[Fic] "Zero-Sum Fallacy" -- Naruto
Jul. 18th, 2013 03:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingThis fic is a response to the Cotton Candy Bingo prompt don't need to get married. (I realize the amnesty posting period is over, but it's always useful to have a source of prompts on hand. *grin*) This fic is also part of the Summer Camp & Politics AU, because why not.
Summary: Sasuke doesn't want to harm Naruto's election prospects. Naruto and Sakura have other priorities. NaruSasu, implied NaruSasuSaku. (1,200 words)
[ETA: The AO3 crosspost is now up.]
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Zero-Sum Fallacy
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"You should marry Sakura," Sasuke said.
Naruto rolled over on the bed and blinked sleepily toward the doorway. "Unh. Hey, 'ske. Th' fuck took y' s'long, y're s'posed t' be home hours ago."
"Paperwork expands to fill the available time. You know this."
"'N why're y' still dressed?"
"I didn't want to offend the paperwork's delicate sensibilities," Sasuke said, deadpan. He reached sideways and flicked on the wall sconce, biting back a smile at Naruto's wince.
"Fuck paperwork an' fuck you too," Naruto said, dragging a pillow over and jamming it onto his face. "Warn a guy when you're gonna hit the lights, hey? There's this thing called being polite, I know Sakura's beat it into your head as much as she beats it into mine." He arched his back, stretching like a cat under the thin sheet. The window was open to let in the cooler night air, and the breeze carried the scent of the garden -- late summer rain on dry ground and leaves -- up to fill the bedroom, mingling with the musk of sweat and sex.
The lion in his den, Sasuke thought, untamable by any man. But Naruto came light and laughing to Sakura's touch. It was probably a sign.
"Surely the great hereditary shaman of a fire spirit can handle one piddling little electric light bulb," Sasuke said. "But speaking of Sakura. You should marry her."
This time the words registered. Naruto stilled, fingers digging into the pillow as if he wanted to shred it to tiny scraps of cloth and feathers.
"You wanna repeat that, bastard?"
"It's good politics," Sasuke said, keeping his voice steady and calm. "Marriage will make you seem more responsible, less immature. She'll have a perfect excuse to attend your meetings and whisper tactics into your ear. And it will stop a number of awkward rumors dead in their tracks."
Naruto threw the pillow toward the door. It fell several feet short; Sasuke didn't even bother to flinch.
"I'm not suggesting we end--"
"Yes you are," Naruto interrupted. "Don't be deliberately stupid. If Sakura married me and we didn't break up with you, that'd just make new and nastier rumors, plus it'd make me look like a giant two-timing lying dickface instead of a solid guy you'd trust to have your country's best interests in mind."
He propped himself up on his elbows and glared at Sasuke, his scars pale lines against the tanned skin of his face and shoulders. "We talked about this, you know, me and Sakura. She figured you'd pull some dick 'for your own good' escape move sooner or later. I said no, he's not that dumb, he knows we're in this together and we can't pull it off -- the reforms or the mushy stuff -- without all three of us. Way to repay my faith, asshole. I feel really honored."
Sasuke crossed his arms and looked away, toward the window and the twenty-four hour glare of Konoha's urban center. "I'm not backing out of the reforms. I would never--"
"Well, obviously."
"--but you're wrong about the other part. You don't need me. You managed while I was in the Academy and on the front lines. That's eight years without me. You work together like-- like a Spec Ops team, always on, nothing wasted. I don't fit. I'm just sand in the gears."
Naruto threw another pillow, hard enough that Sasuke needed to duck. He followed it with his whole body, leaping wildly from the bed and tackling Sasuke to the bedroom floor.
He wasn't wearing anything. His skin was eerily warm as always, his base temperature high enough to signal fever in anyone else. Sasuke could feel the heat seeping through his shirt and trousers, Naruto's body pressing down on him like the imprint of the midday sun. Burning toes dug into the tops of Sasuke's bare feet and Naruto's fingers wrapped around his wrists like branding irons.
"Listen to me, Uchiha Sasuke, and listen very carefully, because I'm only gonna say this once," Naruto said, his voice low and harsh against the edge of Sasuke's ear. "You are not dispensable. You are not an obstruction. You are not optional. You are fucking necessary. You know how Sakura and I got along while you were gone? We kept reminding each other that one day you'd come home -- that we'd storm the front lines, or the Joint Forces headquarters, or whatever godsforsaken prisoner camp you might end up in and take you back if we had to. You know why we work so well together? Because we had matching holes in our hearts where you were supposed to be."
He paused, swallowed, breathed in; his chest heaved against Sasuke. "We let you go once, because it was what you needed to do. We're not letting you go again. Get that clear in your head and start thinking of ways to make this work with you, because anything else is unacceptable. If that makes rumors, if that makes me unelectable, then fuck it, we'll toss this plan and find another. It doesn't have to be me as our figurehead. Politicians are replaceable. You're not."
