[Fic] "Rats and Ships" -- Harry Potter

[edenfalling]

Sent "Restoration" to beta today. I don't have anything else that's close to being finished, unless I get off my ass and finally fix up "Fire," the Hermione monologue I meant to revise back in January. *sigh* Normally revisions aren't much of a problem, but that story needs a complete structural overhaul, and that takes time.

Stupid Vicky for pointing out that it needed one. I hate it when she's right.

Anyhow, a while back I wrote a 15-minute monologue by Peter Pettigrew, post-PoA, and it kept bugging me since the Peter-voice I was channeling didn't seem like the sort of person who'd go along with Voldemort's stupid plans in GoF.

So I wrote his take on GoF, just because.

[ETA: The ever-so-slightly revised final version is now up on AO3.]

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Rats and Ships
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Peter, post-GoF

I knew the plan was madness from the beginning -- my master was relying on Crouch, the crazed fanatic, to maintain his cover all year; relying on Harry, a boy younger and less experienced than his opponents, to win the Tournament; relying on Nagini and me, a snake and a servant of uncertain loyalty, to keep him alive until the Third Task -- but what could I do? Kill him and disappear into the Muggle world? Yes, I could have done that -- he was helpless at that stage -- but who wants to live without magic? I'd already spent twelve years hiding as a rat, and I wasn't going back to any sort of half-life.

The Dark Lord was a great man. He may be again, if he can overcome the madness engendered by ten years of helpless incorporeality.

It wasn't until the Third Task, the second great sticking point of my life, that he told me why he was so obsessed with Harry: the boy who saved my life is the one person with the power to defeat my master. Once again, I had to choose.

I have never been so thankful in my life that the Dark Lord is a proud man. His pride allowed Harry to escape, and so I never had to discover whether I'm the sort of man to betray a life debt and kill an innocent boy.

You look surprised. Don't be: I may have come to despise his father, but Harry granted me my life. And I watched him enough as Scabbers to know that, unlike James, he doesn't disregard his friends. He's there for them at the sticking points, but he also remembers them during the other times, the times when James would have been laughing behind my back with Sirius. And so while I was willing to bleed him in order to revive the Dark Lord, well... let me say that it would have been difficult to kill him, and leave it at that.

I don't wish death on Harry, but I confess it would be hard for me if he killed my master. I have, as I said, no particular desire to return to life as a rat or to become, for all intents and purposes, a Muggle. And I do believe in some of my master's plans. I believe even more in his ability to reward my service. I think, therefore, that whenever Harry or the Dark Lord engineers their final confrontation, I will be as far from that battle as humanly possible.

Of course, my flight will have an ostensible purpose that serves my master's aims yet is innocent enough to arouse no suspicion from Aurors or local hero-types, but I'm sure you already knew that if you gave any thought to the matter.

I am, after all, a survivor.

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I've put this in my Memories under "HP monologues," along with the other Peter monologue and the Sirius monologue. At some point I will probably stick "Curses" and "Shame" in there as well, but I'm lazy and don't feel like hunting them down just now.

Oh, and chapter 1 of Strange Likenesses is up at FA. Go! Read! Possibly even review!

Comments

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

I like this a lot! I think maybe I need to do this, or something like it, for my characters when I'm starting a new story. A monologue is a good way to do a character study, I think. Thanks for sharing and giving me a new writing tool :) (can you tell I've never really studied creative writing? I feel like a real moron about writing mechanics sometimes :(

[edenfalling]

I like monologues -- sit down with a character, give him/her a couple starting points, and go with what they tell you. They don't always work as stories, but they are, as you said, a very good way to get a handle on a character.

(Don't worry about writing mechanics. The best way to learn to write -- the only way, really -- is to sit down and write. And read. And then do it all over again and again and again... After a while, you figure out which tricks work for you.)

[redwolfoz.livejournal.com]

And survivor is bang on the head. Excellent.

[edenfalling]

Thanks! *will have to look into Peter's OoP actions, to see if this characterization holds up*

[erised1810.livejournal.com]

wow, yes he is asurvivor .bithis did give me the old nagging feleign of distrust back, which is what it shoudldo, right?

[edenfalling]

Distrust of Peter? Oh goodness yes!