[Fic] "Trollstuck," part 6 -- Homestuck
Apr. 30th, 2012 12:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingback to part 5
Warning: long memo is long! It's hard to gauge wordcounts on chatlogs, but I think this section clocks in around 3,000 words. I did break it up with a bit of narrative for sheer formatting relief, but even so. LONG. :-/
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Trollstuck, part 6
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====>Talk to all of them at once
You are doubtful that this is the most efficient way to proceed, but sometimes your desire to observe interesting interpersonal interactions gets away from you. There are three other points in favor of this plan. Firstly, you are rather annoyed at Eridan yourself -- after all these sweeps, it might be nice for him to show some sign that he's working to understand his various psychological issues -- and you wouldn't mind rubbing his fins in his blood-rank assumptions for a while. Secondly, you believe, from what various of your friends have told you over the sweeps, that Feferi and Aradia get on like a tidal wave -- they both have a way of cheerfully rolling over obstacles in their paths. Thirdly... well, that would be telling.
You send all three an invitation to join a memo on your private bulletin board.
====>Open memo
tentacleTormentrix [TT] opened memo on board DOWN IN THE DEEP.
TT: Somenight I must remember to thank Sollux for explaining the intricacies of Trollian's memo function to me.
TT: It is a deeply counterintuitive program, despite its usefulness.
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo.
CA: hey lon howws it wwavvin
CA: wwhats up wwith this memo shit
CA: is there some reason wwe cant just talk normally or somefin
cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo.
CC: GLUB!!
CC: )(ow are you, ALOND-E?
CC: You )(ave to kelp me with Mister Grumpy Fins over )(ere or I may STAB )(IM TO D-EAT)(!
CA: hey noww
CC: )(e is being SUC)( A PAIN!!!
CA: yeah an wwhat about you
CA: takes twwo ta tango fef
TT: If you wish me to mediate, it might behoove you to explain the origin of your fight.
TT: I cannot verbally resolve an argument without knowing its subject.
CC: W)(at do we -EV-ER fig)(t about t)(ese nig)(ts?
CC: )(e's talking about genocide again!
CA: i resent that i said nofin about actually killin anybody this time
CA: since wwhen is it a crime to wwonder about stuff
CC: SINC-E YOU N-EV-ER STOP AT WOND-ERING, -----ERIDAN!!! >38(
CC: Also I found anot)(er doomsday device in )(is )(ive!
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo.
AA: g0sh, is this a bad time?
CA: an wwhat wwere you doing snoopin around my ship hmm
AA: i can tr0ll y0u back ar0und dawn my time al0nde
CA: you wwant me ta come dowwn and mess wwith all your stuff
CC: T)(AT'S NOT T)(-E POINT! T)(AT'S NOT ANY OF T)(----E GLUBBING POINTS!
CC: I don't )(ave anyt)(ing to )(ide.
CA: yeah thats wwhat they all say
AA: 0h dear
TT: Please stay, Aradia.
TT: I wanted to talk with you before you return to your excavations. There are some things I would like you to look for in particular.
CA: lon youre supposed ta be payin attention to us not your fuckin creepy squidbeast communion shit
CC: )(i, Aradia! Glub glub glub! 38)
TT: There is a skill known as multitasking. You might look into it.
CC: I'm sorry Mister Grumpy Fins is being SUC)( A J-ERK.
AA: hi feferi! :)
AA: im s0rry im interrupting y0u guys
CA: you fuckin wwell should be
CC: )(-------EY!
TT: I invited her, Eridan.
AA: even if multitasking is a thing that is happening maybe we sh0uld m0ve 0ur c0nversati0n t0 a separate wind0w
TT: If you wish to express animosity, aim it at the correct target.
TT: Or else.
CC: W)(at she said!
AA: i really feel like a third wheel 0n a tw0-wheel device here
TT: Shush, all of you.
CA: thats because YOU ARE
TT: Eridan, do shut up.
CC: Y---EA)(!
TT: Feferi, please don't interrupt.
AA: ...ill be quiet t00 i guess
TT: Thank you, Aradia.
TT: Now. Eridan and Feferi, I need to sort you two out as soon as possible, but I also need to talk to Aradia within a very limited time window.
TT: The plan, therefore, is for you two to contribute to our discussion in a productive fashion.
TT: With luck, this brief interlude of cooperation will remind you that you are civilized trolls.
CA: i resent the implications a that statement
TT: Failing that, you should at least learn more about the history of
TT: Eridan, what did I say about shutting up?
CA: like im scared a you lon
TT: Excuse me for a minute.
====>Alonde: Make him scared
You step away from your husktop, reflecting on the chain of events that has brought you to this pass. Sentimentality has largely restrained you from demonstrating your abilities on your friends, let alone on trolls for whom you nursed confused romantic inclinations for nearly two sweeps before their unbalanced moirallegiance finally imploded and gave you a chance to propose a new relationship to them both. You still have no need to demonstrate anything on Feferi; she understands perfectly well the dangers of the Abyss, both Without and Within. But Eridan is an empiricist, and a dreadfully closed-minded one at that.
