Huh. You know, that can't be healthy."
"So the medic-nin say." Seichi shrugged. "It works for now. If I quit Anbu, I may think about changing, but I have a few years left before I'll fail the psych tests -- I may not be civilian stable, but I'm not a mission liability -- and I may well die before it becomes an issue. The assassin doesn't have much sense of self-preservation." He began dealing an elaborate pattern on his bed, shaped like a clock: four cards for each hour and four more in the center. He turned up the top card in the middle -- three of clubs -- and slid it under the three o'clock pile. "This is clock solitaire, by the way," he said, turning up a jack and moving it to eleven o'clock. "I'll teach you, if you don't already know it. Anyway, Yukiko-san, will you be able to deal with the assassin, or should I make the effort to shunt him aside?"
Yukiko pressed the back of her hand against her forehead, missing the cool weight of the metal protector, and tried to think. She could deal with the assassin, and with Tsukene the pervert, but...
She frowned. Huh. That question was a challenge, phrased to make her pick the assassin rather than seem scared or inflexible. So, did Seichi not want to be himself? That made him the coward.
Yukiko groaned mentally. Somewhere, somehow, the universe was laughing at her -- why did anyone think she was qualified to handle the problem cases? Still. Seichi was a Fuuma. If she didn't try to help him, even if all she could do was deliver a judicious kick in the ass, Ame would never forgive her.
"The assassin can handle all the mission details," she said, pointing at Seichi, "but when we're alone I want to talk to you, not any half-people or masks. For one thing, I'm taking you up on that offer to teach me card games, but there's no way on earth I'm learning from that Tsukene pervert. Clear?"
Seichi stared blankly at his half-finished game for several seconds, as if he didn't quite understand her answer. Then he flipped over all the facedown cards, neatly and precisely, and swept the deck into a single pile. "As you wish. We'll start with shuffling; please take these and demonstrate for me, so I can see what we have to work with." He waved her toward his bed.
Yukiko picked up the cards and smiled.
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Kakashi saved his breath once they took to the trees; Naga was grateful. She focused on the rough burn of bark under her hands, the minute scrape and slide as her sandals hit branches and trunks, and the pleasant burn of chakra flowing smoothly from limb to limb. The sky was blue in flashes through the leaves, and the warm, dusty smell of summer swirled around her.
Naga tuned out the residual ache of Itachi's jutsu and sank into the no-mind of movement. She ceased to exist; there was only the rich, bottomless life of the forest, the warmth of sunlight, and the rush of wind.
When Kakashi stopped in mid-afternoon, she found herself crouched on a branch, two kunai in her left hand and her right hand drawn back for an extension, before she realized that there was no threat.
"Nice reflexes," Kakashi said dryly, "but I don't think lunch needs killing."
"Bastard," Naga grumbled as she swung over to join him on a wide branch that overlooked a tiny, sunlit clearing. The jounin pulled an energy bar from his pack. Naga followed suit, scowling at her mother's choice in flavors. "Why does she always pick the date-bars? I like the meat-paste ones better."
"There are fewer preservatives in the fruit bars, and we can always hunt if we need protein. It's a bit harder to find date bars in the wild," Kakashi said, his face hidden behind his canteen. When he lowered the canvas-covered bottle, his mask was already back up. Naga flicked her fingers at him; he ostentatiously failed to notice. "So. Before they dropped out of communication, the two Uchiha closest to your campsite were in Rain Country and northern Fire Country. Which direction did Itachi come from?"
Naga took a bite of the date-bar and pummeled her memory. "West. He was across the stream from us -- you know the one that runs along the southern third of the Grass Country border? We'd camped on the east bank in case a Grass-nin border patrol found us and got touchy."
"Sensible of you," Kakashi conceded. "Itachi probably circled through Grass Country specifically to drag border and jurisdiction issues into any pursuit attempt. Therefore, he did have backup plans -- that's useful to know, but not very helpful in backtracking his path or guessing his current direction of travel."
"We'll reach the border the day after tomorrow. Bet the Grass-nin are already tracking," Naga said. Kafunnokaze's team ran border patrols, and he was just stupidly noble enough to take an attack on her and Tsukime as a personal insult. Unless he was ordered to the other side of the country, he'd be tracking that Uchiha bastard, and probably dragging his team along with him.
Kakashi shrugged. "They might have, they might not have; you never can tell with foreign shinobi. We don't have a full alliance with Hidden Grass, just a peace treaty and a series of precedents for mutual aid. Precedents are dangerously fragile compared to alliances, and even alliances are questionable; there's a lot of bad blood left over from the great wars."
Naga twitched her shoulder; her pack strap pulled on the mesh fabric of her shirt. "Maybe they won't do it officially, but nobody likes a really dangerous missing-nin pulling shit inside their borders. You lose face. The question's whether they'll follow him past the border."
"Ah, my little Naga-chan is growing up into a political analyst!" Kakashi exclaimed, his eye crinkling into that incredibly annoying crescent shape. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Shut up."
Kakashi threw back his shoulders and raised an arm in a disturbingly accurate imitation of Maito Gai's 'declaration' pose. "Just think, one day you may become an official ambassador between villages! To think that one of my students could rise so high! Youth and determination will carry you to fresh heights!" He collapsed back into his habitual slouch and stared mournfully at her. "You'll remember me in my decrepit old age, won't you, Naga-chan? You'll look after your teacher when his youth deserts him, right?" His voice was sweet as honey, laced with foxglove.
"Jerk. And don't do that -- one green idiot's more than enough for any village." Even if Kakashi made it to retirement age, she couldn't picture him helpless. The mental image refused to cohere.
