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edenfallingTwo reviews I got yesterday for "The Way of the Apartment Manager"
Chapter: 11. Chapter 11
From: Guest
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:Why can people never keep their OCs believable?
I mean, if a story starts with a washed out genin that has not trained for half a decade, OF COURSE they will start beating Uchias and Hyuugas in the 1vs1 fights. I mean, its ovious. Cannot be any different.
Now if this ends up also in an OC Kakashi pairing, than ths stealth mary sue self insert is perfect. No better way to fish for compliments than start pretenting to be pathetic, after all (remember that 4 weeks ago in story, she was not eable to hit anything moving with a kunai?)
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Chapter: 16. Chapter 16
From: Guest
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:Ok, the whole team was promoted. As if it had not been so obvious from the first time the "missfit team" did meet.
Booring.
Sorry, I was expecting something different form the story (and the good I head about it). Not 14 chapters of yet another stupid chuunin exam which is aced by Team OC.
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*sigh* *carefully does not correct the glaring spelling and grammar errors* *is totally petty enough to point out that said errors exist and are not being corrected*
Dear Guest,
Thank you for reviewing anonymously so I cannot respond to you directly. It's a very efficient method for starting a productive conversation!
It may have escaped your attention, but "The Way of the Apartment Manager" is fanfiction for a SHONEN manga. So yes, of course the "misfit team" is going to learn to work together and overcome obstacles, and the "washed out genin" is going to beat strong opponents. That is how the genre works. In fact, I did my damndest to make my story feel like it could slide right into the manga, so that lack of "something different" you are complaining about? Was deliberate. Because shockingly enough, I like the manga.
(Incidentally, I will bet a hundred dollars you would not be bitching if the main character were a boy or man who was in the manga for all of two pages but followed the exact same arc that Yukiko, a female OC, does.)
As for Yukiko being a "stealth mary sue self insert" who I am using to "fish for compliments" -- well, yes, she does share a number of traits with me. So does Naga. So does Iruka. So do Kakashi, Naruto, Yusuke, Taizen, and pretty much every character in the story. It's hard to write people if you can't find something in them to identify with! Interestingly enough, that does not mean any of the characters are self-inserts.
If I were going to insert myself into Konoha, I'd be a librarian, a civilian teacher, or maybe a waitress. My life would be boring as fuck, and I'd be a nameless off-page casualty in an epic moment of somebody else's life... unless I was smart and got off my ass and moved out of town, because an exciting life is the last thing I want. Boring lives are much more comfortable. (Also, I would not adopt Naruto. I know my flaws, and two of the big ones are selfishness and apathy.)
I freely admit I am using Yukiko and her story to fish for compliments, though. If any writers say they aren't fishing for compliments on their work, when their work is publically posted on a site with a free review mechanism available, they are lying through their teeth.
Thank you for sharing your opinions on my story. Hopefully you will find something you enjoy reading more, or even write something yourself! Maybe you could work on a story in which Naruto turns out to be a misogynistic serial killer and the entirety of the manga is a hallucination induced by Sasuke, who is an investigator trying to find the location of Naruto's last victim (Sakura) before she starves to death in a sex dungeon. Perhaps that would be "different" enough for you. :-)
Sincerely,
Liz
Chapter: 11. Chapter 11
From: Guest
-------------------
:Why can people never keep their OCs believable?
I mean, if a story starts with a washed out genin that has not trained for half a decade, OF COURSE they will start beating Uchias and Hyuugas in the 1vs1 fights. I mean, its ovious. Cannot be any different.
Now if this ends up also in an OC Kakashi pairing, than ths stealth mary sue self insert is perfect. No better way to fish for compliments than start pretenting to be pathetic, after all (remember that 4 weeks ago in story, she was not eable to hit anything moving with a kunai?)
-------------------
Chapter: 16. Chapter 16
From: Guest
-------------------
:Ok, the whole team was promoted. As if it had not been so obvious from the first time the "missfit team" did meet.
Booring.
Sorry, I was expecting something different form the story (and the good I head about it). Not 14 chapters of yet another stupid chuunin exam which is aced by Team OC.
-------------------
*sigh* *carefully does not correct the glaring spelling and grammar errors* *is totally petty enough to point out that said errors exist and are not being corrected*
Dear Guest,
Thank you for reviewing anonymously so I cannot respond to you directly. It's a very efficient method for starting a productive conversation!
It may have escaped your attention, but "The Way of the Apartment Manager" is fanfiction for a SHONEN manga. So yes, of course the "misfit team" is going to learn to work together and overcome obstacles, and the "washed out genin" is going to beat strong opponents. That is how the genre works. In fact, I did my damndest to make my story feel like it could slide right into the manga, so that lack of "something different" you are complaining about? Was deliberate. Because shockingly enough, I like the manga.
(Incidentally, I will bet a hundred dollars you would not be bitching if the main character were a boy or man who was in the manga for all of two pages but followed the exact same arc that Yukiko, a female OC, does.)
As for Yukiko being a "stealth mary sue self insert" who I am using to "fish for compliments" -- well, yes, she does share a number of traits with me. So does Naga. So does Iruka. So do Kakashi, Naruto, Yusuke, Taizen, and pretty much every character in the story. It's hard to write people if you can't find something in them to identify with! Interestingly enough, that does not mean any of the characters are self-inserts.
If I were going to insert myself into Konoha, I'd be a librarian, a civilian teacher, or maybe a waitress. My life would be boring as fuck, and I'd be a nameless off-page casualty in an epic moment of somebody else's life... unless I was smart and got off my ass and moved out of town, because an exciting life is the last thing I want. Boring lives are much more comfortable. (Also, I would not adopt Naruto. I know my flaws, and two of the big ones are selfishness and apathy.)
I freely admit I am using Yukiko and her story to fish for compliments, though. If any writers say they aren't fishing for compliments on their work, when their work is publically posted on a site with a free review mechanism available, they are lying through their teeth.
Thank you for sharing your opinions on my story. Hopefully you will find something you enjoy reading more, or even write something yourself! Maybe you could work on a story in which Naruto turns out to be a misogynistic serial killer and the entirety of the manga is a hallucination induced by Sasuke, who is an investigator trying to find the location of Naruto's last victim (Sakura) before she starves to death in a sex dungeon. Perhaps that would be "different" enough for you. :-)
Sincerely,
Liz
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Date: 2012-08-04 02:59 am (UTC)In this case, s/he made a point of continuing to read and vent along the way. Though, I guess I've gotten that too, come to think of it. The person gets on a roll and wants to continue to vent his/her unhappiness.
::Pats:: Yeah, been there, done that, got the t shirt.