A Visitation will do him good.
You dive down the stairs into the underwater portion of your hive, your black skirt catching the current that runs through your hive and belling out around your legs as you swim. You pay no attention to the scattered statues of ocean fauna, nor to the numerous piles of carved stone tablets you have found hidden in secret caches in oceanic trenches over the past several sweeps. You head straight for the balcony where you keep your pets leashed.
You've never understood what most trolls have against giant squid. They're very graceful, intelligent creatures, and quite easy to train once you've learned to commune with the primal darkness of the abyssal plains.
You select a sleek young thing with elegant tentacles and a dainty beak and lay your hand between its eyes. As shadows flow from your fingers, you begin to speak.
====>X;pfGT"^Foi%21sJBq*(
Your next actions are unfortunately blanked out by a fundamental interface error between the Outer Darkness and mundane reality. Also, the sound of your speech, even transcribed, would most likely cause computers to explode.
The narrator is attempting to cobble together a workaround for this bug, as it may become an issue if we continue following you.
For now, let's skip ahead a minute or two.
====>Alonde: Return to your computer
You hastily return upstairs and scan the conversation that has taken place while you were gone.
CC: Now you're in for it!
CA: in for wwhat
CA: a bunch a fakey fake fuckin mumbo jumbo shit
CC: ALOND-E IS NOT A FAK-ER!
CA: she only scares people cause they let themselvves be scared
CA: its all in the mind
CC: IF ANYON-E'S A GLUBBING FAK-ER, IT'S YOU!!!
CA: people jump at shadows an then they say oh no alondes comin ta eat me
AA: just because y0ur wizards are imaginary d0esnt mean al0ndes summ0ns arent real!
AA: ive sp0ken with tr0lls shes killed
AA: the h0rr0rterr0rs exist even if y0u d0nt believe in them
CC: And t)(ey are )(UNGRY!
CA: yeah right
CA: so howw come ivve knowwn her for swweeps an swweeps an ivve never seen so much as a fuckin sucker mark on my railings
AA: this is just a the0ry
AA: but p0ssibly she kept her experiments away because she likes y0u
AA: in an ashen manner 0r 0therwise
AA: and didnt want t0 scare y0u 0ff?
CC: Besides, you s)(oaldn't need proof. You kelp me feed Gl'bgolyb!
CA: wwhats your lusus got ta do with anyfin
CC: W)(AT T)(-E S)(-----ELL DID I DO TO G-ET STUCK WIT)( SUC)( A GLUBBING D-EPT)( BLIND IDIOT LIK-E YOU IN ON-E OF MY QUADRANTS??? >38(
CA: wwait
CA: wwhat
CC: Gl'bgolyb IS a )(ORRORT----------ERROR!
AA: really?
CC: Yes, reelly!
CC: S)(e's been awfully evasive on t)(e subject, but a few perigees ago I finally managed to coral )(er into admitting t)(at t)(e voices she sings wit)( sometimes are )(er friends in t)(e OUT-ER DARKN-ESS!
CA: you havve got ta be shittin me
CC: I wanted to get Alonde to translate, but Gl'bgolyb got reelly N-ERVOUS around )(er for some reason!
CC: She started raising )(er voice!
CC: A few )(undred lowbloods on the coast nearest to my )(ive DI------ED!!!
CA: good riddance
AA: s0 thats what caused all th0se c0nfused gh0sts!
AA: i w0ndered ab0ut that
AA: its a neat way t0 die but im glad i live 0n the 0ther side 0f the main c0ntinent
CC: Me too! 38)
CC: And -Eridan, S)(UT UP!
CC: I'm going to be -Empress of ALL the trolls, not just seadwellers. -EV-ERY life matters!
====>Rejoin memo
TT: On that note, Eridan, I would like to direct your attention to a logical flaw in your hatred for landdwellers.
TT: Consider: we are all born from the mother grubs.
TT: Where do they live? On the land.
CA: oh gog not lecture time again
TT: Who tends them? Jadebloods, who are landdwellers.
TT: This further suggests that mother grubs themselves are jadeblooded and share the psychic sensitivities of that caste, as well as the inability to live underwater.
TT: Therefore, if you ever succeeded in killing all landdwellers, you would simultaneously doom our race.
CC: )(A! TAK-E T)(AT!
CA: yeah okay so theres a couple a minor logistical gaps in my plans that might need adjustin
CA: doesnt mean the basic concept is wworthless
CA: anywway returnin to the point i dont see wwhy im supposed to be scared a you lon
CA: like oh no the shadowws are growwin teeth and tryin ta eat me
CA: except wwait theyre not
CA: oops funny howw that wworks
TT: All in good time, Eridan. All in good time.
