![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingThis is part 16 of An Ounce of Prevention, a Naruto/Harry Potter crossover that I started as a giftfic for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
askerian.
Technically, it's an insertion of one HP character/plot device into the Naruto world, but that does count as a crossover of sorts. "An Ounce of Prevention" will not affect canon in either series; that is, it takes place during the Naruto timeskip, and significantly before CoS in HP. (Which gives away at least part of the ending, but whatever. *grin*)
---------------------------------------------
Chapter 16: Fool Me Once
---------------------------------------------
"No!" Sakura shouted, and shoved the door open, splintering the wood away from the lock-plate and nearly ripping it loose from its hinges. She dashed into the bathroom, toward the pipe. She couldn't let anything hurt Tomu or the crying girl.
"Get back!" she said, drawing two kunai and skidding to a halt beside the pipe, careful not to stand directly in front of the opening. "Go! Run!"
The girl said something incomprehensible, foreign. She sounded annoyed, not scared.
Dull yellow light glowed inside the pipe, reflecting from the metal rim. Sakura hurled a kunai toward the glow and stepped back, tense.
Behind her, something crashed to the floor.
Tomu laughed.
Sakura's blood froze. Carefully, still keeping half her attention on the pipe and the yellow glow, she turned towards her right. A small, dark-haired girl lay still on the tiles, a pair of glasses knocked from her face and bent askew. Tomu had bent to check her pulse.
"Is she dead?" Sakura asked.
He didn't seem to hear. She edged toward him and the girl, waved one hand in front of his face. He didn't react.
Oh. Of course. This was a memory. This Tomu wasn't real. The girl wasn't real. Sakura was seeing a record of decades-old events -- everything in this room had already happened and couldn't be changed.
The memory Tomu rocked back on his heels, pulling his hand from the girl's throat. A strange, cold smile crept over his face, and he murmured something in that harsh, foreign language. Then he turned his wand on himself, gestured, and seemed to draw a shard of glowing light from his body.
From one pocket, he pulled a small, shabby black book.
Sakura stepped back, hands falling. "No," she said. "No." This made no sense. Why would he trap himself? There had to be some other explanation.
And yet... Tomu was evasive. Manipulative. He'd opened a door into her mind and tried to subvert her loyalties. She knew that. She'd seen how wrong the doorway looked, seen how her subconscious flinched from that contact.
He'd just killed a girl in front of her, or at least stood by and done nothing to prevent her death. He'd used her as fuel to capture a piece of his own soul. Whatever his motives, there were no excuses for sacrificing an innocent civilian.
Kakashi was right; Tomu was as evil as his diary. They had to kill him.
"So you found out."
Sakura spun, sinking into a defensive stance, both hands raised to throw knives or form seals. Another Tomu -- the real Tomu -- leaned against the open door of the memory room, his wand aimed at her heart. His eyes were cold, and a frown tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"You killed her," Sakura said.
"Yes," Tomu agreed.
Her heart sank, and she realized she'd still -- still -- been hoping that he'd been possessed or otherwise innocent. Stupid. A ninja couldn't afford sentimentality. Subtly, Sakura checked the height of the sinks, the thickness of the cubicle walls, the distance to the door, and the position of the two puddles on the tiled floor. She had to get past him, had to lure him aside or incapacitate him long enough to reach the door or break through the walls.
"But that's not important," Tomu continued. "That's in the past; you're in the present. How did you get in here, Hana? You shouldn't be able to reverse the connection, and you shouldn't have been suspicious enough to bother, even if you had the raw ability to enter the diary." He tilted his head, studying her as if she were a fascinating technical problem, not a fellow human. "What have you been hiding from me?"
"No more than you hid from me," Sakura said. Behind her, green light flared and the memory Tomu hissed something long and liquid that itched along her skin. "You trapped yourself. Why, Tomu? How is this prison worth anyone's death?"
Tomu smiled. "It isn't for me. But for my original self... for him, this is a path to immortality. As long as I exist, he can never die." His smile widened. "That's why he sent me away, of course, but I don't care what happens to him. I want to get out of this book. I want to live. And you're going to help me, Hana. I was planning to drain you one drop at a time, but look!" He threw out his free hand, gesturing around the room. "Here you are, your whole self, right in the heart of my power."