"Young ninja these days have no respect for their elders," Kakashi said, his eye drooping in mock-sorrow. "I suppose I'll have to drill some manners into you." He clapped his hands. "Break's over; get moving. We need to make as much time today as possible. Tomorrow we stick to the ground, to give my pack a chance to pick up Itachi's scent."
Five minutes later, there was no sign that humans had ever passed through.
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"Anata, I notice that you're sending the Crane out on the coastal route, but Takeshi mentioned that he'd be staying in Tengai," Tetsuko announced halfway through dinner, as she took a second helping of rice. "Obviously, you want him here for something important, but you haven't informed me of any particularly important meetings or deals. Therefore, you're hiding something from me. When I find out what that is, I'll most likely be very angry with you. Please pass the tuna."
Eiji choked on a water chestnut. Tetsuko smiled.
"I told you so," Ginji said from the doorway. Eiji coughed and tried to order Ginji to silence with his eyes alone. It was ultimately futile -- once Tetsuko knew a secret existed, she always, inevitably, learned what it was -- but if he could buy a little time, if he could present her a firm alliance with Akatsuki when she came to confront him, she might forgive him a bit faster.
Ginji raised a hand to his face, as if covering a yawn; his fingers brushed his forehead protector and his lips. I'm shinobi; I keep my employer's secrets, that gesture said. Eiji wondered whether he should feel relieved or sad.
"You might have told him not to bother keeping secrets in the first place; you know I always find out," Tetsuko said as Ginji eased into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of rice from the table. "Take some tuna and vegetables, Ginji; you have to set a good example for Mitsu-chan. And take off your vest. This is a family dinner, and I know you have at least one of your minions on guard duty."
"No guard is perfect--" Ginji began.
Tetsuko's eyes narrowed. "Ginji. Vest. Off."
Ginji obeyed, and retreated to lean against the doorframe where he could watch the entire room. Tetsuko, having won her main point, didn't press him to sit at the table.
"Mommy? Why are you going to be angry at Daddy? Are you going to fight?" Mitsuko asked, fiddling nervously with her chopsticks.
"No, dear," Tetsuko said, reaching across the table to tap her daughter's nose. "You know how your father and I like to play puzzle games? Well, this time I think he's chosen the wrong sort of secret to keep; that's why I'm annoyed. But he and my brother are having such fun with this one that I won't make them tell me the secret right now -- I'll find it out for myself."
"Oh," said Mitsuko, with a greatly enlightened air. "That's okay, then. Daddy and I are keeping a secret from you, too, but you'll find out soon, and it's a good secret." A thought visibly struck her, and she wrinkled her nose. "How do you know which secrets are good and which are bad?"
"Good secrets don't hurt people; bad secrets do. The tricky part is when a secret can help and hurt someone at the same time," Eiji said. "If you have a secret like that, Mitsu-chan, come ask me or your mother what to do."
Tetsuko shot Eiji a sharp look. He shrugged, and waved a chopstick over the table. "Change of subject!" he declaimed. "Ginji tells me there's been a disturbance in Hidden Leaf -- somebody or something killed most of the Uchiha clan -- and we'll most likely have several Cloud-nin traveling through Tengai over the next few weeks, searching for survivors who might be in Sky Country. We're sending most of the security forces out with the ships -- three shipped out on the Trailing Mist today -- but I can't work out itineraries and routes until I know what's in our warehouses, and what orders we have. How soon can you pull that information together?"
Tetsuko's forehead wrinkled in thought and she tapped one chopstick on the rim of her rice bowl. "Hmmm. Mmmm. I had a rough schedule worked out for clearing the last of the summer goods, but if you're sending all the ships at once... Hmmm. Not tomorrow, but the next morning, if you want it organized. By destination or by type of goods?"
"Either will work. Saving our necks is a bit more important than maximizing profits. On that note, you'll have a personal guard shadowing you for the next month or so; Ginji talked me into playing daimyo this afternoon."
"Understood. And don't think I don't realize you're trying to distract me, Eiji."
Eiji clasped his hands and raised one eyebrow to exaggerated heights. "Yes, but is it working?"
Tetsuko shook her head, but she was smiling. "Some days I swear you never grew up," she said fondly.
Eiji winked at Mitsuko, and then adopted a deep, portentous tone. "No! You have discovered my final secret! I am undone!" He slumped abjectly in his chair, and then pointed across the table at his wife. "Fiend! You have destroyed me, and now, alas, I must commit honorable seppuku to cleanse the dishonor of being so easily seen through." He pretended to disembowel himself with one of his chopsticks and collapsed over his empty bowl.
Mitsuko giggled and poked at him with a sauce-covered chopstick. "Daddy, you're weird."
"That he is," Tetsuko agreed. "But think how boring life would be if he didn't play silly games."
"He also managed to stab himself in the ribs instead of his abdomen," Ginji said, dryly, as he deposited his bowl and chopsticks in the sink and sat on the counter. "Mitsu-chan, your father has a lot of good qualities, but you should never let him get his hands on a knife. Bad things tend to happen."
"I know! This morning, when we were---" Mitsuko clapped her hands over her mouth, dropping her chopsticks to the floor. "I almost told a secret!"
Eiji flushed, remembering his rather unsightly attempts to show Mitsuko how to chop vegetables. Rather than taking the morning off, as he'd offered, Akiko had pressed her lips together and ordered him out of the kitchen when she'd arrived. It was probably just as well; the housekeeper had showed Mitsuko how to use the stove, and had made sure that no signs of experimentation crept into the soup and tipped Tetsuko off to Eiji and Mitsuko's culinary adventures.