TT: =:)
AA: ...s0meh0w it makes me nerv0us when y0u use smilies
TT: =:D
CC: I t)(ink I know w)(at you mean, Aradia.
CA: bunch a wwimps
TT: I am forced to agree with Eridan. =:)
TT: But let us move onward.
TT: Aradia, am I remembering correctly that you said your latest excavation site appears to date back before the Imperial Era, judging by the irregular use of personal symbols?
AA: yes!
AA: which is very exciting
AA: i didn't expect t0 find anything that 0ld still undisturbed and als0 this well preserved!
AA: i d0nt think the tr0lls wh0 lived there were happy t0 be buried alive by a v0lcan0 but its awfully lucky for me
CA: and youre one a the people tellin me im deficient in compassion
CC: Because you AR-E!
CC: T)(ose trolls would )(ave died t)(housands of sweeps ago anyway! Anyone YOU krill would still be alive except for you!
CA: says the girl wwhose lusus eats other peoples lusii by the dozen
CC: 38(
TT: Hold that thought for later, please.
CA: yeah sure wwhatevver lon
CA: i livve ta please
CC: Like s)(ip you do!
TT: MOVING ONWARD.
TT: One of my contacts led me to yet another of my Ancestor's caches last week. Tonight I finally finished interpreting the tablets.
TT: They relate to the unification of our race under Her Imperial Condescension, and the various leaders of landdweller resistance to her rule,
TT: the most important of them being the Grand Highblood, the Gardener, the Gamelord, and a pair of figures you may have heard of:
TT: Dayblade and the Demoness, who lived at the foot of an active volcano on the eastern coast of the main continent.
AA: !!!
AA: i th0ught they were just bedtime st0ries my lusus liked to tell
AA: all ab0ut the daring rustbl00d her0es wh0 tricked their way ar0und the caste laws
AA: st0le fr0m the rich and gave t0 the p00r
AA: saved psychics fr0m being enslaved
AA: and s0 0n
AA: like the gamblignants except n0t at sea and n0t s0 selfish
CC: No one will enslave your moirail! I PROMIS-E!! GLUB GLUB GLUB 3:)
AA: and pr0bably n0t real either
CA: wwhat kind a shitty stories does your lusus knoww
AA: thank y0u feferi :)
CA: they wwerent heroes they were pitch black vvillains
AA: even if i d0nt kn0w if s0llux is pale f0r me back
CA: people called dayblade the assassin
CC: I am sure )(e is as pale as sun-bleached coral!
CA: wwhich is like a laughsassin only kinkier if you knoww wwhat i mean
CC: ---ERIDAN!!!!! >38(
CA: and the demoness wwas also knowwn as deaths handmaid
CA: on account a howw many trolls she killed
CC: So t)(ey killed people. So w)(at? T)(ey were AT WAR!
TT: Precisely.
TT: This was a war of all against all -- or at least that is what Feferi's Ancestor wished the landdwellers to believe
TT: so they would waste their time and strength fighting each other and thus be easier prey for her own forces.
TT: But resistance proved fiercer than she had expected, which is when she turned to my Ancestor for other methods.
AA: ...
AA: like v0lcan0es?
TT: I believe that eruption was coincidental.
TT: However, the Demoness and Dayblade escaped the destruction of their home and quickly began to recruit new followers from the population of lowblood psychics.
TT: Clearly the Condesce needed a weapon to counter them.
CC: 38(
CA: dont you sadface at us fef
CA: go on lon this is gettin interesting
TT: Why should I continue? The conclusion is obvious.
CA: no its fuckin not
CA: wwhat did your ancestor do
AA: wait
AA: are y0u saying?
TT: Yes.
AA: h0py sit!
CC: I'M SO S)(OR-EY!!!
AA: its n0t y0ur fault feferi!
AA: its n0t al0ndes fault either
AA: all ancest0rs d0 is sh0w us a path
AA: that d0esnt mean y0u have t0 f0llow it
AA: everyb0dy gets t0 ch00se her 0wn way!
CA: i still got no clue wwhat youre all blitherin on aboat
CC: T)(e Magician summoned and woke Gl'bgolyb! )(ow -ELS-E would a )(ORRORT-ERROR come to live on Alternia???
CC: )(er voice )(hurts lowbloods first, t)(en )(ighbloods, and t)(hen seadwellers last of all!
TT: But not you. And not the Condesce either.
TT: That was your Ancestor's condition for the summoning.
CC: AND I )(AT----E IT!
CC: Not )(er, I don't )(ate )(-ER, of course, s)(e's my LUSUS.
AA: and she br0ught y0u up very well!
AA: :)
CC: But I )(ate t)(e way s)(e's always lurking in the back of people's )(eads, and I )(ate w)(at -Eridan and I )(ave to do to keep )(er )(appy, and I )(ate that s)(e's kelped my Ancestor -ENSLAV-E OUR W)(OL-E SP-ECI-ES FOR T)(OUSANDS OF SW-E-EPS, and I )(ate t)(at I can't do anyt)(ing to FIX IT!!!
