wherein Liz is pleased (mostly) by her latest ff.net reviews

[edenfalling]

I posted "Undertow" on ff.net a couple days ago, and while I do not usually have high expectations of reviews there (there are notable exceptions, but an awful lot of them are either nice but unhelpful 'this is great!' comments, or complete inanity that misses the point of the story), I was just blown away by a few comments I received.

Three of them in particular have made me decide to significantly revise the story over the next couple days. I have already gone back and edited the final chapter of "Tides" to explain the mission better and make the details there play nice with the details already in "Undertow" -- like fixing the "sailor's sister" vs. "sailor's daughter" discrepancy.

I am writhing in annoyance at missing the glitches that have been pointed out to me -- and at the work it is going to take to fix them or talk around them -- but mostly I am excited because clearly I did something right to get this kind of thoughtful, intelligent response. So yay!

(And also, the story is going to be so much better in a few days. It is always good to know you will be showing your best face to the public, so to speak. *grin*)

Comments

[redwolf]

Yay! I'm still baffled you got useful reviews via the Pit of Voles.

[edenfalling]

I think I have been very lucky, overall -- especially when I consider the horror stories some other people have told about entitled and/or creepy reviewers. (Also, the idiots tend to blur into a vague, meaningless chorus, while the thoughtful comments stand out much more clearly in my memory. So to some degree, it's a question of attitude and what I choose to pay attention to.)

[arin-rowan.livejournal.com]

...I reviewed on ff.net but realized something while looking over other review responses and wanted to ask for clarification. When Sasuke's eyes flashed red, I was under the impression that he was manipulating Tsukimaru's behaviour. That, basically, why he was dragging it out and kept coming up with reasons to wait was because Sasuke sharingan'd him into doing so. I'm curious- was that correct?

[edenfalling]

Pretty much, yes. *grin* Sakura was also playing with genjutsu sometimes -- there's a reason I kept talking about her hands twisting around each other, and it wasn't just that she was faking nervous gestures. But Sasuke knew Tsukimaru was on edge that night and he put a minor whammy on him as a precaution.

The justification Tsukimaru uses for drawing it out is all his own, though. I am planning to go back and clarify that he fancies himself an artist (note the failed watercolor paintings mentioned late in the story) and is treating the seduction and lead-in to rape rather like performance art or theater; he wants it to be perfect for the 'artistic' effect as well as the twisted satisfaction he gets in breaking and raping young women.