"There are no politicians like you," Sasuke said. "Some have ideals, some have charisma, some have family standing, but nobody else has all three."
"Not the point," Naruto said, tightening his grip on Sasuke's wrists.
"Yes it is. Fire Country's future is the most important thing to me," Sasuke said. "If you can't accept that, you can't accept me."
"An awesome future for Fire Country and an awesome future for us don't have to be mutually exclusive, you masochistic dumbass," Naruto grumbled, but he turned his head sideways and bit softly at Sasuke's neck by way of apology. Sasuke tilted his head back, closed his eyes to concentrate on the slide of hot breath and tongue and the delicate pinch-pain of sharp teeth pinning a fold of skin between them.
Naruto let go of Sasuke's wrists and moved his hands to his waist, slipping them up under his shirt. "You're wearing too much clothing," he muttered, words transmitting as much through Sasuke's jawbone as through the air.
"We still need to deal with the rumors," Sasuke said.
"Sakura comes home tomorrow. Talk to her. I know she has evil plots in the air," Naruto said. "Now stop thinking and get naked. Clearly we haven't been keeping you busy enough if you have time to get that tangled up in your own head, and without Sakura here to shout until you realize the error of your ways, it's my solemn duty to fuck the stupid out of you for the night."
Sasuke braced one foot against the floor for a second of leverage, then flipped them over so he was on top. He grinned down at Naruto, let all his years of war shine behind his eyes, the cold flame a beacon of challenge. No fire was ever truly tamed, no matter what form it took or in whose soul it burned. Maybe he and Naruto would burn each other out one day, but for now, he could try to believe.
"You want to fuck me? Earn it."
Naruto lunged upward to meet him.
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End of Story
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Hmm. I have now written a Naruto-and-Sakura fic, a Naruto-and-Sasuke fic, and an all-three-together fic in this AU. I should do a Sakura-and-Sasuke fic just to balance things out. And then maybe another all-three-together fic when they're adults rather than young children. *ponders options*
Summary: Sasuke doesn't want to harm Naruto's election prospects. Naruto and Sakura have other priorities. NaruSasu, implied NaruSasuSaku. (1,200 words)
[ETA: The AO3 crosspost is now up.]
---------------------------------------------
Zero-Sum Fallacy
---------------------------------------------
"You should marry Sakura," Sasuke said.
Naruto rolled over on the bed and blinked sleepily toward the doorway. "Unh. Hey, 'ske. Th' fuck took y' s'long, y're s'posed t' be home hours ago."
"Paperwork expands to fill the available time. You know this."
"'N why're y' still dressed?"
"I didn't want to offend the paperwork's delicate sensibilities," Sasuke said, deadpan. He reached sideways and flicked on the wall sconce, biting back a smile at Naruto's wince.
"Fuck paperwork an' fuck you too," Naruto said, dragging a pillow over and jamming it onto his face. "Warn a guy when you're gonna hit the lights, hey? There's this thing called being polite, I know Sakura's beat it into your head as much as she beats it into mine." He arched his back, stretching like a cat under the thin sheet. The window was open to let in the cooler night air, and the breeze carried the scent of the garden -- late summer rain on dry ground and leaves -- up to fill the bedroom, mingling with the musk of sweat and sex.
The lion in his den, Sasuke thought, untamable by any man. But Naruto came light and laughing to Sakura's touch. It was probably a sign.
"Surely the great hereditary shaman of a fire spirit can handle one piddling little electric light bulb," Sasuke said. "But speaking of Sakura. You should marry her."
This time the words registered. Naruto stilled, fingers digging into the pillow as if he wanted to shred it to tiny scraps of cloth and feathers.
"You wanna repeat that, bastard?"
"It's good politics," Sasuke said, keeping his voice steady and calm. "Marriage will make you seem more responsible, less immature. She'll have a perfect excuse to attend your meetings and whisper tactics into your ear. And it will stop a number of awkward rumors dead in their tracks."
Naruto threw the pillow toward the door. It fell several feet short; Sasuke didn't even bother to flinch.
"I'm not suggesting we end--"
"Yes you are," Naruto interrupted. "Don't be deliberately stupid. If Sakura married me and we didn't break up with you, that'd just make new and nastier rumors, plus it'd make me look like a giant two-timing lying dickface instead of a solid guy you'd trust to have your country's best interests in mind."
He propped himself up on his elbows and glared at Sasuke, his scars pale lines against the tanned skin of his face and shoulders. "We talked about this, you know, me and Sakura. She figured you'd pull some dick 'for your own good' escape move sooner or later. I said no, he's not that dumb, he knows we're in this together and we can't pull it off -- the reforms or the mushy stuff -- without all three of us. Way to repay my faith, asshole. I feel really honored."
Sasuke crossed his arms and looked away, toward the window and the twenty-four hour glare of Konoha's urban center. "I'm not backing out of the reforms. I would never--"
"Well, obviously."