CA: aww fuck
CA: noww look wwhat youvve done lon
AA: feferi!!!
CA: shell be miserable for nights
CA: howw am i supposed to fight her wwhen shes actin so pitiful
AA: its 0k feferi i pr0mise!
CA: you fuckin ruin evveryfin you huge wwitch
TT: Somehow, I have been under the impression that my job as your auspistice is to prevent you two from fighting. Have I been mistaken all these perigees?
CA: yeah prevvent us from tearin out each others gills an shit like that
CC: No it's net OK!
CA: or causin excessivve collateral damage
CC: )(ow can it be okay to ORP)(AN at least one troll each nig)(t just to keep the rest alive???
CA: not fuckin flip us halfway back to pale
CA: i havve half a mind ta swim ovver ta your wwishy wwashy hivve an showw you howw black i can get wwhen im motivvated
AA: 0k thats terrible i agree
TT: There are nights I think you have half a mind, full stop.
AA: but if al0ndes ancest0r summ0ned gl'bg0lyb there must be s0me way t0 send her back
CA: oh big talk from the faker
CA: this is me shakin in my shoes
AA: y0u said she sings with the 0ther h0rr0rterr0rs
AA: d0esnt that mean shed like t0 g0 h0me?
CA: i dont care howw you fooled evveryone else into thinkin youre so scary wwith your fake evvil magic wwhich is not a thing that evver existed and nevver wwill be
CC: MAYB-E.
CA: but im not afraid a you lon
CC: But it's not like I can un-summon )(er, and s)(e won't let Alonde get close enough)( to try anyfin eit)(er! 38(
TT: No, you're simply jealous instead. Feferi has told me all about your wizard pretensions. =:)
CC: )(-EY! You two, stop trying to flip black w)(ile I'm DISTRACT-ED!
TT: My apologies, Feferi.
CA: says you
TT: In any case, Aradia, I wanted to ask you to examine your dig site with a particular eye toward personal symbols
TT: especially those located in whatever equivalent of a palace or administrative center the town possesses.
TT: My Ancestor was sadly remiss in recording the symbols of her opponents, and I need to confirm or disprove a theory.
AA: sure n0 pr0blem!
AA: can i ask ab0ut y0ur the0ry 0r is it a secret?
TT: I'd prefer not to reveal it until I'm certain of its validity.
TT: I will say, however, that one of the latest dated entries in my Ancestor's records hints that the Demoness and Dayblade had discovered a method to at least partially block the effect of Gl'bgolyb's voice.
TT: You can see why this might be important.
CA: fuck no dont you go lookin for shit like that
CA: thats just askin for trouble
CA: you knoww wwhat her imperious condescension does ta people wwho start messin around wwith forbidden shit
CA: lon dont you dare pull me or fef into your little treason party
CC: SP-EAK FOR YOURS-ELF, YOU S)(-ELLFISH NUB)(-EAD. >38(
CC: I want to know everyt)(ing you find, Aradia!
AA: all right
AA: al0nde ill tr0ll y0u when i get h0me this m0rning
AA: y0u can set up an0ther mem0 then :)
TT: That sounds like an excellent plan. Until dawn, Aradia.
CC: Likewise!
CC: BY-----E ARADIA!!!
CA: yeah fuck no leavve me out a this
TT: No problem. You will be otherwise occupied in any case.
CA: an wwhat exactly is that supposed to meaohshitwwhatthefuckisthatgetitoffawerhauoieht25
TT: =:)
TT: c3<
TT banned CA from responding to memo.
CC: NAUG)(TY! 38)
CC: c3<
TT: c3<
TT banned CC from responding to memo.
AA: y0u kn0w i cant really tell which 0f y0u is auspisticizing f0r which 0ther tw0
AA: but y0ure awfully cute :)
AA: later al0nde!
TT: If you could tell, I'd have to kill you.
TT: That's a joke, by the way.
TT: Goodbye, Aradia. =;)
TT banned AA from responding to memo.
TT closed memo.
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What next? Remember, Alonde is a couple hours ahead of Jarlia's bad dream at this point. We have time to kill. :-)
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continue to part 7
Oh my god, TOO MANY PEOPLE TALKING AT ONCE. (In colors that are too close to each other, no less.) As you can see, I tried to make some concessions to how online conversations actually go, with people talking over one another and multiple conversation threads co-existing in confusing fashion, though for the sake of narrative flow this is still more coherent than real life would probably be.
