[Fic] "Just Killing Time" -- Naruto

[edenfalling]

This is a little Team 7 ficlet, set between Wave Country and the chuunin exam. No pairings, no warnings -- just a bit of mild humor and twelve-year-old kids being twelve-year-old kids. (The slightly revised ff.net version is here. Yes, I am a compulsive editor.)

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Just Killing Time
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"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan!"

"Huh? What? I wasn't asleep!" Sakura looked around wildly, but Kakashi hadn't arrived since she'd closed her eyes. Sasuke was leaning on the opposite rail of the bridge, staring down at the water. Naruto was perched on the rail next to her, crouched down so he was almost on a level with her, and grinning like an idiot.

"Didn't say you were," he told her. "Knock knock."

"Naruto, what on earth...?"

He shrugged. "Kakashi's late and waiting's boring. It's a joke. Come on, Sakura-chan. Knock knock."

"Oh, all right. Who's there?"

"Banana."

Sakura shifted against the rail, moving her shoulder away from a splintery patch. "Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

Sakura blinked. "I think I missed something. Aren't you supposed to finish with some awful pun on 'banana'?" Come to think of it, what sort of pun could you make that started with 'banana'?

Naruto just grinned.

Sakura sighed and draped her arms over the rail; in the corner of her eye, Sasuke raised one foot and scratched idly at his ankle. "You forgot, didn't you; this is a new joke. Okay. Who's there?"

Naruto's grin widened. "Banana."

"Wait, didn't you just do this?" Naruto shrugged, still grinning. Sakura gave in. "Fine. Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

Sakura curled her hand into a fist and shook it under Naruto's nose; he went cross-eyed staring at her knuckles. "Who's there? And I swear, if you say 'banana' again..."

"Banana!" Naruto swung down off the rail, standing upside-down on the bottom of the bridge. Sakura bent double over the rail and growled at him. He stuck out his tongue. "Nyah, can't get me!"

"What are you doing?"

Sasuke was looking at her! And he sounded like he thought she was acting as stupid as Naruto -- which, well, maybe she was. Sakura stood up, straightened her dress, and blushed. "Sorry for bothering you, Sasuke-kun. Naruto's just being an idiot."

"Am not!" Naruto protested, climbing back onto the rail and scowling at Sasuke. "I'm telling a joke, so Sakura-chan won't be bored waiting for Kakashi. And it's working, too," he added, crossing his arms and looking smug.

"You're being an idiot," Sasuke concluded. "Whatever." He closed his eyes and leaned back against the opposite rail, ignoring both of his teammates. Sakura fumed silently.

Naruto poked her in the shoulder. "Banana. Come on, Sakura-chan. I promise there's a punch line. Cross my heart!"

Sakura gave him a long, measuring look. "If you say so. Banana who?"

"Knock knock!"

"Argh!"

"Hey, hey, I promised! Don't hit me!" Naruto danced back along the rail, narrowly avoiding Sakura's fists. "Ow! Hey, Sakura-chan, calm down!" He tried a backflip, wobbled, and caught his balance again.

Sakura paused, startled by his uncharacteristic gymnastics. "You've been practicing extra," she accused.

"Yup! 'Cause I'm gonna be the best ninja ever, and I'm gonna be Hokage someday!" Naruto said, clasping his hands behind his head and grinning from ear to ear. "It'd be easier if stupid Kakashi didn't waste half our training time, but whatever. Knock knock!"

There was a certain point past which it really wasn't worth arguing with Naruto, because he'd just go ahead and do whatever he wanted to do anyway, and it was less annoying to go along than it was to beat her head against that idiotic, rock-hard stubbornness. Besides, some of his half-brained ideas worked out better than they had any right to. "Who's there?" Sakura said, sliding down to sit on the bridge with her back against one of the rail posts.

"Orange!" Naruto proclaimed.

"Not more fruit..." Sakura looked up at the sky. It was a gorgeous day, warm and sunny and dry, and she wished she could nap or watch Sasuke in peace instead of dealing with her idiot teammate. "Orange who?"

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Sakura blinked.

"That is the stupidest joke I've ever heard," Sasuke said.

Sakura blinked again.

"Bastard!" Naruto yelled, jumping across the bridge in a flying kick. "That was Sakura-chan's joke, not yours!" Sasuke dodged, eyes still closed; Naruto grabbed frantically for the railing, missed, and splashed into the stream with a despairing yelp.

When Kakashi finally showed up ten minutes later, Sakura was still laughing.

