edenfalling: golden flaming chalice in a double circle (gold chalice)
[personal profile] edenfalling
A week or so ago, my DRE sent out an email asking for lifelong UUs who'd be willing to talk to the middle school class about our religious experiences. I forget whether the middle schoolers are doing Neighboring Faiths this year (and are currently dealing with their own religion before returning to others), or are doing an actual whole year studying UUism. In any case, Jennifer thought it would be good for them to hear from people who were born-and-raised UU (or Unitarian or Universalist, for those born before the merger), because UUism is a demographically weird religion, in that a majority of our adult members came to the religion from elsewhere.

UUism, in other words, has a strong tendency to be a refuge faith for people fleeing their childhood religions, while also being a faith that is sadly all-too-easy for its own children to just drift away from.

I am, therefore, something of a statistical anomaly. :-( And there are reasons for that -- both the drift and my conscious choice not to drift. The thing is, because so many UUs are fleeing what they see as straightjacket beliefs and practices, they are twitchy in the extreme about imposing anything even vaguely reminiscent of ritual and faith on their children, with the end result that it is all too easy for those children to grow up without understanding why anyone would want to belong to an organized religion at all -- the community aspect flies right over their heads in all the talk of finding one's own individual truth.

My parents, however, made a big point of church-as-community all through my childhood. They both talked explicitly about that and modeled highly participatory behavior -- they taught RE, they joined committees, they were on the Board of Trustees, they made and paid large pledges, they ushered and cleaned up after coffee hour, they volunteered for projects, and so on and so forth. Which meant that, when I was having a slow-motion spiritual crisis in high school, my reaction was that even if I couldn't figure out what I believed, I could at the very least do something that would make me feel more connected, on the theory that connection was valuable in and of itself, and would probably make me feel better too.

Which is how I ended up teaching Sunday school the first time, and was rather flabbergasted to discover that I loved it... but the epic saga of my relationship with teaching is another story for another time. *grin*

Anyway, I was very lucky that when I came to Ithaca, not only was there a UU church in town (which is never a guarantee -- we are a small denomination), but that church was also having a brief spasm of interest in outreach to college students and young adults, prompted mostly by the then-minister, Rev. Sears, and a couple girls at Cornell who were doing their damndest to create a self-sustaining college UU worship group. They found me.

That is so unusual for UUs that it bears repeating. They found me.

I would most likely have gotten around to attending church on occasion anyway, and I am sure that when I decided to stay in Ithaca, I would have looked into the RE program -- as I in fact did -- but that student group was a significant part of my support system from 2000 to 2004, and I am quite sure my depression would have been worse without the weekly meetings. So I am very, very grateful for that. (And yes, I gave back a little. I was the recording secretary; I wrote up our minutes and sent out weekly emails so people who skipped a week didn't feel like they were out of touch, and so we had a clear record of our plans and who was responsible for what.)

Anyway, I resolved my spiritual crisis somewhere around, oh, 2003-ish -- and I came out of it more convinced than ever that community was the heart and soul of organized religion. Anyone can be spiritual alone, but to be spiritual in community -- to support others and be supported in return -- to give and receive as part of a living fellowship -- that, to me, is so, so important. That is why, lazy and introverted and antisocial though I am, I will never let myself just drift away.

I count myself ridiculously lucky that I was raised in a religious tradition that not only lets me do all the soul-seeking I want to, but in fact actively encourages me to do so -- and whatever answers or questions I come to, I can find them within the structure of my church community. I don't have to leave to find myself. I can change and change and change, or stand fast like a rock for ever, and whatever I try, whatever I choose, I am always already home.

And I am never alone.

That is what Unitarian Universalism is to me.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-15 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annearchy.livejournal.com
Community is the main reason I became a UU. I'm agnostic, and I'm sure there are a gazillionteen unchurched agnostics, but I knew I needed to be someplace where other people would understand and ACCEPT me as a nonbeliever who needed to be in a group. Also, I knew that, as a recovering Catholic, I could never take my kids (if I ever had any) to Catholic religious education. So I was happy to find that UU was a place where kids would learn about other denominations and belief systems.

Our consulting minister, Rev. Jane Esbensen, gave a good sermon yesterday called "Words, Words, Words" - reflecting on the sort of "trigger words" that seem to offend some UUs, especially those who fled other religions. I hope it's available online soon; I would love to link you to it.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-23 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annearchy.livejournal.com
Alas, it's not posted online. I'm bugging the webmasters (via Facebook:) to post her sermons either in text or MP3.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-29 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annearchy.livejournal.com
Alas, I was wrong. Here's a link to the audio files.

http://uuprairie.org/audio/index.php

(no subject)

Date: 2011-09-17 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cherokee1.livejournal.com
I would be very interested in this as well.
It is eye opening to note what seems so offensive to me, seeing as how
UU educates their children to be open to other faiths and their rituals...
Would you link me, too?
Thank you,
CKN

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-15 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] willowgreen.livejournal.com
Thank you for posting this beautiful piece. As my kids get older, I hope that they find the same sense of home in their church.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-15 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wren-chan.livejournal.com
Man.. I need to look up my local community. I'd forgotten that yes, that could be had--but when I was in third and fourth and fifth grade going to RE was the ONLY good thing in my life. (Depression sucks rocks.)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-11-16 10:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wren-chan.livejournal.com
Yeah, after that you can't really say anything more profound, only more profane...

That actually sounds kinda familiar. I should try to see if I can hook up with the local community--I've heard good things about the Boulder (fellowship? Congregration? Goddess, I don't even know THAT?)

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edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Elizabeth Culmer

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