It's also a giant backstory and world-building infodump. Because I can, and because if that sort of lecture is in-character for anybody, Rose is that person. Or Alonde is that troll. Whatever. :-)
Warning: long memo is long! It's hard to gauge wordcounts on chatlogs, but I think this section clocks in around 3,000 words. I did break it up with a bit of narrative for sheer formatting relief, but even so. LONG. :-/
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Trollstuck, part 6
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====>Talk to all of them at once
You are doubtful that this is the most efficient way to proceed, but sometimes your desire to observe interesting interpersonal interactions gets away from you. There are three other points in favor of this plan. Firstly, you are rather annoyed at Eridan yourself -- after all these sweeps, it might be nice for him to show some sign that he's working to understand his various psychological issues -- and you wouldn't mind rubbing his fins in his blood-rank assumptions for a while. Secondly, you believe, from what various of your friends have told you over the sweeps, that Feferi and Aradia get on like a tidal wave -- they both have a way of cheerfully rolling over obstacles in their paths. Thirdly... well, that would be telling.
You send all three an invitation to join a memo on your private bulletin board.
====>Open memo
tentacleTormentrix [TT] opened memo on board DOWN IN THE DEEP.
TT: Somenight I must remember to thank Sollux for explaining the intricacies of Trollian's memo function to me.
TT: It is a deeply counterintuitive program, despite its usefulness.
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo.
CA: hey lon howws it wwavvin
CA: wwhats up wwith this memo shit
CA: is there some reason wwe cant just talk normally or somefin
cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo.
CC: GLUB!!
CC: )(ow are you, ALOND-E?
CC: You )(ave to kelp me with Mister Grumpy Fins over )(ere or I may STAB )(IM TO D-EAT)(!
CA: hey noww
CC: )(e is being SUC)( A PAIN!!!
CA: yeah an wwhat about you
CA: takes twwo ta tango fef
TT: If you wish me to mediate, it might behoove you to explain the origin of your fight.
TT: I cannot verbally resolve an argument without knowing its subject.
CC: W)(at do we -EV-ER fig)(t about t)(ese nig)(ts?
CC: )(e's talking about genocide again!
CA: i resent that i said nofin about actually killin anybody this time
CA: since wwhen is it a crime to wwonder about stuff
CC: SINC-E YOU N-EV-ER STOP AT WOND-ERING, -----ERIDAN!!! >38(
CC: Also I found anot)(er doomsday device in )(is )(ive!
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo.
AA: g0sh, is this a bad time?
CA: an wwhat wwere you doing snoopin around my ship hmm
AA: i can tr0ll y0u back ar0und dawn my time al0nde
CA: you wwant me ta come dowwn and mess wwith all your stuff
CC: T)(AT'S NOT T)(-E POINT! T)(AT'S NOT ANY OF T)(----E GLUBBING POINTS!
CC: I don't )(ave anyt)(ing to )(ide.
CA: yeah thats wwhat they all say
AA: 0h dear
TT: Please stay, Aradia.
TT: I wanted to talk with you before you return to your excavations. There are some things I would like you to look for in particular.
CA: lon youre supposed ta be payin attention to us not your fuckin creepy squidbeast communion shit
CC: )(i, Aradia! Glub glub glub! 38)
TT: There is a skill known as multitasking. You might look into it.
CC: I'm sorry Mister Grumpy Fins is being SUC)( A J-ERK.
AA: hi feferi! :)
AA: im s0rry im interrupting y0u guys
CA: you fuckin wwell should be
CC: )(-------EY!
TT: I invited her, Eridan.
AA: even if multitasking is a thing that is happening maybe we sh0uld m0ve 0ur c0nversati0n t0 a separate wind0w
TT: If you wish to express animosity, aim it at the correct target.
TT: Or else.
CC: W)(at she said!
AA: i really feel like a third wheel 0n a tw0-wheel device here
TT: Shush, all of you.
CA: thats because YOU ARE
TT: Eridan, do shut up.
CC: Y---EA)(!
TT: Feferi, please don't interrupt.
AA: ...ill be quiet t00 i guess
TT: Thank you, Aradia.
TT: Now. Eridan and Feferi, I need to sort you two out as soon as possible, but I also need to talk to Aradia within a very limited time window.
TT: The plan, therefore, is for you two to contribute to our discussion in a productive fashion.
TT: With luck, this brief interlude of cooperation will remind you that you are civilized trolls.
CA: i resent the implications a that statement
TT: Failing that, you should at least learn more about the history of
TT: Eridan, what did I say about shutting up?
CA: like im scared a you lon
TT: Excuse me for a minute.
====>Alonde: Make him scared
You step away from your husktop, reflecting on the chain of events that has brought you to this pass. Sentimentality has largely restrained you from demonstrating your abilities on your friends, let alone on trolls for whom you nursed confused romantic inclinations for nearly two sweeps before their unbalanced moirallegiance finally imploded and gave you a chance to propose a new relationship to them both. You still have no need to demonstrate anything on Feferi; she understands perfectly well the dangers of the Abyss, both Without and Within. But Eridan is an empiricist, and a dreadfully closed-minded one at that.
A Visitation will do him good.
