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[personal profile] edenfalling
I have been so tired these past few days. I think it's because my sleep schedule got disrupted, so even if I get the same amount of sleep, having it at unfamiliar hours throws my body clock off. *grumble*

It's also been rainy, which always makes me tired even on my best days. Days of slow rain are good for quietly contemplating the zen of the universe, not for working. (Thunderstorms, on the other hand, are energizing, but I think that's because of the electricity and anticipatory edge they create in the air.)

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I randomly created a Facebook account several months ago (I can do this because I never let my Cornell net ID lapse) in order to track down a specific webpage. Then I never got around to unsubscribing, but I've never done anything with the account because I don't care about it or Facebook. I have never really cared about college life, not even when I was a full-time student.

Anyway. A couple days ago I got an email from Ryan, who was my friend for several years in high school and college, and, about eight years ago, my boyfriend for a few months. He told me I needed more friends; I'd been on Facebook for months; and why had I never talked to anyone?

This is so Ryan. The last time I had any contact with him was a couple years ago when we arranged to have a picnic lunch, and he stood me up. Then he never called to explain or apologize for that, and I refused on principle to call him until he explained. Then, last year, I tried calling him once, got no answer, and decided that if he had no interest in contacting me, that was fine by me. We could let the relationship go.

So it was odd to hear from him and to have him be critical right off the bat, especially when he was the one who was actually responsible for letting our friendship lapse. I didn't push to get it back, because by that point we'd already been moving in different directions. (He's into competitive ballroom dancing, esoteric physics, and going out and getting drunk and partying and making out with girls. I am more fond of staying home, reading, writing, and the social sciences... and I was uncomfortable with his attitude toward alcohol and his 'must be in a romantic relationship' focus.)

I emailed him back. I think I was more curt than I should have been, but then, I don't really feel like he's a close friend anymore, and his tone put my back up, so whatever. He's in Chicago with a new girlfriend, and I wish him well. If he wants to renew our friendship long-distance, that's fine with me. If he doesn't, that's fine too.

I dunno. It's just weird to hear from him after I'd basically not thought about him for over a year, and not been especially close for a couple years before that.

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edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Elizabeth Culmer

May 2025

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