Tetsuko sent a speculative look at Eiji as she stood to clear the table. "Do I want to know?"
"No. You don't," Eiji said firmly, crouching to pick up Mitsuko's chopsticks. "This secret won't hurt anyone, and telling it would definitely be a bad idea."
Tetsuko turned to Ginji and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"
"Don't ask me; Eiji's my employer," Ginji said, leaning away from his sister.
"And I'm your twin," Tetsuko said. "Traitor." She tapped his nose lightly with a serving spoon. Ginji shrugged, but a ghost-smile flickered over his face for a moment.
Eiji dumped the chopsticks into the sink, kissed Tetsuko's cheek, and then swung Mitsuko into his arms. "I'll let you two thrash out which of Ginji's obligations takes precedence. Meanwhile, Mitsu-chan and I will wash up and get some sleep."
"Tell me the story about Shinju-hime!" Mitsuko said as Eiji limped through the main room toward the stairs. "I want to hear what happened after she met the iron dragon, the onmyouji, and the thunder horse. You said they had lots of adventures and lived happily ever after, but I want to know about the adventures."
"Adventures? You want adventures? Then let me tell you about the time the princess and her three guardians had to hide from an army of evil shinobi. It was near the end of summer, just like now, and they had traveled west from the great mountains until they reached the sea. The princess loved to play in the waves..." Eiji began. Mitsuko beamed up at him, and he felt a sliver of ice pierce his heart.
This was what he had to protect. This was what the hidden villages destroyed, whether they meant to or not. This was what he stood to lose if he or anyone in Tengai slipped in the next month.
Kami help them all if he couldn't make everything work out.
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End of Chapter Eight
Back to chapter 7
Continue to chapter 9
Read the clean version here on ff.net. (Trust me, you want to read the clean version. Think of the lj version as what I'd send to beta-readers if this were Harry Potter fanfic.)
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In other news, I switched my lightweight summer blanket for my comforter this weekend; the seasons are changing and nights are getting chilly. I also swapped shower curtains, because the one in use had mildew down both ends. It's currently soaking in a bucket of bleach-laced water, and I will scrub the daylights out of it this evening. I really ought to switch shower curtains every three months or so, but I'm lazy and tend to forget.
I am not completely happy with the final scene of this chapter, but there's a definite action break between this chapter and the next one, so I couldn't jump back to Sasuke or Yukiko, and I do have to introduce Amane Tetsuko at some point, so... *shrug* I am trying very hard to hook Eiji's scenes into the rest of the story, but I'm never sure how well that's working.
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The Guardian in Spite of Herself: Chapter 8
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All Sasuke's shirts had the Uchiha crest on the backs -- it hadn't occurred to him that the symbol might be a problem. "And you said I was stupid for wearing orange," Naruto muttered. Sasuke ignored him.
He refused to borrow Naruto's shirts, which meant they had to disguise the crest somehow.
Naruto looked critically at the red and white fan symbol. "It's not dyed -- it's that ironed-on stuff -- so we could pick it off. But that takes too much time, so either you cut it out or wear your shirt inside-out. There aren't any tags, and inside-out seams aren't any weirder than some stuff I've seen in Yukiko-neechan's cousin's shop. Of course, cut-out pieces could be kind of cool -- we could say you got mauled by a rabid wolf, or that giant centipede we saw -- except then we'd have to cut you up so it looked right..."
Sasuke yanked the shirt away from Naruto and put it on inside-out. "There. Let's go."
"Yeah, yeah, okay. But listen -- you have to agree with whatever I say, or the guard will catch us!" Naruto taped a square of gauze over his left cheek and frowned in thought. "Um... your name's Harada Ichiro and I'm Yamada Shinji, and we're from Nagarehiya -- that's a big town up north on the trade road. We're running away from home so we can learn to be ninja. We'll be cousins; our moms are sisters. Got it?"
"Whatever."
"Bastard," Naruto said, but he didn't sound serious. "Now come on. We'll sneak in from the north, but we'll sneak really badly, like we don't know anything, so the guard will catch us fast." He turned away from the way station and headed back into the woods.
After a second, Sasuke followed.
Sneaking badly was both harder and easier than Sasuke expected -- easier, because Naruto was suspiciously good at it, and harder, because it went against all his training. Shinobi were supposed to be silent. They weren't supposed to deliberately step on twigs and stir up dry leaves, and then freeze for long seconds as if waiting to see if anyone had noticed. That was what civilians did.
Of course, they were pretending to be civilians, but still. It was demeaning to act like an idiot and pretend he didn't know better. Sasuke gritted his teeth and brushed against some thin, whippy branches; they swished and rustled as they snapped back into place. Naruto turned and gave him a thumbs-up. Sasuke dug his fingernails into his palms, making the popped blisters scream.
They made it back nearly to the edge of the woods before the guard -- a lanky man wearing a bandana over his hair -- jumped down from a tree and held out his hands. "Nice try, kids," he said around the senbon clamped between his teeth. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
Sasuke winced. Naruto, on the other hand, didn't seem even a little upset or embarrassed; he jumped up, dusted off his knees, and grinned up at the guard. "Hey, hey, you're a ninja! That's so cool! I'm Shinji and that's Ichiro -- we're from Nagarehiya and we're going to Konoha so we can learn to be ninja too! Are we getting close, ninja-san?"
The guard looked them over critically. Sasuke held his breath. Two boys, both streaked with dirt and carrying large traveling packs, shouldn't be too suspicious. Even his bandaged hands, and the bruises and scratches left from their fights, should only lend weight to the story.