You dive down the stairs into the underwater portion of your hive, your black skirt catching the current that runs through your hive and belling out around your legs as you swim. You pay no attention to the scattered statues of ocean fauna, nor to the numerous piles of carved stone tablets you have found hidden in secret caches in oceanic trenches over the past several sweeps. You head straight for the balcony where you keep your pets leashed.
You've never understood what most trolls have against giant squid. They're very graceful, intelligent creatures, and quite easy to train once you've learned to commune with the primal darkness of the abyssal plains.
You select a sleek young thing with elegant tentacles and a dainty beak and lay your hand between its eyes. As shadows flow from your fingers, you begin to speak.
====>X;pfGT"^Foi%21sJBq*(
Your next actions are unfortunately blanked out by a fundamental interface error between the Outer Darkness and mundane reality. Also, the sound of your speech, even transcribed, would most likely cause computers to explode.
The narrator is attempting to cobble together a workaround for this bug, as it may become an issue if we continue following you.
For now, let's skip ahead a minute or two.
====>Alonde: Return to your computer
You hastily return upstairs and scan the conversation that has taken place while you were gone.
CC: Now you're in for it!
CA: in for wwhat
CA: a bunch a fakey fake fuckin mumbo jumbo shit
CC: ALOND-E IS NOT A FAK-ER!
CA: she only scares people cause they let themselvves be scared
CA: its all in the mind
CC: IF ANYON-E'S A GLUBBING FAK-ER, IT'S YOU!!!
CA: people jump at shadows an then they say oh no alondes comin ta eat me
AA: just because y0ur wizards are imaginary d0esnt mean al0ndes summ0ns arent real!
AA: ive sp0ken with tr0lls shes killed
AA: the h0rr0rterr0rs exist even if y0u d0nt believe in them
CC: And t)(ey are )(UNGRY!
CA: yeah right
CA: so howw come ivve knowwn her for swweeps an swweeps an ivve never seen so much as a fuckin sucker mark on my railings
AA: this is just a the0ry
AA: but p0ssibly she kept her experiments away because she likes y0u
AA: in an ashen manner 0r 0therwise
AA: and didnt want t0 scare y0u 0ff?
CC: Besides, you s)(oaldn't need proof. You kelp me feed Gl'bgolyb!
CA: wwhats your lusus got ta do with anyfin
CC: W)(AT T)(-E S)(-----ELL DID I DO TO G-ET STUCK WIT)( SUC)( A GLUBBING D-EPT)( BLIND IDIOT LIK-E YOU IN ON-E OF MY QUADRANTS??? >38(
CA: wwait
CA: wwhat
CC: Gl'bgolyb IS a )(ORRORT----------ERROR!
AA: really?
CC: Yes, reelly!
CC: S)(e's been awfully evasive on t)(e subject, but a few perigees ago I finally managed to coral )(er into admitting t)(at t)(e voices she sings wit)( sometimes are )(er friends in t)(e OUT-ER DARKN-ESS!
CA: you havve got ta be shittin me
CC: I wanted to get Alonde to translate, but Gl'bgolyb got reelly N-ERVOUS around )(er for some reason!
CC: She started raising )(er voice!
CC: A few )(undred lowbloods on the coast nearest to my )(ive DI------ED!!!
CA: good riddance
AA: s0 thats what caused all th0se c0nfused gh0sts!
AA: i w0ndered ab0ut that
AA: its a neat way t0 die but im glad i live 0n the 0ther side 0f the main c0ntinent
CC: Me too! 38)
CC: And -Eridan, S)(UT UP!
CC: I'm going to be -Empress of ALL the trolls, not just seadwellers. -EV-ERY life matters!
====>Rejoin memo
TT: On that note, Eridan, I would like to direct your attention to a logical flaw in your hatred for landdwellers.
TT: Consider: we are all born from the mother grubs.
TT: Where do they live? On the land.
CA: oh gog not lecture time again
TT: Who tends them? Jadebloods, who are landdwellers.
TT: This further suggests that mother grubs themselves are jadeblooded and share the psychic sensitivities of that caste, as well as the inability to live underwater.
TT: Therefore, if you ever succeeded in killing all landdwellers, you would simultaneously doom our race.
CC: )(A! TAK-E T)(AT!
CA: yeah okay so theres a couple a minor logistical gaps in my plans that might need adjustin
CA: doesnt mean the basic concept is wworthless
CA: anywway returnin to the point i dont see wwhy im supposed to be scared a you lon
CA: like oh no the shadowws are growwin teeth and tryin ta eat me
CA: except wwait theyre not
CA: oops funny howw that wworks
TT: All in good time, Eridan. All in good time.
TT: =:)
AA: ...s0meh0w it makes me nerv0us when y0u use smilies
TT: =:D
CC: I t)(ink I know w)(at you mean, Aradia.
CA: bunch a wwimps
TT: I am forced to agree with Eridan. =:)
TT: But let us move onward.
TT: Aradia, am I remembering correctly that you said your latest excavation site appears to date back before the Imperial Era, judging by the irregular use of personal symbols?