"--but you're wrong about the other part. You don't need me. You managed while I was in the Academy and on the front lines. That's eight years without me. You work together like-- like a Spec Ops team, always on, nothing wasted. I don't fit. I'm just sand in the gears."
Naruto threw another pillow, hard enough that Sasuke needed to duck. He followed it with his whole body, leaping wildly from the bed and tackling Sasuke to the bedroom floor.
He wasn't wearing anything. His skin was eerily warm as always, his base temperature high enough to signal fever in anyone else. Sasuke could feel the heat seeping through his shirt and trousers, Naruto's body pressing down on him like the imprint of the midday sun. Burning toes dug into the tops of Sasuke's bare feet and Naruto's fingers wrapped around his wrists like branding irons.
"Listen to me, Uchiha Sasuke, and listen very carefully, because I'm only gonna say this once," Naruto said, his voice low and harsh against the edge of Sasuke's ear. "You are not dispensable. You are not an obstruction. You are not optional. You are fucking necessary. You know how Sakura and I got along while you were gone? We kept reminding each other that one day you'd come home -- that we'd storm the front lines, or the Joint Forces headquarters, or whatever godsforsaken prisoner camp you might end up in and take you back if we had to. You know why we work so well together? Because we had matching holes in our hearts where you were supposed to be."
He paused, swallowed, breathed in; his chest heaved against Sasuke. "We let you go once, because it was what you needed to do. We're not letting you go again. Get that clear in your head and start thinking of ways to make this work with you, because anything else is unacceptable. If that makes rumors, if that makes me unelectable, then fuck it, we'll toss this plan and find another. It doesn't have to be me as our figurehead. Politicians are replaceable. You're not."
"There are no politicians like you," Sasuke said. "Some have ideals, some have charisma, some have family standing, but nobody else has all three."
"Not the point," Naruto said, tightening his grip on Sasuke's wrists.
"Yes it is. Fire Country's future is the most important thing to me," Sasuke said. "If you can't accept that, you can't accept me."
"An awesome future for Fire Country and an awesome future for us don't have to be mutually exclusive, you masochistic dumbass," Naruto grumbled, but he turned his head sideways and bit softly at Sasuke's neck by way of apology. Sasuke tilted his head back, closed his eyes to concentrate on the slide of hot breath and tongue and the delicate pinch-pain of sharp teeth pinning a fold of skin between them.
Naruto let go of Sasuke's wrists and moved his hands to his waist, slipping them up under his shirt. "You're wearing too much clothing," he muttered, words transmitting as much through Sasuke's jawbone as through the air.
"We still need to deal with the rumors," Sasuke said.
"Sakura comes home tomorrow. Talk to her. I know she has evil plots in the air," Naruto said. "Now stop thinking and get naked. Clearly we haven't been keeping you busy enough if you have time to get that tangled up in your own head, and without Sakura here to shout until you realize the error of your ways, it's my solemn duty to fuck the stupid out of you for the night."
Sasuke braced one foot against the floor for a second of leverage, then flipped them over so he was on top. He grinned down at Naruto, let all his years of war shine behind his eyes, the cold flame a beacon of challenge. No fire was ever truly tamed, no matter what form it took or in whose soul it burned. Maybe he and Naruto would burn each other out one day, but for now, he could try to believe.
"You want to fuck me? Earn it."
Naruto lunged upward to meet him.
---------------------------------------------
End of Story
---------------------------------------------
Hmm. I have now written a Naruto-and-Sakura fic, a Naruto-and-Sasuke fic, and an all-three-together fic in this AU. I should do a Sakura-and-Sasuke fic just to balance things out. And then maybe another all-three-together fic when they're adults rather than young children. *ponders options*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-18 10:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-19 02:55 am (UTC)I don't have any particular ideas for a SasuSaku fic. I was thinking maybe something more directly connected with the military, since he's an army officer and she does logistic and strategy and stuff (from a civilian angle, but still). On the other hand, a speech would also be cool. Hmm. Maybe an assassination attempt? But I dunno, really. If you have any ideas, I am all ears!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-19 10:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-20 07:00 am (UTC)Maybe Sasuke and Sakura are trying to unearth evidence of yet another military coup plot? Or discussing that and then they get blindsided by a weirdo lone assassin... but I dunno, I kind of want Naruto to be completely off-screen... or wait, if they're backstage while he's out speechifying to a rally or something...
Hmm. *ponders harder*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-18 02:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-19 03:00 am (UTC)Neither Sasuke nor Naruto is dumb (...okay, except when Sasuke is trying to deal with his own emotions; then he's as dumb as a sack of bricks), but yeah, Sakura's definitely the one who makes their plans. They are properly grateful.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-18 04:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-19 03:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-18 08:56 am (UTC)Cos I do.
And I love how present Sakura was in this fic even though she was never on screen as such :)
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-19 02:50 am (UTC)Sasuke was fairly present in "Last Call" without actually being anywhere near Sakura and Naruto, so I wanted to do the same with Sakura here -- I like them best all three together, whether they're physically in the same location or not. I'm glad that worked!