"What the hell happened to your face, kid?" the guard asked.
Naruto raised a hand to the bandage over his left cheek. "This? Oh, Ichiro's a jerk and he cut me when we were practicing -- see, I've got scratches all over my face!" He pointed to the whisker marks on his right cheek; he seemed to have dug his nails into them to make them more ragged and fresh. "He's better than me, but I bet if we get real training, I'll kick his butt. Hey, hey, ninja-san, so are we close to Konoha? Will they let us be ninja?"
The guard shrugged. "We might, we might not, but it can't hurt to try. Come on into the way station, kids; you'll have to stay here while I tell people who you are and what you're doing." He gave them a long, considering look, and then grinned around his senbon. "Do your parents know where you are?"
Sasuke winced again, and Naruto looked vaguely ashamed. "Um..." he said.
"You'll have to get their permission," the guard said. "I like you -- you have guts, coming all this way alone -- so I hope things work out for you. I'm Shiranui Genma, by the way. Welcome to Konoha station north."
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The caravan reached the way station around four in the afternoon. They might well have arrived earlier, but Kurenai had swung well to the northwest to avoid an infestation of giant centipedes; the bugs weren't especially dangerous, but they tended to spook civilians, and they were venomous. While the traders unloaded their mules and checked their wagons, Kurenai drew aside the station guard -- a chuunin about her age, with a bandana over his hair and a senbon held lazily in his mouth -- and reported.
Yukiko nodded to herself. The centipedes would be back in the Forest of Death or dead within the week.
"You've done guard duty on the stations, right?" she murmured to Seichi as she stowed her pack of cloth samples in one of the two communal wagons.
"Yes. Why?"
"Just making sure you're not surprised by anything. There aren't many other travelers, so we can grab a four-bed room if you'd like."
"Wasteful." He winked at her, a quick flash of blue ice. "Two beds is already one more than we'll need, Yuki-chan."
He was worse than Kakashi, Yukiko decided. And he was going to explain himself tonight, or she'd take a page from Naruto's book and do something drastic. Orange paint sounded like a good starting point.
They bought a cheap but filling dinner -- the family who currently ran the station for Konoha made yakisoba to die for; she'd have to see if she could get their recipe for Yura -- and headed up to their room. Seichi opened the door with a courtly flourish, subtly scanning the room for lurkers and traps, and waved Yukiko inside. The ceiling slanted downward from the inner wall, and a dormer window separated the two beds, directly opposite the door. A dresser stood against the left wall, facing a battered armchair on the right. Yukiko dropped her pack onto the left-hand bed and sat down.
Seichi latched the door, dropped the wooden bar into its hooks, and turned to face her, warmth draining from his eyes. "It's nice and quiet in here," he said pointedly.
Yukiko took the hint and let her head droop forward, as if she were too tired to sit straight; her loose hair neatly concealed her hands. She sorted through a handful of potential illusions and chose two. Five seals: "Somebody else's problem," Hoshi-sensei's elegant distraction genjutsu. Seven seals: "Whisper no jutsu. There," she said, looking up and pushing her hair aside. "I put up a distraction, and a sound distortion underneath that, so nobody can make out exactly what we're saying even if they're suspicious enough to tear through the distraction. Silence is too conspicuous."
Seichi conceded the point with a nod and began to turn down the covers on the right-hand bed. Yukiko folded her arms and glared at him. "So. What the hell is up with you? You've been flipping back and forth from iceman to pervert, and I'm getting whiplash trying to keep up. If you don't explain yourself, or stop that, we're going to have problems working together."
Seichi sat cross-legged on his bed and slipped a deck of cards from his coat pocket. He shuffled them several times, snapping the cards against each other in sharp waterfalls of sound, and then fanned them out, face-up, toward Yukiko. When he looked up, his eyes were tired.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I know I bother people, but I can't stop doing that. The... iceman and the pervert -- interesting names, by the way -- are my tools. I work covert ops. I can't ever slip out of character. I have to be my persona." He sighed and collapsed the deck, leaving the ace of spades on top. "You met the Anbu assassin first. Then you met Tsukene Seichi, the cover for this mission." He drew the next card: ace of hearts. "Until now, you haven't met me." Joker.
Yukiko blinked. "Huh?"
"The medic-nin tell me I compartmentalize," Seichi said, shuffling the three cards back into the deck. "Think of it like this: if you ask me about the mission, unless I'm paying close attention, that calls out the assassin, because he deals with missions. If I'm talking about things Tsukene would be interested in, that brings out everything about him, including the, um, strong approach toward women. I'm sorry for that, by the way, but it's a good way to make people underestimate him, and they remember his attitude instead of other details that are harder to change."
He shrugged, as cards cascaded in a flashing arc from hand to hand. "You wouldn't normally see much of me -- I have to be Tsukene in public, and I tend to default to the assassin on missions. But if I'm making you that uncomfortable, I can keep the assassin facedown until it's time to plan the actual op."
Yukiko blinked again, unfolding her arms and leaning back against the wall. "Huh. You know, that can't be healthy."
"So the medic-nin say." Seichi shrugged. "It works for now. If I quit Anbu, I may think about changing, but I have a few years left before I'll fail the psych tests -- I may not be civilian stable, but I'm not a mission liability -- and I may well die before it becomes an issue. The assassin doesn't have much sense of self-preservation." He began dealing an elaborate pattern on his bed, shaped like a clock: four cards for each hour and four more in the center. He turned up the top card in the middle -- three of clubs -- and slid it under the three o'clock pile. "This is clock solitaire, by the way," he said, turning up a jack and moving it to eleven o'clock. "I'll teach you, if you don't already know it. Anyway, Yukiko-san, will you be able to deal with the assassin, or should I make the effort to shunt him aside?"
