[Fic] "Trollstuck," part 2 -- Homestuck

[edenfalling]

back to part 1

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Trollstuck, part 2
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====>Ponder options

There's no point trying to warn Sollux. Vriska can only control him half the time, but he has a migraine tonight and that leaves him open, no matter what you might say to him. You need to come at this sideways and get somebody to deal with Vriska since you know she'll ignore anything you try to tell her.

The obvious choice is Kanaya. She talks to Vriska all the time, and she's probably the only person who tries to talk her down from her stupider ideas. Buuuuuut, now that you think of it, you're not sure Vriska ever actually listens? Drat.

Vriska used to listen to Terezi, at least sometimes, but you're pretty sure they're not speaking to each other right now, which is part of what kicked off this whole mess that's going to end with Aradia vaporized in the ruins of her hive. And that pretty much leaves Jothan.

Oh, double phooey. You like Jothan -- he's a fun guy! -- but his sense of humor can be a little, well, dangerous. Especially where Vriska is concerned. This is probably not going to end well.

But you have to try! Aradia's life depends on this!

You'll just have to be sneaky.

====>Be sneaky

-- gleefulGorgon [GG] began trolling ghastlyTrickster [GT] --

GG: hey jothan i have a great idea for a trick!
GG: want to hear it?
GT: ~~ oh hey, jarlia! sure, I'd love to hear it.
GT: ~~ but i thought you didn't like my jokes anymore?
GG: yes well i am still upset about how close you came to killing my lusus
GG: and stranding me and nepeta outside at dawn last sweep
GG: that was not funny no matter what you say
GG: but i was thinking......
GT: ~~ a strange and uncomfortable sensation!
GT: ~~ hehehe
GG: :(
GT: ~~ just kidding! you're one of the smartest people i know.
GT: ~~ except maybe for sollux, but he's a douche so he doesn't count.
GT: ~~ (and you-know-who, of course.)
GG: she cant actually sense you typing her name, dumbass
GG: thats just you being a scaredy little squeakbeast :p
GT: ~~ hey! i am not a little squeakbeast.
GT: ~~ i am definitely at least medium-sized. :p
GG: :)
GG: but anyway i was thinking
GG: you and vriska always help each other out these days with your tricks and her plots
GG: so shes stopped expecting you to pull the floor surface cover out from under her
GG: and that means shes a prime target right?
GT: ~~ bluh
GT: ~~ you are so right. so very, very right. how could i miss this?
GT: ~~ she trusts me!
GT: ~~ this is perfect!
GT: ~~ what to do, what to do?
GG: i have an idea!
GT: ~~ yes?
GG: you remember the flarp mess right?
GT: ~~ jarlia, i am not talking to anyone about the flarp mess, okay.
GT: ~~ do you have any idea how many people have trolled me to tell me I'm an awful person?
GT: ~~ even feferi did, and i don't think she has any direct friendship with any of those four!
GT: ~~ it is stupid and ridiculous and not funny at all.
GT: ~~ it's not like i threw tavros off a cliff myself, and i didn't tell vriska to either.
GT: ~~ it's not even my fault i distracted terezi and aradia. i thought it was just another joke, and anyway, you should have seen their expressions when the special stardust hit their faces!
GT: ~~ hehehe :)
GG: ......
GG: ............
GG: you are my friend and i would like that to continue being a thing that is true so i am going to pretend you didnt say all that
GG: the point is that aradias really mad and sent ghosts to make vriska feel sorry
GG: but you know vriska
GG: i dont think its going to work
GG: especially since ghosts cant actually touch her
GG: so i thought, what if you sort of pretended to be a ghost and REALLY scared her??????
GT: ~~ ...
GT: ~~ this is not about pranks at all, is it?
GT: ~~ you're on aradia's side and you're trying to make me punish vriska.
GT: ~~ you know what? you can go suck your own nook.
GT: ~~ i don't like other people manipul8ing me, and if i want to get back at vriska for using me to get at tavros without telling me beforehand, i will do it in my own time and my own way.
GG: jothan wait
GT: ~~ i'm going to tell vriska what you tried to do.
GG: jothan no dont do that!
GG: shes going to kill aradia if you do that!!!!!!
GT: ~~ well that's between her and aradia, isn't it?
GT: ~~ may the best troll win.
GG: jothan for fucks sake dont you hang up on me!

-- ghastlyTrickster [GT] ceased trolling gleefulGorgon [GG] --

GG: FUCK!!!!!!

====>Reassess situation

Great. Not only did you fail to stop Aradia's coming death, you may have just inadvertently become responsible for giving Vriska the idea in the first place. Stupid self-fulfilling prophecies. They are absolutely the worst part of seeing the future. Usually you're better at avoiding them, but apparently you're not thinking very clearly tonight.