AA: yes!
AA: which is very exciting
AA: i didn't expect t0 find anything that 0ld still undisturbed and als0 this well preserved!
AA: i d0nt think the tr0lls wh0 lived there were happy t0 be buried alive by a v0lcan0 but its awfully lucky for me
CA: and youre one a the people tellin me im deficient in compassion
CC: Because you AR-E!
CC: T)(ose trolls would )(ave died t)(housands of sweeps ago anyway! Anyone YOU krill would still be alive except for you!
CA: says the girl wwhose lusus eats other peoples lusii by the dozen
CC: 38(
TT: Hold that thought for later, please.
CA: yeah sure wwhatevver lon
CA: i livve ta please
CC: Like s)(ip you do!
TT: MOVING ONWARD.
TT: One of my contacts led me to yet another of my Ancestor's caches last week. Tonight I finally finished interpreting the tablets.
TT: They relate to the unification of our race under Her Imperial Condescension, and the various leaders of landdweller resistance to her rule,
TT: the most important of them being the Grand Highblood, the Gardener, the Gamelord, and a pair of figures you may have heard of:
TT: Dayblade and the Demoness, who lived at the foot of an active volcano on the eastern coast of the main continent.
AA: !!!
AA: i th0ught they were just bedtime st0ries my lusus liked to tell
AA: all ab0ut the daring rustbl00d her0es wh0 tricked their way ar0und the caste laws
AA: st0le fr0m the rich and gave t0 the p00r
AA: saved psychics fr0m being enslaved
AA: and s0 0n
AA: like the gamblignants except n0t at sea and n0t s0 selfish
CC: No one will enslave your moirail! I PROMIS-E!! GLUB GLUB GLUB 3:)
AA: and pr0bably n0t real either
CA: wwhat kind a shitty stories does your lusus knoww
AA: thank y0u feferi :)
CA: they wwerent heroes they were pitch black vvillains
AA: even if i d0nt kn0w if s0llux is pale f0r me back
CA: people called dayblade the assassin
CC: I am sure )(e is as pale as sun-bleached coral!
CA: wwhich is like a laughsassin only kinkier if you knoww wwhat i mean
CC: ---ERIDAN!!!!! >38(
CA: and the demoness wwas also knowwn as deaths handmaid
CA: on account a howw many trolls she killed
CC: So t)(ey killed people. So w)(at? T)(ey were AT WAR!
TT: Precisely.
TT: This was a war of all against all -- or at least that is what Feferi's Ancestor wished the landdwellers to believe
TT: so they would waste their time and strength fighting each other and thus be easier prey for her own forces.
TT: But resistance proved fiercer than she had expected, which is when she turned to my Ancestor for other methods.
AA: ...
AA: like v0lcan0es?
TT: I believe that eruption was coincidental.
TT: However, the Demoness and Dayblade escaped the destruction of their home and quickly began to recruit new followers from the population of lowblood psychics.
TT: Clearly the Condesce needed a weapon to counter them.
CC: 38(
CA: dont you sadface at us fef
CA: go on lon this is gettin interesting
TT: Why should I continue? The conclusion is obvious.
CA: no its fuckin not
CA: wwhat did your ancestor do
AA: wait
AA: are y0u saying?
TT: Yes.
AA: h0py sit!
CC: I'M SO S)(OR-EY!!!
AA: its n0t y0ur fault feferi!
AA: its n0t al0ndes fault either
AA: all ancest0rs d0 is sh0w us a path
AA: that d0esnt mean y0u have t0 f0llow it
AA: everyb0dy gets t0 ch00se her 0wn way!
CA: i still got no clue wwhat youre all blitherin on aboat
CC: T)(e Magician summoned and woke Gl'bgolyb! )(ow -ELS-E would a )(ORRORT-ERROR come to live on Alternia???
CC: )(er voice )(hurts lowbloods first, t)(en )(ighbloods, and t)(hen seadwellers last of all!
TT: But not you. And not the Condesce either.
TT: That was your Ancestor's condition for the summoning.
CC: AND I )(AT----E IT!
CC: Not )(er, I don't )(ate )(-ER, of course, s)(e's my LUSUS.
AA: and she br0ught y0u up very well!
AA: :)
CC: But I )(ate t)(e way s)(e's always lurking in the back of people's )(eads, and I )(ate w)(at -Eridan and I )(ave to do to keep )(er )(appy, and I )(ate that s)(e's kelped my Ancestor -ENSLAV-E OUR W)(OL-E SP-ECI-ES FOR T)(OUSANDS OF SW-E-EPS, and I )(ate t)(at I can't do anyt)(ing to FIX IT!!!
CA: aww fuck
CA: noww look wwhat youvve done lon
AA: feferi!!!
CA: shell be miserable for nights
CA: howw am i supposed to fight her wwhen shes actin so pitiful
AA: its 0k feferi i pr0mise!
