another dispatch from the department of strange reviews

[edenfalling]

I got this comment today on a slash story from several years ago:

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It's old. It's odd. It's short. And I am homophobic.

But still, it's good for a laugh, and definitely WAFF-y. :) I like it.
---------------

...

Um. That. What???

I sent a neutral response because I can't help suspecting this person is a troll, but I wanted to say something more like this:

Dear [Redacted],

You don't need to tell me that you're homophobic before praising my story. In fact, please don't.

I am willing to concede that your intent may have been along the lines of, "I don't usually like Pairing X but you wrote it well enough that I enjoyed the story anyway," but you know something? I am not thrilled by those reviews either. I understand that they're meant to compliment my writing ability by saying I persuaded readers to like something they usually dislike, but... I don't actually need to know that you usually dislike the aspect in question, whatever it is. Just say you enjoyed the story, no qualifications necessary. That is more than enough of a compliment -- and in this particular case, also avoids the problem of making me feel vaguely icky in a complicit fashion.

--Liz

Comments

[jjhunter]

o_0

You get the strangest reviewers over at ye olde Pit of Voles...

[edenfalling]

To be fair, I've had a few blink-twice reviews at AO3 (and some damn weird ones on FictionAlley back in the day), but ff.net certainly does seem to have a higher percentage.

[askerian]

... *headdesk* -___- wow what convinced them it was an acceptable thing to say to a complete stranger. DID YOU WANT A COOKIE? ffff.

[edenfalling]

I don't know! It was VERY STRANGE.

[branchandroot]

*hand over eyes* That's an award winner, all right. Eww.

[edenfalling]

It gets weirder. He sent a humorous, coherent response to my response explaining that he found my stories via a rec binge through TVTropes and various Spacebattles forums -- the latter of which would definitely explain the "oh help, it's slash" reaction -- and finally got around to reading 'the, uh, less epic-ly named fics out there. +grins+' (See what I mean about him having an actual sense of humor?) Then he started reading some of my other stories after hitting the last posted chapter of "Guardian," and I guess didn't stop to check the author's note of the slash fic in question before he'd gotten caught up in the majority of the story that is not, you know, two men having sex.

I just. Why does introducing yourself by saying "Hi, I'm a homophobe!" ever, ever, EVER seem like a reasonable idea? Particularly to a person who seems otherwise capable of putting words together in a reasonable fashion?

[branchandroot]

I honestly have no clue. It happens depressingly often. Like people think it's some kind of acceptable character trait or /eccentricity/, and not disgusting bigotry. Worlds of argh.

[edenfalling]

Hmm. Going off on a tangent, I wonder if some of it is a lack of vocabulary for discussing kink preferences? It seems to me that the male sections of fandom are much less versed in that sort of thing, and so don't have the background to realize that preferring not to read slash does not necessarily mean they are homophobic. Not finding something sexy in fiction does not automatically translate to abominating that thing in real life. (I grant you, in this particular case there is obviously a LOT of overlap, but even so.)

[branchandroot]

I wouldn't be surprised if there's some of that. The /straight/ male sections of fandom seem to shear off from those discussions just as hard as they do from the actual slash, because omg girl-sex. *rolls eyes mightily*

[krait]

...Wow. And 'ow'.

I suddenly feel very lucky that my only "don't like X"-esque comment on a fic was such a mild version! That is kind of vaguely squicky, in that same way as when RL people I scarcely know try to tell me about their sex life/family problems/medical issues/opinions on generic groups of people. D:

[edenfalling]

This is definitely one of the more uncomfortable reviews I have received. The other contenders include some old "Apartment Manager" reviews that opened with 'I'm so glad this story isn't slash,' which has always struck me as a deeply weird reaction to a gen story, plus some reviews for Narnia fanfic that, whether tacitly or explicitly, assume that I share the reviewers' particular religious beliefs. It's hard to know how to respond to either of those, so I tend to avoid addressing the issues entirely and just send a generic 'Thanks for reviewing' sort of response.

[krait]

Definitely! I am vaguely boggled.

opened with 'I'm so glad this story isn't slash,'

Hahaha, this is basically what my own weird review was! Not the opening line, but the sentiment was the main focus of the comment. (With some emphasis as to how it's not necessary for it to go into slash territory because it can just be friendship... This on a fic with "pre-slash" in the tags.)

I find that "thanks for your comment! I'm glad that the story worked for you" is a very good generic reply to mind-boggling comments. :D

[emmee-kay.livejournal.com]

I think everybody gets a WTF review from time to time.

Here's my latest (on ff.net):

"Nice! I liked the concept a lot!
If your story had been a little bit more detailed, clear and concise, it would have made a world of a difference, but all in all, I enjoyed it.
Thanks!"

And then, weirdly, they followed it up with a PM that said:

"I forgot to let you know..
i LOVED the whole Minato being a tattoo artist thing and them all being Yakuza.
You should take that to new heights, definitely! Right now I'm in the process of writing something like 'Kakashi's a master tattoo artist, Iruka's a piercer, etc.'
I'm a tattoo artist to-be, so.. X)
I'm done now."

(This is for a one-shot, marked complete.)

I mean, whuh? I guess if the review was more detailed, clear and concise about what exactly they didn't like, then maybe I could take it for actual constructive criticism and change those things. As it was, I didn't reply - because what can a person say to something like that? (Or to yours, either.)

[edenfalling]

Yeah -- that would be a lot more helpful if the reviewer bothered to say which parts of the story needed more detail, or clarity, or concision. And then to continue by saying, "Oh, I loved part X and I'm writing a story focused on a similar idea so you should obviously write more about that particular idea!" is, um, strange to say the least. *headdesk*

I am mostly grateful that my WTF reviews are just that -- random instances of WTF -- rather than the hateful screeds I have seen other people receive under the guise of "feedback."

[akatsuki210.livejournal.com]

LOL, that definitely beats most of the reviews I've gotten in terms of sheer weirdness.

I actually like it when people say "I don't usually like this pairing/character/series/genre, but this was really good." I guess I feel like the story must have been really awesome if it won over someone who was probably predisposed to dislike it.

[edenfalling]

It was prety weird, yeah.

Hmm. I made a poll about this, actually (here on my DW journal), because while in theory I agree that those comments are flattering, in practice I often find myself getting defensive and confused instead -- less, "Wow, I'm an awesome writer!" and more "But what's wrong with X and why were you reading my story if you don't like it?" *shrug*