Sakura inched to her right, closer to the sinks, and didn't respond.
Tomu shrugged and donned a blatantly false expression of regret. "I'd love to learn all your secrets, Hana, but this isn't the time or the place. Be a good girl and stay still. It will hurt less."
He stepped forward and raised his wand.
---------------------------------------------
End of Chapter
Back to Curiosity Killed
Continue to A Miss Is as Good
Read the final version on ff.net
---------------------------------------------
Chapter 17 ("A Miss Is as Good") is already written, but I'm not going to post it until I'm at least halfway done with chapter 18 (tentatively titled "He Who Laughs Last" -- though I may change it back to "Satisfaction Brought" between now and posting). This is mostly so I can make sure the pacing flows right from chapter to chapter, and so I can tweak 17 if the plot requirements of 18 need setting-up.
After that, I think I can wrap up the story in two more chapters and an epilogue. And though I'm notoriously bad at judging scene lengths before I write them, I'm quite sure "An Ounce of Prevention" won't go past 23 parts at most.
Then I move on to "Secrets." :-)
(Except I'll probably be working on some original stories first, because I have a strict deadline for at least one of them. I swear by all the gods that anyone ever held holy, Cat, I will have your year-and-a-half delayed birthday present ready by your wedding!)
askerian.Technically, it's an insertion of one HP character/plot device into the Naruto world, but that does count as a crossover of sorts. "An Ounce of Prevention" will not affect canon in either series; that is, it takes place during the Naruto timeskip, and significantly before CoS in HP. (Which gives away at least part of the ending, but whatever. *grin*)
---------------------------------------------
Chapter 16: Fool Me Once
---------------------------------------------
"No!" Sakura shouted, and shoved the door open, splintering the wood away from the lock-plate and nearly ripping it loose from its hinges. She dashed into the bathroom, toward the pipe. She couldn't let anything hurt Tomu or the crying girl.
"Get back!" she said, drawing two kunai and skidding to a halt beside the pipe, careful not to stand directly in front of the opening. "Go! Run!"
The girl said something incomprehensible, foreign. She sounded annoyed, not scared.
Dull yellow light glowed inside the pipe, reflecting from the metal rim. Sakura hurled a kunai toward the glow and stepped back, tense.
Behind her, something crashed to the floor.
Tomu laughed.
Sakura's blood froze. Carefully, still keeping half her attention on the pipe and the yellow glow, she turned towards her right. A small, dark-haired girl lay still on the tiles, a pair of glasses knocked from her face and bent askew. Tomu had bent to check her pulse.
"Is she dead?" Sakura asked.
He didn't seem to hear. She edged toward him and the girl, waved one hand in front of his face. He didn't react.
Oh. Of course. This was a memory. This Tomu wasn't real. The girl wasn't real. Sakura was seeing a record of decades-old events -- everything in this room had already happened and couldn't be changed.
The memory Tomu rocked back on his heels, pulling his hand from the girl's throat. A strange, cold smile crept over his face, and he murmured something in that harsh, foreign language. Then he turned his wand on himself, gestured, and seemed to draw a shard of glowing light from his body.
From one pocket, he pulled a small, shabby black book.
Sakura stepped back, hands falling. "No," she said. "No." This made no sense. Why would he trap himself? There had to be some other explanation.
And yet... Tomu was evasive. Manipulative. He'd opened a door into her mind and tried to subvert her loyalties. She knew that. She'd seen how wrong the doorway looked, seen how her subconscious flinched from that contact.
He'd just killed a girl in front of her, or at least stood by and done nothing to prevent her death. He'd used her as fuel to capture a piece of his own soul. Whatever his motives, there were no excuses for sacrificing an innocent civilian.
Kakashi was right; Tomu was as evil as his diary. They had to kill him.
"So you found out."
Sakura spun, sinking into a defensive stance, both hands raised to throw knives or form seals. Another Tomu -- the real Tomu -- leaned against the open door of the memory room, his wand aimed at her heart. His eyes were cold, and a frown tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"You killed her," Sakura said.
"Yes," Tomu agreed.