CA: you fuckin ruin evveryfin you huge wwitch
TT: Somehow, I have been under the impression that my job as your auspistice is to prevent you two from fighting. Have I been mistaken all these perigees?
CA: yeah prevvent us from tearin out each others gills an shit like that
CC: No it's net OK!
CA: or causin excessivve collateral damage
CC: )(ow can it be okay to ORP)(AN at least one troll each nig)(t just to keep the rest alive???
CA: not fuckin flip us halfway back to pale
CA: i havve half a mind ta swim ovver ta your wwishy wwashy hivve an showw you howw black i can get wwhen im motivvated
AA: 0k thats terrible i agree
TT: There are nights I think you have half a mind, full stop.
AA: but if al0ndes ancest0r summ0ned gl'bg0lyb there must be s0me way t0 send her back
CA: oh big talk from the faker
CA: this is me shakin in my shoes
AA: y0u said she sings with the 0ther h0rr0rterr0rs
AA: d0esnt that mean shed like t0 g0 h0me?
CA: i dont care howw you fooled evveryone else into thinkin youre so scary wwith your fake evvil magic wwhich is not a thing that evver existed and nevver wwill be
CC: MAYB-E.
CA: but im not afraid a you lon
CC: But it's not like I can un-summon )(er, and s)(e won't let Alonde get close enough)( to try anyfin eit)(er! 38(
TT: No, you're simply jealous instead. Feferi has told me all about your wizard pretensions. =:)
CC: )(-EY! You two, stop trying to flip black w)(ile I'm DISTRACT-ED!
TT: My apologies, Feferi.
CA: says you
TT: In any case, Aradia, I wanted to ask you to examine your dig site with a particular eye toward personal symbols
TT: especially those located in whatever equivalent of a palace or administrative center the town possesses.
TT: My Ancestor was sadly remiss in recording the symbols of her opponents, and I need to confirm or disprove a theory.
AA: sure n0 pr0blem!
AA: can i ask ab0ut y0ur the0ry 0r is it a secret?
TT: I'd prefer not to reveal it until I'm certain of its validity.
TT: I will say, however, that one of the latest dated entries in my Ancestor's records hints that the Demoness and Dayblade had discovered a method to at least partially block the effect of Gl'bgolyb's voice.
TT: You can see why this might be important.
CA: fuck no dont you go lookin for shit like that
CA: thats just askin for trouble
CA: you knoww wwhat her imperious condescension does ta people wwho start messin around wwith forbidden shit
CA: lon dont you dare pull me or fef into your little treason party
CC: SP-EAK FOR YOURS-ELF, YOU S)(-ELLFISH NUB)(-EAD. >38(
CC: I want to know everyt)(ing you find, Aradia!
AA: all right
AA: al0nde ill tr0ll y0u when i get h0me this m0rning
AA: y0u can set up an0ther mem0 then :)
TT: That sounds like an excellent plan. Until dawn, Aradia.
CC: Likewise!
CC: BY-----E ARADIA!!!
CA: yeah fuck no leavve me out a this
TT: No problem. You will be otherwise occupied in any case.
CA: an wwhat exactly is that supposed to meaohshitwwhatthefuckisthatgetitoffawerhauoieht25
TT: =:)
TT: c3<
TT banned CA from responding to memo.
CC: NAUG)(TY! 38)
CC: c3<
TT: c3<
TT banned CC from responding to memo.
AA: y0u kn0w i cant really tell which 0f y0u is auspisticizing f0r which 0ther tw0
AA: but y0ure awfully cute :)
AA: later al0nde!
TT: If you could tell, I'd have to kill you.
TT: That's a joke, by the way.
TT: Goodbye, Aradia. =;)
TT banned AA from responding to memo.
TT closed memo.
---------------
---------------
---------------
What next? Remember, Alonde is a couple hours ahead of Jarlia's bad dream at this point. We have time to kill. :-)
---------------------------------------------
continue to part 7
Oh my god, TOO MANY PEOPLE TALKING AT ONCE. (In colors that are too close to each other, no less.) As you can see, I tried to make some concessions to how online conversations actually go, with people talking over one another and multiple conversation threads co-existing in confusing fashion, though for the sake of narrative flow this is still more coherent than real life would probably be.
It's also a giant backstory and world-building infodump. Because I can, and because if that sort of lecture is in-character for anybody, Rose is that person. Or Alonde is that troll. Whatever. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2012-04-30 02:39 pm (UTC)CA: wwhich is like a laughsassin only kinkier if you knoww wwhat i mean
... oh eridan that was so bad. XDDD
I am super mega enjying the voices, and now i am also super mega wanting to know more about the background and how history went different aaaahhh. *flails* I have no idea how to get more of that though! ;__;
(no subject)
Date: 2012-05-01 02:30 am (UTC)... oh eridan that was so bad. XDDD
I could not resist that line. Could. Not. Resist. :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2012-05-01 02:08 pm (UTC)