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edenfallingStory Summary: CoS according to Ginny. Nobody noticed anything wrong for an entire year -- how did she slip so far from her family and friends? Angst and betrayal, but also mysteries, jokes, an enchanted suit of armor, and a guaranteed happy ending. WIP. (Content warnings: clinical depression, hints of suicidal ideation, possession, emotionally abusive relationship)
Chapter Summary: "Chamber of Secrets" from Ginny's point of view. In this chapter, Ginny writes in her new diary, Harry and Ron miss the Hogwarts Express, Hermione frets, and Ginny meets two girls on the train.
Wow. This chapter is brick-to-the-face unsubtle, in the way I banged on about secrets, privacy, "personal" things, mortification, and Ginny's awkwardness at dealing with people who aren't members of her family. Also, given how bad I am at remembering Ginny's crush on Harry in later chapters, it is amazing how frequently she thinks about him here.
I hadn't started repunctuating Rowling's dialogue to make it fit my own style, and in fact was actively bending MY dialogue toward hers a bit. Awkward!
There are way too many semi-colons. The semi-colon is a noble and useful punctuation mark, but ten years ago I was in the habit of writing academic essays and tended to get carried away with producing carefully balanced multi-clause sentences. That works just fine for nonfiction literary analysis (or chemistry lab reports, pick your poison), but not so well in narrative fiction written from the POV of an eleven-year-old girl.
I like the bits with Tom and the diary, though. Those are good.
Chapter Summary: "Chamber of Secrets" from Ginny's point of view. In this chapter, Ginny writes in her new diary, Harry and Ron miss the Hogwarts Express, Hermione frets, and Ginny meets two girls on the train.
Wow. This chapter is brick-to-the-face unsubtle, in the way I banged on about secrets, privacy, "personal" things, mortification, and Ginny's awkwardness at dealing with people who aren't members of her family. Also, given how bad I am at remembering Ginny's crush on Harry in later chapters, it is amazing how frequently she thinks about him here.
I hadn't started repunctuating Rowling's dialogue to make it fit my own style, and in fact was actively bending MY dialogue toward hers a bit. Awkward!
There are way too many semi-colons. The semi-colon is a noble and useful punctuation mark, but ten years ago I was in the habit of writing academic essays and tended to get carried away with producing carefully balanced multi-clause sentences. That works just fine for nonfiction literary analysis (or chemistry lab reports, pick your poison), but not so well in narrative fiction written from the POV of an eleven-year-old girl.
I like the bits with Tom and the diary, though. Those are good.