Naruto claimed it as a victory.

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End of Story

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And there you are. :-)

Comments

[ladylisse.livejournal.com]

Awww! They're so cute and non-angsty. I think I remember that banana joke from grade school.

[edenfalling]

We currently have vol. 1 of Naruto on sale at the smoke shop, and I was just blown away, upon rereading, at how not angst-filled it is. I think that my perspective on the series got a bit skewed by the various and sundry terrible things that happen later, so it was nice to write something goofy without any real undertones.

The banana joke is the only knock knock joke I consistently remember, mostly because it's so freaking annoying. When you're about six, you don't really question the rules of knock knock jokes, so you just keep going around and around until the other person takes pity on you and says 'orange.'

*gratuitous angsty naruto icon*

[ladylisse.livejournal.com]

*snerk* I'm rereading bits and pieces of it and going "oh yeah, it wasn't always this emo." Not that I don't like the shameless angst, but still. o_O

We just had the little old lady one. Which always turned into yodeling, although I don't quite remember how.

Re: *gratuitous angsty naruto icon*

[(Anonymous)]

little-old-lady-who

::you yodeled::

[yuenoclow.livejournal.com]

*snerk* That was awesome... Ahhh, the horror that is knock-knock jokes. Major groaners, all of 'em. Figures Naruto would like those things...

[edenfalling]

He so would! Sadly, the banana joke is the only knock knock joke I remember, so I can't give more examples. *pouts*

(No, wait! I just remembered another one! Knock knock, who's there, boo, boo who? I'll tell you when you stop crying! *rereads* Yep, major groaner. Bet Naruto'd tell that one to Sasuke.)

[yuenoclow.livejournal.com]

There's also the interrupting cow one. "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting co-" "MOO!"

...Yeah. *shrugs*

[edenfalling]

...It probably doesn't speak well of my sense of humor that I find that hysterically funny, does it.

(It has cows. Cows are inherently funny. Um. Or maybe I've just been conditioned by The Far Side. *ponders*)

[yuenoclow.livejournal.com]

*snickers* Probably not, but everyone has at least *one* bad joke they find hilarious.

[toki-usagi.livejournal.com]

*dead laughing*

[jjhunter]

LOVE the icon. Hitchhiker's Guide + FMA = perfection.

'it'll cost you another leg though' indeed!

[edenfalling]

*claims victory*

[toki-usagi.livejournal.com]

*tackle-glomps to the floor*

[jjhunter]

nicely done!

[edenfalling]

Thanks!

[askerian]

Okay, this is beyond cute, and I love the end, the way Sasuke dodges without even opening his eyes and Naruto still decides that it's a victory because it made Sakura laugh. It's beyond adorable.

Which is why the "believe it" line only makes me writhe in pain a little bit. u.u;;;;; evil.

[edenfalling]

Mwahahahaha!!! *chases you down with dubbed anime episodes*

Seriously, I can take that out. I just threw it in because 'dattebayo' sounds massively out of place to me, since I try to only use Japanese for proper names, for certain ranks and weapons, and for relationship or honorific 'tags' on people's names, and I am never really sure about the accuracy of manga scanlations OR official translations, so... Anyway, I heard somewhere that 'believe it' was Naruto's tagline in the early dub episodes, and I thought I might as well use it now and then.

I take it that was a bad idea?

[askerian]

D:

*is ded from believe it*

Seeing as "believe it" was apparently totally chosen at random and doesn't mean anything close to dattebayo at all, as far as I know, I tend to prefer using "hell yeah!" or things like that, or even nothing at all instead. XD;;; I can't help but HEAR THE DUB when it's used, and that hurts me deep inside my little soul. ;__;

But it's your choice! XD *crawls away now yes*

[edenfalling]

It's okay, I'll take it out. *pets you*

[askerian]

*petted* ♥ You really don't have to if you feel it sounds better like that XD;;; It's just one of these "twitch-twitch" things. ^^;

[edenfalling]

I have no strong feelings one way or the other; that's why I was willing to change it. I've never seen the anime, after all, so it would be hard to be emotionally invested in any dub taglines!

(Well, okay, that's not technically true -- I saw the first episode once, several years ago, while my cousin Michael and I were killing time at a family get-together -- but it's functionally true because I didn't care about the series at the time and wasn't particularly paying attention. We then went on to watch the final episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, which I suspect would not have made much sense even if I'd seen the rest of the series first. *shrug* Michael had an interesting collection of downloads.)

