wherein Liz feels kind of 'meh' about the world

[edenfalling]

I've been feeling kind of blehhh this past week -- post-vacation letdown, I suppose, combined with inadequate sleep. But anyway, today I actually sat down and wrote something, and also made a tiny stab at catching up on comments for NFE fics. Granted, it was only 300 words on an unfinished fic and one kind of incoherent comment, but even so. That's progress.

(The fic in question is the still-untitled Jade/Dave/Terezi crossdressing porn, btw. I have reached the... not quite sex, but they're all in bed together now and are negotiating who will undress whom in what order. Also Jade teleported off all her own clothes except her panties and bra, because of Reasons. So there's that. How has it taken me 9,500 words and over a year to reach this point???)

I don't really want to write anything else tonight, which includes comments -- comments being harder than fic, in some ways, since I have set myself a high bar for NFE comments and thus have to be analytical and stuff -- but I want to do something that feels productive, so... I think I will put some more old stories up on AO3. Maybe "Fixation, and Other Stories." Or maybe all my FF7 Mercverse stuff. Or "An Ounce of Prevention." I dunno. I have a lot of old fic.

*wanders off to poke through her own archives*

Comments

[askerian]

*kneadknead* Would it help to let yourself have this nonproductive day or would it make things worse? because sometimes blah just happens. :(

[edenfalling]

I hadn't written anything while on vacation because it's weird and awkward when my parents are generally in the same room and prone to needing the computer at unpredictable intervals, and then I couldn't get back into any sort of writing mood once home again, so yet another day with no writing would've been untenable. Hence the 300 words! Mild periods of blah are -- for me, anyway -- best faced with proper amounts of sleep, a smile pasted on my face for motivation, and a refusal to let myself slack off... because if I give in and indulge them, they will just drag on and on and the weight of things undone will just compound and look more and more impossible to start catching up on.

Actual blue funks/depressive episodes are different. It is next to impossible to access any kind of creativity, and even if I can, it feels weird and hollow instead of producing the glow that writing normally gives me. In fact, that is one of the best ways for me to tell if I'm in a funk -- if I can get a good night's sleep and shove myself into writing and feel better, it's probably just a minor blah, whereas if I still feel gray and washed-out, it's probably a funk and I should hunker down for a couple weeks until it passes.

Brains are weird. :-/

[askerian]

i see. :(

*petpets* this sounds super frustrating, wow.