am I depression-blogging now?

I am starting to feel vaguely like I could maybe one day put words on a page again, which in retrospect has made me realize that I've been in a blue funk on top of general gray malaise for the past week or two. Whoops! I mean, you'd think the sleeping schedule fucked to hell and back and the obsessive reading in a completely unfamiliar fandom would have been major tip-offs, but apparently not. Apparently those symptoms have started to feel normal.

(This is worrying. I rely on contrast to tell me when my brain is temporarily dropping me down a well, so I can deploy emergency countermeasures, but if 'normal' is already a third to half of the way down the well... eurgh.)

Anyway, I have not yet heard back from the doctors' billing office, so I'm going to call again on Monday to ask what's up with that and also try making an appointment even if they don't yet have my billing status figured out.

Because I am really thinking it is time for meds again. *sigh*

even so, not everything is terrible

In happier news:

A) The Lazarus pepper's fruit is starting to turn red. Yay ripe vegetables! Also one of my assumed-dead squash plants has not only survived (...for now), it is growing a new squash. I reiterate: yay ripe vegetables! (I have cleared out the two dead plants, mixed up the dirt to cut through the root mats, and planted new seeds. We shall see what happens.)

B) My church's kitchen is tragically beset by ants... but never fear! A brave spider has set up shop above the sink, and I informed everyone (while I was volunteering for coffee hour cleanup this morning) that it is our new mascot and nobody is allowed to disturb it while it hunts. I like spiders. :)

C) I am slowly getting on top of various chores I've been letting hang undone for the past two weeks. There's a bunch more to go, but it feels more like a large task now instead of an immovable mountain crushing me. The return of semi-functional brain chemistry for the win? *wry*