Yukiko pressed the back of her hand against her forehead, missing the cool weight of the metal protector, and tried to think. She could deal with the assassin, and with Tsukene the pervert, but...
She frowned. Huh. That question was a challenge, phrased to make her pick the assassin rather than seem scared or inflexible. So, did Seichi not want to be himself? That made him the coward.
Yukiko groaned mentally. Somewhere, somehow, the universe was laughing at her -- why did anyone think she was qualified to handle the problem cases? Still. Seichi was a Fuuma. If she didn't try to help him, even if all she could do was deliver a judicious kick in the ass, Ame would never forgive her.
"The assassin can handle all the mission details," she said, pointing at Seichi, "but when we're alone I want to talk to you, not any half-people or masks. For one thing, I'm taking you up on that offer to teach me card games, but there's no way on earth I'm learning from that Tsukene pervert. Clear?"
Seichi stared blankly at his half-finished game for several seconds, as if he didn't quite understand her answer. Then he flipped over all the facedown cards, neatly and precisely, and swept the deck into a single pile. "As you wish. We'll start with shuffling; please take these and demonstrate for me, so I can see what we have to work with." He waved her toward his bed.
Yukiko picked up the cards and smiled.
---------------------------------------------
Kakashi saved his breath once they took to the trees; Naga was grateful. She focused on the rough burn of bark under her hands, the minute scrape and slide as her sandals hit branches and trunks, and the pleasant burn of chakra flowing smoothly from limb to limb. The sky was blue in flashes through the leaves, and the warm, dusty smell of summer swirled around her.
Naga tuned out the residual ache of Itachi's jutsu and sank into the no-mind of movement. She ceased to exist; there was only the rich, bottomless life of the forest, the warmth of sunlight, and the rush of wind.
When Kakashi stopped in mid-afternoon, she found herself crouched on a branch, two kunai in her left hand and her right hand drawn back for an extension, before she realized that there was no threat.
"Nice reflexes," Kakashi said dryly, "but I don't think lunch needs killing."
"Bastard," Naga grumbled as she swung over to join him on a wide branch that overlooked a tiny, sunlit clearing. The jounin pulled an energy bar from his pack. Naga followed suit, scowling at her mother's choice in flavors. "Why does she always pick the date-bars? I like the meat-paste ones better."
"There are fewer preservatives in the fruit bars, and we can always hunt if we need protein. It's a bit harder to find date bars in the wild," Kakashi said, his face hidden behind his canteen. When he lowered the canvas-covered bottle, his mask was already back up. Naga flicked her fingers at him; he ostentatiously failed to notice. "So. Before they dropped out of communication, the two Uchiha closest to your campsite were in Rain Country and northern Fire Country. Which direction did Itachi come from?"
Naga took a bite of the date-bar and pummeled her memory. "West. He was across the stream from us -- you know the one that runs along the southern third of the Grass Country border? We'd camped on the east bank in case a Grass-nin border patrol found us and got touchy."
"Sensible of you," Kakashi conceded. "Itachi probably circled through Grass Country specifically to drag border and jurisdiction issues into any pursuit attempt. Therefore, he did have backup plans -- that's useful to know, but not very helpful in backtracking his path or guessing his current direction of travel."
"We'll reach the border the day after tomorrow. Bet the Grass-nin are already tracking," Naga said. Kafunnokaze's team ran border patrols, and he was just stupidly noble enough to take an attack on her and Tsukime as a personal insult. Unless he was ordered to the other side of the country, he'd be tracking that Uchiha bastard, and probably dragging his team along with him.
Kakashi shrugged. "They might have, they might not have; you never can tell with foreign shinobi. We don't have a full alliance with Hidden Grass, just a peace treaty and a series of precedents for mutual aid. Precedents are dangerously fragile compared to alliances, and even alliances are questionable; there's a lot of bad blood left over from the great wars."
Naga twitched her shoulder; her pack strap pulled on the mesh fabric of her shirt. "Maybe they won't do it officially, but nobody likes a really dangerous missing-nin pulling shit inside their borders. You lose face. The question's whether they'll follow him past the border."
"Ah, my little Naga-chan is growing up into a political analyst!" Kakashi exclaimed, his eye crinkling into that incredibly annoying crescent shape. "I'm so proud of you!"
"Shut up."
Kakashi threw back his shoulders and raised an arm in a disturbingly accurate imitation of Maito Gai's 'declaration' pose. "Just think, one day you may become an official ambassador between villages! To think that one of my students could rise so high! Youth and determination will carry you to fresh heights!" He collapsed back into his habitual slouch and stared mournfully at her. "You'll remember me in my decrepit old age, won't you, Naga-chan? You'll look after your teacher when his youth deserts him, right?" His voice was sweet as honey, laced with foxglove.
"Jerk. And don't do that -- one green idiot's more than enough for any village." Even if Kakashi made it to retirement age, she couldn't picture him helpless. The mental image refused to cohere.
"Young ninja these days have no respect for their elders," Kakashi said, his eye drooping in mock-sorrow. "I suppose I'll have to drill some manners into you." He clapped his hands. "Break's over; get moving. We need to make as much time today as possible. Tomorrow we stick to the ground, to give my pack a chance to pick up Itachi's scent."
Five minutes later, there was no sign that humans had ever passed through.