[askerian]

♥

In general it probably isn't needed, but there are some scenes that definitely gain from being animated.

(*snerk* Evangelion doesn't make sense even if you see all of it says she who only had a very casual interest in the pretty anyway)

[edenfalling]

there are some scenes that definitely gain from being animated.

Such as?

[askerian]

Some fights. Like Lee VS Gaara and Lee VS Kimimaro, and Sasuke VS Orochimaru (they added stuff and I think it works better like it is, with more development instead of having the thing be over in two moves), and the narusasu fight on the hospital roof. This one is so pretty~ *__*

Want me to upload an episode to yousendit for you? :D

[edenfalling]

I can definitely see how action scenes would be easier to follow and more visually interesting when animated. Thanks for the offer, but don't bother uploading. I don't have a way to watch -- no headphones, for one thing, and the video quality on lab computers is... iffy, to say the least -- and I'm happy being an inadvertent elitist manga snob. *grin*

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I remember Luriko translated it as "I say" - it seems to be a way of reaffirming what you said, just like "ne" or "na", which would roughly translated into "right?"

[edenfalling]

Interesting. Thanks for telling me!

[(Anonymous)]

Nngh. Reread my comment and cringed at the "ed". Sorry about that, and please don't hesitate to tell me about any strange struturing or mispelled words. I tend to get quite a bit miffed at this kind of thing when I write in my own language, and I'd hate to think I'm being sloppy when I write in English.

Also, the Luriko I was talking about is the luriko-ysabeth who wrote about four pieces of a Saki-chan series involving an Uchiha harem.

[dragon695.livejournal.com]

da = approximately equivalent to the "to be" verb for stating things like X is Y.
tteba = sentence ending used by the speaker for showing not-so-subtle displeasure/irritation towards the listener as well as emphasizing a point (somewhat akin to exasperation or defiance). It can be roughly translated as "I'm telling you..." It is considered pretty rude outside of casual conversations and is certainly not used when speaking with strangers or superiors.
yo = a sentence ending that is the Japanese equivalent of the the exclamation point, mostly for emphasis.

The inside joke (at least at the start of the manga) is that Naruto is socially inept and craves attention, so he decides that it is cute to throw around -ttebayo's at the end of his sentences even though it's not appropriate. Since it really is quite rude to use it with strangers and superiors, anytime he says it is likely to grab their attention, even if not in a good way. It is also a strange quirk because -tteba is a variation of -yo, so it doesn't make sense to use both: it is simply overkill. I suppose that's Naruto for you, though... ^_^

[edenfalling]

Neat! Thanks for the information -- I am always happy to learn linguistic details like that. And yeah, the lack of social skills combined with the bone-deep urge to make people notice him is very Naruto. *pets him*

[redwolfoz.livejournal.com]

I really, really don't miss twelve year old humour. That is an appalling joke and Naruto deserved a good dunking.

[edenfalling]

There is a reason I've remembered that joke, and as I said, it's not because I liked it.

Then again, it's only really as irritating as you let it be. I've found that many things in life are like that. *shrug*

[onyx-demoness.livejournal.com]

...my brother told me that joke yesterday when he called me - he expected me to be astounded and/or ROTFLMAO. Poor thing is unaware that it's older than bad metaphor in harlequin romances. It's older than civilization. It's older than Albus Dumbledore.

I went off on a tangent. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, what I wanted to say was...oh, yes. I really like the tone of this story - lighthearted and funny. It's a welcome break from all the sappy fluff and dramatic angst (not that either of these two are bad things, just very common) and I think it regressed me about ten years. I shall now spend the rest of the day running up my phone bill planning immature and impossible pranks with my younger cousins (and/or a couple of brothers and sisters).

[edenfalling]

It was a fun story to write, precisely because it doesn't have anything really deep or dramatic to say, and because it's not veering into LOVE! or HATRED! or anything like that. Sometimes, people just hang out and tell stupid jokes to their friends. Even when they're ninja. :-)

[storm-of-roses.livejournal.com]

Hi! Random commenter three years later, JUST TO CONFUSE YOU. I wanted to share the interrupting Completely Uncalled For knock-knock joke.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting completely uncalled for. Interrupti-- *slap* *scurries away*

And the fic was super cute. Yay no angst!

[edenfalling]

I suspect you would only be able to pull that joke on family or close friends (so as not to get beat up in retaliation), and it would only work once... but yeah, that's funny in a schadenfreude-laden way. *grin*

I'm glad you liked the story!