Her heart sank, and she realized she'd still -- still -- been hoping that he'd been possessed or otherwise innocent. Stupid. A ninja couldn't afford sentimentality. Subtly, Sakura checked the height of the sinks, the thickness of the cubicle walls, the distance to the door, and the position of the two puddles on the tiled floor. She had to get past him, had to lure him aside or incapacitate him long enough to reach the door or break through the walls.
"But that's not important," Tomu continued. "That's in the past; you're in the present. How did you get in here, Hana? You shouldn't be able to reverse the connection, and you shouldn't have been suspicious enough to bother, even if you had the raw ability to enter the diary." He tilted his head, studying her as if she were a fascinating technical problem, not a fellow human. "What have you been hiding from me?"
"No more than you hid from me," Sakura said. Behind her, green light flared and the memory Tomu hissed something long and liquid that itched along her skin. "You trapped yourself. Why, Tomu? How is this prison worth anyone's death?"
Tomu smiled. "It isn't for me. But for my original self... for him, this is a path to immortality. As long as I exist, he can never die." His smile widened. "That's why he sent me away, of course, but I don't care what happens to him. I want to get out of this book. I want to live. And you're going to help me, Hana. I was planning to drain you one drop at a time, but look!" He threw out his free hand, gesturing around the room. "Here you are, your whole self, right in the heart of my power."
Sakura inched to her right, closer to the sinks, and didn't respond.
Tomu shrugged and donned a blatantly false expression of regret. "I'd love to learn all your secrets, Hana, but this isn't the time or the place. Be a good girl and stay still. It will hurt less."
He stepped forward and raised his wand.
---------------------------------------------
End of Chapter
Back to Curiosity Killed
Continue to A Miss Is as Good
Read the final version on ff.net
---------------------------------------------
Chapter 17 ("A Miss Is as Good") is already written, but I'm not going to post it until I'm at least halfway done with chapter 18 (tentatively titled "He Who Laughs Last" -- though I may change it back to "Satisfaction Brought" between now and posting). This is mostly so I can make sure the pacing flows right from chapter to chapter, and so I can tweak 17 if the plot requirements of 18 need setting-up.
After that, I think I can wrap up the story in two more chapters and an epilogue. And though I'm notoriously bad at judging scene lengths before I write them, I'm quite sure "An Ounce of Prevention" won't go past 23 parts at most.
Then I move on to "Secrets." :-)
(Except I'll probably be working on some original stories first, because I have a strict deadline for at least one of them. I swear by all the gods that anyone ever held holy, Cat, I will have your year-and-a-half delayed birthday present ready by your wedding!)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 01:32 am (UTC)Argh cliffhanger! The confrontation all this has been building up to is HERE!
I will be waiting (im)patiently for the rest!
(uh, that's not pressure btw, you already explained why you needed the delay to posting the next part, and I think it makes the story better in the end..)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 01:46 am (UTC)In all honesty, though, I've been forced to use a lot of cliffhangers. The ultra-short chapter lengths mean that I have to break longer scenes into several pieces, and if I have to break a scene, it's best to break it on a point of tension.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 01:47 am (UTC)Ninja!Sakura is sexy, and I really love how the compulsion works. (though I wonder if the ffnet crowd wouldn't need a little more stress on the fact that it's not just sakura being stupid and soft-hearted ? XD)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 02:16 am (UTC)You have a good point about making the trust-me compulsion clearer. I shall see if I can insert a hint in that direction. Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 02:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 02:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 02:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 02:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 10:09 am (UTC)That was evil. As in Tantalus-y evil.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-18 06:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-28 02:26 pm (UTC)I really liked the subtle way that Sakura still hoped that Tomu was not a willing participant. Brilliant work.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-28 09:38 pm (UTC)Her heart sank, and she realized she'd still -- still -- been hoping that he'd been possessed or otherwise innocent. Stupid. A ninja couldn't afford sentimentality.
to this:
Her heart sank, and she realized she'd still -- still -- been hoping that he'd been possessed or otherwise innocent. Stupid, and careless. She should have noticed the genjutsu sneaking up on her again.
I dunno. It's good to remind people that Tom's been messing around with her head, but I don't like the implication that compassion is suspicious and misguided. On the other hand, this avoids the original version's implication that Sakura is willfully sticking her head in the sand where Tom is concerned, possibly in the same way she ignored all of Sasuke's warning signs.
*sigh* Sometimes you just can't avoid annoying subtext.