progress on "Lemonade," and Stories of the Sacred week... 16, I think?

[edenfalling]

Chapter 16 of "Lemonade" is done in rough draft. Now I am going to sit on it for a day or two to get some perspective and sand off the worst kludgy bits. (This may very likely include ditching the random discussion of English grammar and putting in actual interesting conversation instead. *headdesk*) It will be up Tuesday night at the latest.

I warn you in advance: it ends on a cliffhanger and god only knows when I will get around to chapter 17. But still, new chapter. Yay?

Note: I did indeed cut the "English is a stupid language" conversation, but it's available as an outtake if you are interested.

---------------

In other news, I taught RE today. This week's lesson was David and Goliath, which is always a fun story. Afterwards we discussed the usage of 'David and Goliath' as a metaphor for people taking on huge and seemingly insoluble problems, like, oh, the recent earthquake in Haiti, so I hope the kids will talk to their parents about that and maybe be inspired to contribute some of their allowance to charity or something.

Then we made outlines of David and Goliath on a ten-foot roll of paper. David was a tracing of one kid, and Goliath was a tracing of two kids, with one 'standing' on the other's shoulders. The kids absolutely went to town coloring the pictures in. David ended up with a mermaid tail, a rocket-launcher, wings, glasses, and a glow-in-the-dark mohawk. Goliath was wearing a chain of pineapples (...don't ask me; I am just reporting what Emma told me she drew), several belts that gave him various superpowers, a bazooka, and a pig snout.

I almost literally fell over laughing. :-)

Comments

[edenfalling]

It's a very stupid discussion (which is why I am cutting it), but I will post it here for you!

-----

"Oh, bring logic into it," Duo said, laughing. He pivoted on his heel and cupped his hands around his mouth, calling up toward the cabin. "Hey, Faith, the water's dirty. No baths today, ---- you want sand in ---- places."

Sasuke couldn't quite parse the second sentence, but judging by Duo's tone of voice, that was probably for the best. The first, though... "Did you mean, 'The waters are dirty'?"

Duo cocked his head at a slight angle, visibly running the last several seconds through his memory. "Oh! No. English elides syllables a lot, so what I said was, 'The water is dirty,' but I ran 'water' and 'is' together. It's called a contraction."

"Ah." Annoying. Sasuke was perfectly familiar with swallowed and softened syllables, but English was such an sloppy language, on top of being arranged back-to-front. It was galling to think he'd sound like a three-year old for a long time to come. Then again, he was sure Faith couldn't have learned his language half as well in a handful of days.

-----

I am replacing it with some stuff that's slightly more plot-relevant.

[askerian]

XD Oh, Sasuke's irritation at the illogic and laziness of the English language. That's so him.

[edenfalling]

He is so delightfully grumpy so very often. :-)