Sep. 19th, 2009

edenfalling: circular blue mosaic depicting stylized waves (ocean mosaic)
I went back over "Undertow" today, inserting a couple plot points that needed to be mentioned earlier than they had been, and trying to give the viewpoint character some actual reactions to stuff going on in the final section. The story is now about 7,000 words.

Now I need a beta.

You see, I have no perspective on this story anymore. Also, I don't have any idea if it A) achieves the atmospheric effects I was going for, or B) works properly on the two levels it's meant to work on. In one sense, this is practically original fiction... )

Beyond those issues, I would (as always) appreciate a general spelling and grammar check, a does-this-make-sense check, and a 'wow, that's badly phrased' check. As for canon... "Undertow" is massively, massively AU by now, but the basic premise is that the 'resue Gaara' arc went a little differently, ending with Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi kidnapping Sasuke from Hidden Sound, after which Naruto and Sakura kidnapped Sasuke from Konoha before he could get thrown in jail and are now supporting themselves as missing-nin while hunting Akatsuki and Orochimaru.

...

Is anyone willing to look "Undertow" over for me? If so, please comment or send a private message and I will email you the file.

(If nobody has the time, I will inflict the raw version on livejournal on Monday, but I really do think it would benefit from being edited.)

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edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Elizabeth Culmer

July 2025

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