---------------------------------------------
"Anata, I notice that you're sending the Crane out on the coastal route, but Takeshi mentioned that he'd be staying in Tengai," Tetsuko announced halfway through dinner, as she took a second helping of rice. "Obviously, you want him here for something important, but you haven't informed me of any particularly important meetings or deals. Therefore, you're hiding something from me. When I find out what that is, I'll most likely be very angry with you. Please pass the tuna."
Eiji choked on a water chestnut. Tetsuko smiled.
"I told you so," Ginji said from the doorway. Eiji coughed and tried to order Ginji to silence with his eyes alone. It was ultimately futile -- once Tetsuko knew a secret existed, she always, inevitably, learned what it was -- but if he could buy a little time, if he could present her a firm alliance with Akatsuki when she came to confront him, she might forgive him a bit faster.
Ginji raised a hand to his face, as if covering a yawn; his fingers brushed his forehead protector and his lips. I'm shinobi; I keep my employer's secrets, that gesture said. Eiji wondered whether he should feel relieved or sad.
"You might have told him not to bother keeping secrets in the first place; you know I always find out," Tetsuko said as Ginji eased into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of rice from the table. "Take some tuna and vegetables, Ginji; you have to set a good example for Mitsu-chan. And take off your vest. This is a family dinner, and I know you have at least one of your minions on guard duty."
"No guard is perfect--" Ginji began.
Tetsuko's eyes narrowed. "Ginji. Vest. Off."
Ginji obeyed, and retreated to lean against the doorframe where he could watch the entire room. Tetsuko, having won her main point, didn't press him to sit at the table.
"Mommy? Why are you going to be angry at Daddy? Are you going to fight?" Mitsuko asked, fiddling nervously with her chopsticks.
"No, dear," Tetsuko said, reaching across the table to tap her daughter's nose. "You know how your father and I like to play puzzle games? Well, this time I think he's chosen the wrong sort of secret to keep; that's why I'm annoyed. But he and my brother are having such fun with this one that I won't make them tell me the secret right now -- I'll find it out for myself."
"Oh," said Mitsuko, with a greatly enlightened air. "That's okay, then. Daddy and I are keeping a secret from you, too, but you'll find out soon, and it's a good secret." A thought visibly struck her, and she wrinkled her nose. "How do you know which secrets are good and which are bad?"
"Good secrets don't hurt people; bad secrets do. The tricky part is when a secret can help and hurt someone at the same time," Eiji said. "If you have a secret like that, Mitsu-chan, come ask me or your mother what to do."
Tetsuko shot Eiji a sharp look. He shrugged, and waved a chopstick over the table. "Change of subject!" he declaimed. "Ginji tells me there's been a disturbance in Hidden Leaf -- somebody or something killed most of the Uchiha clan -- and we'll most likely have several Cloud-nin traveling through Tengai over the next few weeks, searching for survivors who might be in Sky Country. We're sending most of the security forces out with the ships -- three shipped out on the Trailing Mist today -- but I can't work out itineraries and routes until I know what's in our warehouses, and what orders we have. How soon can you pull that information together?"
Tetsuko's forehead wrinkled in thought and she tapped one chopstick on the rim of her rice bowl. "Hmmm. Mmmm. I had a rough schedule worked out for clearing the last of the summer goods, but if you're sending all the ships at once... Hmmm. Not tomorrow, but the next morning, if you want it organized. By destination or by type of goods?"
"Either will work. Saving our necks is a bit more important than maximizing profits. On that note, you'll have a personal guard shadowing you for the next month or so; Ginji talked me into playing daimyo this afternoon."
"Understood. And don't think I don't realize you're trying to distract me, Eiji."
Eiji clasped his hands and raised one eyebrow to exaggerated heights. "Yes, but is it working?"
Tetsuko shook her head, but she was smiling. "Some days I swear you never grew up," she said fondly.
Eiji winked at Mitsuko, and then adopted a deep, portentous tone. "No! You have discovered my final secret! I am undone!" He slumped abjectly in his chair, and then pointed across the table at his wife. "Fiend! You have destroyed me, and now, alas, I must commit honorable seppuku to cleanse the dishonor of being so easily seen through." He pretended to disembowel himself with one of his chopsticks and collapsed over his empty bowl.
Mitsuko giggled and poked at him with a sauce-covered chopstick. "Daddy, you're weird."
"That he is," Tetsuko agreed. "But think how boring life would be if he didn't play silly games."
"He also managed to stab himself in the ribs instead of his abdomen," Ginji said, dryly, as he deposited his bowl and chopsticks in the sink and sat on the counter. "Mitsu-chan, your father has a lot of good qualities, but you should never let him get his hands on a knife. Bad things tend to happen."
"I know! This morning, when we were---" Mitsuko clapped her hands over her mouth, dropping her chopsticks to the floor. "I almost told a secret!"
Eiji flushed, remembering his rather unsightly attempts to show Mitsuko how to chop vegetables. Rather than taking the morning off, as he'd offered, Akiko had pressed her lips together and ordered him out of the kitchen when she'd arrived. It was probably just as well; the housekeeper had showed Mitsuko how to use the stove, and had made sure that no signs of experimentation crept into the soup and tipped Tetsuko off to Eiji and Mitsuko's culinary adventures.
Tetsuko sent a speculative look at Eiji as she stood to clear the table. "Do I want to know?"
"No. You don't," Eiji said firmly, crouching to pick up Mitsuko's chopsticks. "This secret won't hurt anyone, and telling it would definitely be a bad idea."
Tetsuko turned to Ginji and raised an eyebrow. "Well?"
"Don't ask me; Eiji's my employer," Ginji said, leaning away from his sister.