Knowing that your friend is going to die before dawn can do that!

Now what?

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What should Jarlia do next? (Hint: your most likely options include trolling Rose, Terezi, or Dave. Or what the heck, you could try Nepeta and/or Equius; that could also go to interesting places.)

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continue to part 3

Logically, if the kids are trolls and grew up in Alternia's stratified, adult-free, and violence-tolerant culture, they're going to be a little different. But feel free to tell me if you think my changes are off-base.

ETA, 11:30pm 4/16/12: I edited the pesterlog a little, mostly for typing quirk reasons. The basic thrust of the conversation remains the same.

Comments

[askerian]

Oh empathy-impaired John. Scaaary thing. ;___;

ROSE. ROOOOOOSE. D:

[marici.livejournal.com]

Well, Jade's no good at sneaky. Clearly. I think Terezi, if she's still able to read text. She's already involved, and at the least she'll give flawless advice on who to pester next.

[edenfalling]

Since Aradia is not yet dead, Terezi has not yet attempted revenge on Vriska, so Vriska has not yet used Tavros and dragonmom to blind her. :-) Who knows, in this world that may never happen! (Maybe Aradia will live. Or maybe something even worse will play out...)

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

========> Jarlia: Okay, so pranking Vriska is right out. Maybe we can try psychoanalyzing her into submission.

Failing that, maybe some incredibly shitty/"ironic" slam poetry will help.

Maybe even both at once!

...You're totally doomed, aren't you.

(Huh. I honestly thought that Troll!John would be a restraining influence on Vriska, maybe even her moirail. Not that I'm complaining. This more interesting than just nipping it in the bud.

Besides, no Sburb means no Doc Scratch, which means that someone has be the distaction in the FLARP incident, and someone has to influence Vriska's decision kill Aradia. This version of John makes as much sense as anyone.

Minor nitpicks: I would have expected troll versions of the kids to have somewhat more exaggerated typing quirks than their human selves, in keeping with the general troll pattern. [Although Troll!Rose can probably get away with impeccable standard spelling and grammar, considering how unusual this seems to be among trolls!]

Also, regarding the ==> symbol: you'll note that in Hivebent, it's ======>. This is because each = stands for two kids/trolls, and there were twelve trolls to four kids. This fic has sixteen trolls, so it should be ========>.)

[edenfalling]

Hmm. I will think about typing quirks and maybe edit if I come up with some! As for the arrows, I get the symbolism; I just don't want to type out that many equal signs. *is hopelessly lazy* Perhaps I will switch to ====> and claim that each sign actually represents FOUR people instead of two. :-p

I think a lot of John's empathy and sense of fairness come from his dad, and since he obviously doesn't have Dadbert in this world, there's not as much counterbalancing his equally strong tendency to be kind of an asshole in the name of humor. Also, he did not grow up with Gamzee fucking around in his dreams, so he doesn't have that subconscious sense of worthlessness to fight against. So he and Vriska tend to egg each other on rather than calm each other down. (You could certainly construct an equally reasonable AU in which he does calm her down and acts as her moirail; that's just not as useful for the particular story setup I constructed.)

[edenfalling]

Okay, Jothan has a typing quirk now. Jarlia's is a lot more subtle, but I regularized her punctuation use so when she repeats punctuation marks (or words, or letters) it's always in multiples of six. :-)

[vehrec.livejournal.com]

========> [s] Have a Sweet Rave Party. No wait, save that for later. Right now you should Pester Equius if you know about his...thing with Aradia, and if you don't, try convincing Dave for direct Intervention.

[edenfalling]

Alas, sound files are not a thing that will be happening in this story. :-(

[marici.livejournal.com]

Oo, a new thought, try the metagame: Jarlia, pester Vriska's moirail.

[edenfalling]

====>Troll Vriska's moirail

You cannot do this because Vriska does not have a moirail! She would be a LOT easier to live with if she did. Probably.

Actually, the only people you know who have filled their pale quadrants are Nepeta and that sweaty weirdo Equius, though you have suspicions about Davven and Terezi, and you think Sollux and Aradia are probably leaning toward pale instead of flushed. You think Nepeta is awfully lucky. If you had a moirail, it might be easier to figure out what to do right now.

(Tavros totally does not count. That is completely and utterly platonic, because he is such a wet floor surface cover and lets Vriska and Davven and everyone else walk all over him. But you don't think he'd be any good at helping sort out your problems, and one-sided moirallegiances are just asking for trouble. Look at what happened with Feferi and Eridan before they flipped ashen with Alonde four perigees ago! That was such a giant mess. Almost as big as this FLARP mess you're trying to sort out now.)

edited to use fic icon. and yes, this is now the start of part 3. :-D

[marici.livejournal.com]

===> Troll Karkat and get him to Troll Terezi for you.