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my grandmother is dying
Mar. 1st, 2011 12:11 amI talked to my mom last night, and she mentioned that Grandma Doris had been feeling down lately, not eating much and retaining fluid. When Aunt Cara arrived to visit her this weekend, she thought Grandma Doris looked so bad that she decided to take her to the hospital.
Tonight I got an email from my dad:
Sad news -
Doris has been having various problems for a while and things got troublesome enough while Cara was there this weekend that on Sunday they went to the ER and admitted her to the hospital. It now appears that she has pancreatic cancer and it has spread in multiple places in her liver, plus there are multiple places through the abdomen where fluids are leaking out of the intestine. She has virtually stopped eating and often seems essentially not there. There are other problems too.
She will return to [the assisted living home] and receive hospice care in her room. Cara is staying until tomorrow afternoon, Bill will get there around noon and can stay over Tuesday night, and your mother plans to fly tomorrow night and get there Wed. later morning. That's as far as we have gotten.
This could all be over in a couple of days or maybe go on for a couple of weeks. I don't know that there would be any point in trying to visit her. Meds other than pain management will be stopped but they will give oxygen when needed.
We have not worked out whatever else will have to happen or when. A memorial service might be held off a fair amount of time I suspect so you don't need to feel you have to plan for an immediate trip.
Knowing that something like this was almost certain to come in the near future doesn't ease the distress much.
If I've got anything important wrong in this your mother will correct it soon.
love,
Dad
Grandma Doris is 93 years old. She's been fading away for years, fuzzing out in dementia. And nobody lives forever.
But aside from glaucoma and hip problems, her physical health has been generally good. This is...
...
This is.
Grandma Doris is dying.
I have to wrap my head around it.
...
I hope she isn't in pain. I hope she knows her children are there with her.
I was just thinking I should write her a letter so she'd have something to read when she got home from the hospital. I think I'll write it anyway. She likes getting mail. She likes knowing people are thinking of her.
Every little bit we can do to help, right?
Tonight I got an email from my dad:
Sad news -
Doris has been having various problems for a while and things got troublesome enough while Cara was there this weekend that on Sunday they went to the ER and admitted her to the hospital. It now appears that she has pancreatic cancer and it has spread in multiple places in her liver, plus there are multiple places through the abdomen where fluids are leaking out of the intestine. She has virtually stopped eating and often seems essentially not there. There are other problems too.
She will return to [the assisted living home] and receive hospice care in her room. Cara is staying until tomorrow afternoon, Bill will get there around noon and can stay over Tuesday night, and your mother plans to fly tomorrow night and get there Wed. later morning. That's as far as we have gotten.
This could all be over in a couple of days or maybe go on for a couple of weeks. I don't know that there would be any point in trying to visit her. Meds other than pain management will be stopped but they will give oxygen when needed.
We have not worked out whatever else will have to happen or when. A memorial service might be held off a fair amount of time I suspect so you don't need to feel you have to plan for an immediate trip.
Knowing that something like this was almost certain to come in the near future doesn't ease the distress much.
If I've got anything important wrong in this your mother will correct it soon.
love,
Dad
Grandma Doris is 93 years old. She's been fading away for years, fuzzing out in dementia. And nobody lives forever.
But aside from glaucoma and hip problems, her physical health has been generally good. This is...
...
This is.
Grandma Doris is dying.
I have to wrap my head around it.
...
I hope she isn't in pain. I hope she knows her children are there with her.
I was just thinking I should write her a letter so she'd have something to read when she got home from the hospital. I think I'll write it anyway. She likes getting mail. She likes knowing people are thinking of her.
Every little bit we can do to help, right?