"And I'm your twin," Tetsuko said. "Traitor." She tapped his nose lightly with a serving spoon. Ginji shrugged, but a ghost-smile flickered over his face for a moment.
Eiji dumped the chopsticks into the sink, kissed Tetsuko's cheek, and then swung Mitsuko into his arms. "I'll let you two thrash out which of Ginji's obligations takes precedence. Meanwhile, Mitsu-chan and I will wash up and get some sleep."
"Tell me the story about Shinju-hime!" Mitsuko said as Eiji limped through the main room toward the stairs. "I want to hear what happened after she met the iron dragon, the onmyouji, and the thunder horse. You said they had lots of adventures and lived happily ever after, but I want to know about the adventures."
"Adventures? You want adventures? Then let me tell you about the time the princess and her three guardians had to hide from an army of evil shinobi. It was near the end of summer, just like now, and they had traveled west from the great mountains until they reached the sea. The princess loved to play in the waves..." Eiji began. Mitsuko beamed up at him, and he felt a sliver of ice pierce his heart.
This was what he had to protect. This was what the hidden villages destroyed, whether they meant to or not. This was what he stood to lose if he or anyone in Tengai slipped in the next month.
Kami help them all if he couldn't make everything work out.
---------------------------------------------
End of Chapter Eight
Back to chapter 7
Continue to chapter 9
Read the clean version here on ff.net. (Trust me, you want to read the clean version. Think of the lj version as what I'd send to beta-readers if this were Harry Potter fanfic.)
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In other news, I switched my lightweight summer blanket for my comforter this weekend; the seasons are changing and nights are getting chilly. I also swapped shower curtains, because the one in use had mildew down both ends. It's currently soaking in a bucket of bleach-laced water, and I will scrub the daylights out of it this evening. I really ought to switch shower curtains every three months or so, but I'm lazy and tend to forget.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-26 06:17 pm (UTC)-ChibiRisu-chan not logged in at the moment
quick and dirty explanation
Date: 2006-09-26 06:27 pm (UTC)I think that covers the basics!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-26 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-26 07:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-26 09:25 pm (UTC)According to the bounds of my little Narutoverse, I can never see Sasuke making it into ANBU because of his early and longstand pyschological trauma. Naruto on the other hand is more intriguing because of the way he seems to ignore most negative feelings towards him.
One of the more interesting things I'm trying to flesh out on paper right now deals with the ANBU mask and it's use to the Assasination Squads. I hope that you have the time, or are planning to flesh out Seichi's character a bit more. I'm interested in seeing if someone totally unrelated to me comes up with the same conclusions about the ANBU based on what we've seen in the manga.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 04:38 pm (UTC)Genma's age, and other thoughts
Date: 2006-09-27 01:43 am (UTC)Anyway, as I've said above, it doesn't make any real difference, but I'm curious whether you've knowingly scaled Genma's age down, or were not aware of his canon age, because he doesn't seem to be the same age here. Or at least that's what I'm getting the impression of. You have him as a chuunin "about Kurenai's age" and it's my (mistaken?) that Kurenai is a couple years younger than Yukiko.
But the above is just nitpicky details that don't have a significant impact on the story (or at least they don't seem to). The actual *plot* of this chapter is in my opinion well-constructed. The best feature, in my opinion, is the plan to sneak past the guard. Canon-Naruto is sneaky (or can be), but I have trouble seeing him think up such a plan. Maybe that's just me; I don't know.
Worst feature? If I have to pick something (since, really, this chapter has no real low points), I'd say Kakashi's sense of humor. He IS funny, but...I don't know. It kind of grates, just a little. Naga's continual referring to Gai as the "green idiot" is also rather repetitive; it's at least the third or fourth time she's called him that across the two stories. Maybe you could have her think of a different insult?
Anyway, cheers and thanks for the update!
Re: Genma's age, and other thoughts
Date: 2006-09-27 04:44 pm (UTC)'Green idiot' is more of a nickname than an insult, per se, but I hear you. Gai's name will work just as well.
Can you be more specific about how Kakashi grates on you? I'm willing to play around with his dialogue, but it would help if I knew what, specifically, was bothering you.
Thanks for your comments!
Re: Genma's age, and other thoughts
Date: 2006-09-27 08:09 pm (UTC)Regarding Kakashi, I don't know if I can explain it better than, he's grating because he's imitating someone who is *serious* with his hamminess. Gai gets all melodramatic, but since he's so sincere about it, it comes off hysterically (at times). Kakashi can't pull that off because he's doing an IMITATION, and also because it just isn't his personality.
Does that make sense at all?
Re: Genma's age, and other thoughts
Date: 2006-09-27 08:46 pm (UTC)You make sense. I had Kakashi imitate Gai for reasons which, well, suffice it to say they aren't hugely important, and given his general, "Oh, you're talking? I hadn't noticed," attitude towards Gai when they meet in person, I can see people finding it peculiar for him to imitate Gai. I can tweak those two paragraphs around so he's being annoying all on his own.
*hauls out the Editing Pen of DEATH and laughs maniacally*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 07:37 pm (UTC)*stalks your lj*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 08:41 pm (UTC)A) I am working on at least 3 chaptered fanfiction WIPs at the moment, as well as several one-shots and a longish original short story that I really need to have done by Thanksgiving, and I cannot update anything at a regular pace to save my life...
and
B) "Guardian" is not going to deliver the same type of story as "Apartment Manager". "Apartment Manager" was a very character-driven story, centering on Yukiko and Naruto. "Guardian" is an ensemble action/adventure story, dealing with the way a ninja society interacts with the wider world. There are some common themes -- the importance of family, and of pursuing one's dreams/goals -- but I am trying very hard not to just rehash the first story, so depending on why you liked the first one, you may or may not like "Guardian" as much.
