[Fic] "Tentacle Porn" -- Harry Potter
May. 5th, 2004 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edenfallingThis evening I went to the UUSG (that's the Unitarian Universalist Student Group) meeting, which I've missed the past several weeks because I have no sense of time. It was good to see everyone again!
Also, I got roped into participating in a worship workshop at an all-day event thingy this Saturday. I get to sing. And light candles. And stuff like that. Plus, there are two other workshop periods where I won't be helping to run anything, so I can goof off and learn things. Much coolness.
The original scenes would not leave me alone, so I outlined that story to temporarily exorcise it. I've found that outlines are often fairly effective that way.
I also exorcised this evil thing, which was once upon a time the initial idea for Parseltongue, but which refused to go away and die in peace. So I finally wrote it. (Don't worry! I'm told that the fic is actually rather cute. *grin*)
[ETA: the AO3 crosspost is now up!]
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Tentacle Porn, or, Ideas Best Not Contemplated, #1
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Ginny walked into Hermione's room with an expression halfway between bemused and disgusted, and sat down on Lavender's bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.
"Hermione?" she said.
"Yes?" answered Hermione, setting her Transfiguration book on her lap, wondering what on earth could put someone like Ginny into such a state.
"You're Muggle-born, right?"
"Yes," said Hermione again.
"Have you ever heard of tentacle porn?"
"What?"
"Tentacle porn. I asked Ruth in Potions why she always gets a funny look on her face when we pass the Venomous Tentacula in evening Herbology sessions, and she told me about tentacle porn."
Hermione gripped her book tightly, and asked, voice pitched a bit higher than she preferred, "What, exactly, is tentacle porn, and why does Ruth Gelfand know about it?"
Ginny shrugged. "Ruth watches some Japanese thing -- aminay? -- and she said she's seen ads for it. It's kind of... well, you have a thing with tentacles, and it goes after girls, and well... you know."
"Oh," said Hermione.
"And she said that the Venomous Tentacula reminded her of the tentacle monsters," said Ginny. "Which is why she won't go near it."
"Oh," said Hermione again, trying very hard not to actually picture the mechanics of Ruth's fear.
"And then she said that if it ever did, well, the venom is transferred by contact, so you'd need to apply the antidote everywhere it touched you, and that would be, well..." Ginny trailed off.
"I... there would probably be a way to do that yourself," offered Hermione weakly. "I don't think Madam Pomfrey's quite used to that sort of thing. Though she does have contraceptive potions."
"She does?" asked Ginny.
"Yes, in the third drawer of her desk. I looked once, while I was recovering from a bad Polyjuice Potion; she'd just given a bottle to one of the Raven--" Hermione cut herself off with a horrified expression. "You don't need to know that! You're only fourteen!"
Ginny grinned. "So? At least I don't fall to pieces when someone tells me about tentacle porn!"
Hermione threw her Transfiguration book at the other girl.
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Yes, I have a sick mind on occasion. I blame it entirely on my old high school friends. They could have corrupted anyone.
Also, I got roped into participating in a worship workshop at an all-day event thingy this Saturday. I get to sing. And light candles. And stuff like that. Plus, there are two other workshop periods where I won't be helping to run anything, so I can goof off and learn things. Much coolness.
The original scenes would not leave me alone, so I outlined that story to temporarily exorcise it. I've found that outlines are often fairly effective that way.
I also exorcised this evil thing, which was once upon a time the initial idea for Parseltongue, but which refused to go away and die in peace. So I finally wrote it. (Don't worry! I'm told that the fic is actually rather cute. *grin*)
[ETA: the AO3 crosspost is now up!]
---------------------------------------------
Tentacle Porn, or, Ideas Best Not Contemplated, #1
---------------------------------------------
Ginny walked into Hermione's room with an expression halfway between bemused and disgusted, and sat down on Lavender's bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.
"Hermione?" she said.
"Yes?" answered Hermione, setting her Transfiguration book on her lap, wondering what on earth could put someone like Ginny into such a state.
"You're Muggle-born, right?"
"Yes," said Hermione again.
"Have you ever heard of tentacle porn?"
"What?"
"Tentacle porn. I asked Ruth in Potions why she always gets a funny look on her face when we pass the Venomous Tentacula in evening Herbology sessions, and she told me about tentacle porn."
Hermione gripped her book tightly, and asked, voice pitched a bit higher than she preferred, "What, exactly, is tentacle porn, and why does Ruth Gelfand know about it?"
Ginny shrugged. "Ruth watches some Japanese thing -- aminay? -- and she said she's seen ads for it. It's kind of... well, you have a thing with tentacles, and it goes after girls, and well... you know."
"Oh," said Hermione.
"And she said that the Venomous Tentacula reminded her of the tentacle monsters," said Ginny. "Which is why she won't go near it."
"Oh," said Hermione again, trying very hard not to actually picture the mechanics of Ruth's fear.
"And then she said that if it ever did, well, the venom is transferred by contact, so you'd need to apply the antidote everywhere it touched you, and that would be, well..." Ginny trailed off.
"I... there would probably be a way to do that yourself," offered Hermione weakly. "I don't think Madam Pomfrey's quite used to that sort of thing. Though she does have contraceptive potions."
"She does?" asked Ginny.
"Yes, in the third drawer of her desk. I looked once, while I was recovering from a bad Polyjuice Potion; she'd just given a bottle to one of the Raven--" Hermione cut herself off with a horrified expression. "You don't need to know that! You're only fourteen!"
Ginny grinned. "So? At least I don't fall to pieces when someone tells me about tentacle porn!"
Hermione threw her Transfiguration book at the other girl.
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Yes, I have a sick mind on occasion. I blame it entirely on my old high school friends. They could have corrupted anyone.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-06 02:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-06 03:07 am (UTC)About Parseltongue... My train of thought went like this: You know, the Venomous Tentacula would make a good monster in a tentacle porn anime. Hey, let's have someone tell that to Ginny. 'Cause it's fun to squick Ginny, and my Ginny likes Herbology Hmm, what else can squick Ginny? Well, she likes Harry, and Harry can talk to snakes, and... hmmm, you know, I wonder if I can write that so it comes out sexy, even though it's about snakes?
So I tried. And it seems to have worked, though the Harry/Ginny part got lost somewhere along the way. I think it's not half bad for a first try at writing sex.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-06 03:15 am (UTC)You mean Parseltongue was your first smut?? WHOA. You have some talent there, girl :D
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-06 06:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-06 07:08 pm (UTC)Though I suppose leaches would be even worse...