edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon, looking left (raccoon)
[personal profile] edenfalling
Petunia Dursley character study. Because I know about sisters and jealousy, and I sympathize even if I don't agree. (Cross-posted here on ff.net, and here on FictionAlley.)

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Family
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There are things Petunia doesn't think of.

She doesn't think of her childhood, when she and Lily played together, when Lily made balls of colored light that floated around the garden, when she washed and bandaged Lily's perpetually skinned knees.

Instead, she remembers the way the boys grinned shyly at her sister but called her horse-face, the way their parents lavished smiles on Lily's scribbled artwork and didn't mention her own careful efforts at baking. She always cleaned up after herself, never leaving flour strewn around the kitchen, while Lily left crayons on the floor, but nobody noticed that either.

She doesn't think of Lily's eleventh birthday, when the owl came with the funny letter. She doesn't think of the stern witch who guided the family on a tour of Diagon Alley. She doesn't think of the way she longed to wave a wand, to brew a potion, to ride a broom.

Instead, she remembers the way Lily left, the way their parents seemed to lose the spring from their steps, the way none of her biscuits could cheer them up, the way they pounced on each owl-delivered letter, ignoring her own reports of daily life. She started to spend time away in the evenings, time with boys, and nobody objected. Nobody seemed to notice if she went with bad boys, even while their mother lectured Lily about that Potter boy.

She doesn't think of the childhood pictures Lily charmed to move, the ones that show two sisters laughing together. She doesn't think of Lily's frozen face at their parents' funeral. She doesn't think of the way Lily leaned into James's side, the same way she herself leaned into the solid, tangible comfort of Vernon's arm.

Instead, she remembers the scraped, hollow feeling of coming home from the pub with Vernon only to discover the windows smashed, their father's corpse frozen in a silent scream, their mother's body bloody and twisted on the bathroom floor. She remembers the livid green skull, made of glowing smoke, that floated over the roof. She remembers that the wizard police came too late, that they shrugged off her questions, that they talked over her head as if she were less than human simply because she had no magic.

She doesn't think of the letter Lily sent before she and James went into hiding. She doesn't think of the desperate concern in Lily's voice when she spoke of her new baby. She doesn't think of what she'd want for Dudley should anything happen to her and Vernon.

Instead, she remembers a squalling brat left on her doorstep without so much as a single warning. She remembers a chilling, high-handed letter from that Dumbledore person. She remembers the fear of magic back in her home, the fear of the green skull, the knowledge that wizards are as petty and fallible as anyone else, but they can do so much more to hurt her than normal people.

And so she feeds her nephew, and dresses him, and hates him for Lily's eyes and James's hair and the way that she can't quite make herself throw him out. Because even if he brings death upon her home, he's her last link to her parents, and to Lily.

But Petunia doesn't think of that.

She thinks of bright smiles, stolen attention, messy floors, and magic. She thinks of cold graves, terror, and death. And she makes Harry as little like Lily as she can.

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Inspired by the March 7, 2004 [livejournal.com profile] 15minuteficlets word: misdirection

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-08 12:35 pm (UTC)
liliaeth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] liliaeth
wow, great look on Petunia

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-08 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marksykins.livejournal.com
(Drive-by comment, by way of 15minuteficlets...) Oof. What a sock to the gut that was. A lovely look at Petunia, truly.

they talked over her head as if she were less than human simply because she had no magic.

Nice line, given the stance most wizards take with regard to Muggles.

15minuteficlet float over

Date: 2004-03-09 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsita.livejournal.com
Ah, sibling rivalry... Ain't it grand? *sour look* I hated my brother...

Re: 15minuteficlet float over

Date: 2004-03-09 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsita.livejournal.com
And now, we shall never know... Right now, though, I could happily shove this computer monitor up my brother's nose...

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-09 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lonolella.livejournal.com
Wow. I saw this on the 15minuteficlet community, and I have to say it's incredible...It's a very mature piece, and you've gotten it just right. ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-09 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redwolfoz.livejournal.com
What a wonderfully humanising look at Petunia. It was a great read.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-09 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crimsonclad.livejournal.com
Terrifying and eerie and real, because it's easy to dislike and dismiss her but hard to figure out why she is the way she is.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-03-15 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] minerva-fan.livejournal.com
Wow, what a phenomenal fic! I'm on a major Petunia kick right now, and I'm stunned at how many good stroies there are about her....

MinervaFan

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-04 07:07 am (UTC)
pauraque: bird flying (Default)
From: [personal profile] pauraque
Wow, this is great. Honest, brutal and unsparing.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-28 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rianax.livejournal.com
You make Petunia so human and understandably so. She lost her sister and her parents this terrifying and tiny world-- this squalling infant is a tether that threats to drag her and her family back in.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-06 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rianax.livejournal.com
She has always seemed petty and bitter, but human. She took Harry. for all the hatred and fears, she took Lily's child in.

I wonder if Harry ever realized what he owes her.

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edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Elizabeth Culmer

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