With those caveats in mind, stalk away!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-27 09:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 10:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-28 10:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 05:18 am (UTC)My guess would be if more shinobi turned out like Yukiko, Eiji wouldn't be so hellbent on reform huh. I like him, but since I already know that you're planning to kill him I don't think I'll get too attached. It's all very cool.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-04 07:42 am (UTC)Yukiko, much though she tries to deny it, genuinely likes most people. She also has a strong social conscience; that comes out most in one-on-one interactions, when she can't rationalize away the other person's troubles as a symptom of forces beyond her control. I like that about her.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-04 06:15 am (UTC)Your Sasuke and Naruto... they are so well constructed, I keep going to the so-called canon and saying, how come they aren't acting like *this*?! :D
I also love how you have developed the multiple POVs of so many characters - it reminds me very much of those TV dramas where the whole cast is all over the place, with differnt interweaving paths, that may or may not cross over...
And may I add, that when Genma first appeared, I was squeeing like a nutty fangirl? He's such a cool character (even though he had so little time in the show and manga...). And he was taken in by Naruto and Sasuke's ruse! It was really ingenious of Naruto - he really knows how to think side-ways - which is also so *canon*, since he uses strange and very odd ways of approaching things compared to a 'normal' shinobi. You have taken that aspect of canon and ran with it and it's *good*.
I don't know about Kakashi - He's... he's okay, i guess. Though, I can't really judge, since he's not one of my favourite characters, and the usual characterisation of him I see in fandom is quite different, but here, at least, his characterisation is pretty much the same as in the Way of the Apartment Manager. :D That's extremely good, since I doubt that I can manage that..
I love Yukiko and Naga - they're such vivid characters, and Seichi is pretty.. interesting. Though what I find interesting is that his characterisation is somewhat similiar (in some aspects) to how Kakashi is portrayed in fandom. It's not criticism or anything, just something interesting I noted. Or maybe it's just my gut feeling.
Um. And as for the Cloud-nin subplot... That, I must admit, is not as attention grabbing as the rest of the plots. I know, it will probably be very important later, which is why you are giving all that information and plot development, but I am sort of... an odd reader, I suppose. I skim for the parts I like, that feature the characters I like (Yukiko, Naga, Iruka, Naruto, and now I'm hoping for Genma, though I doubt he's gonna turn up very much. *sigh* ) and skip the rest. Then when the story's done, and the bad guys are all dead (or converted, or fleeing, or however it ends..) I go back and read the bits that they turned up in. I do this mostly in fanfiction, though with original stories, it is more rare...
It's not a criticism! I'm just longwindedly explaining my way of reading and... yeah, maybe I should stop it...
I actually like quite a bit of your other fics, that one with Duo, Sasuke and some female character in the underworld (?) Your characterisation is very strong - even if they may not be as how I normally view the characters (though I really like your Duo characterisation, strong, protective, smart, and very flexible and versatile under fire) I really *get* them when you write them.
I think, when you publish original material, I might well read it. Beautiful, well thought out writing. I don't normally write like that - analysing plot lines, plot *types*, and going for styles and things like that... I'm more the 'idea hits, I write till I run out of inspiration' type of writer... Though I do experiment. It does make what you are doing seem so much more systematic and inspires so much respect in me.
Yeah. I do hope you would update soon, though I understand that you have a couple of fics running concurrently, and there are always real-life issues to deal with. Fantastic work with this fic, and I can't wait for it to be finished!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-04 08:32 pm (UTC)Seichi does seem like Kakashi on first glance -- I hadn't realized that at first, since I know all the ways in which they're not alike, but by this point there's nothing much I can do but wait until the differences become clearer as the story progresses.
Eiji & company will definitely be important, and that is why I'm giving them so much page time. Their plot threads will weave in with everyone else's -- I am going to make everything pull together as planned, even if it drives me completely insane in the process.
Writing a multiple-POV story is something I'm still fairly new at, especially when those POV characters are involved in widely divergent plot threads, so this is kind of a learning experience for me. In retrospect, it might not have been such a good idea to introduce Eiji so early, but this is how I'd do it if I were writing an original story -- balance issues -- and I kind of forgot that fanfiction readers' expectations skew a little differently, and that it's a bad idea to move away from canon characters, who bring instant recognition and sympathy. Ah well. You win some, you lose some.
"Guardian" is the first story I've ever had to use a timeline for, to make sure I keep everything happening more or less in chronological order, and to make sure I don't accidentally drop or add days into one plot thread and not make corresponding changes to the other parts of the story. (It's hard keeping Eiji 'in time' with the Leaf-nin, but I accidentally slipped Naga and Kakashi a whole day out of sync with Yukiko at one point -- which has since been fixed -- and that really brought home how tricky it is to send characters all over the place when you're working within a fairly tight timeframe. That is, if I had months to play around with, I could skim over a day or week here and there and sand the rough edges off any time discrepancies, but this entire story takes place in one month, more or less, so if I misplace a day, it matters.)
Oh. And Genma should have a brief cameo in chapter 9, unless the story refuses to cooperate. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-05 01:37 am (UTC)When I said Kakashi and Seichi resembled each other... it was. Like, Kakashi portrayed in fandom, you know? A bit psychotic, hidden by masks, and infinitely dangerous. But in this fic, yes, Seichi and Kakashi don't seem similiar at all. Well, not *externally*. I do hope Iruka shows up a bit more - he's such an easily flustered dear here, and so dedicated. I really like him...