stuff done since my last stuff done post

[edenfalling]

1. Finished the Not the IRS onboarding process, which is basically logging onto a site and electronically signing a bunch of forms (some of them have a few options to fill out first). Because this is my second year as a tax preparer, I am now eligible for... it's not technically commissions, because the structure's a little different, but essentially it's commissions, if I bring in money over my hourly wages for the pay period in question. Probably I won't earn any, because I am new and have no established client base, but I guess it's nice to know the option is there?

2. Changed linens each weekend.

3. Did laundry yesterday. Have put about 90% of it away.

4. Took the compost bin to the curb for pickup last weekend and the recycling bins to the curb for pickup this weekend.

5. Photographed my peppers and made posts about them last Monday and today.

6. Put in my weekly unemployment benefit claim last Monday and today.

7. Chopped up some peppers and onions and froze them for later use. (This way they don't rot before I get around to cooking whatever I bought them for.)

8. Got a haircut. Yay my hair's not an annoyance anymore!

9. Attempted to buy a new power cord for my laptop, discovered the problem IS the battery after all, attempted to research whether my laptop even has a user-accessible way to change its battery, temporarily gave up in frustration when the battery suddenly worked for about six hours and recharged itself, will return to the issue in a few days. Maybe Friday. (Laptop is an Asus Q501L notebook PC, incidentally.)

10. Paid my monthly internet bill.

11. Bought groceries.

12. Went to Agway to get a duplicate of my front door key, both just because it's good to have a spare (until today I'd only had spares for my back door) and because I may need it next week, for reasons.

13. Managed to edit my own NFE fic (aka, added the scenes that made it thematically coherent) before the collection opened. I have also commented on my two (!!!) gifts in a hopefully coherent fashion. Tomorrow I may have the spoons to start reading through the rest of the stories.

14. Met my third coworker at the rental office on Saturday, who showed me more of the tasks I will be responsible for on a daily basis.

15. Soldiered on despite the worsening of my depression -- I think I am having a blue funk on top of the general malaise I've been suffering all year. ('Blue funks' are what I call the one- to three-week periods I get a few times a year, where my brain abruptly dumps me down a well. They have no correlation to any outside pattern anyone's ever been able to discern. My brain chemistry just fucks off to Siberia now and then.)

I wanted to get a bunch of things done that I have had to let slide because I just flat did not have the spoons, but I have managed to maintain my daily routine of getting up before noon (and getting at least six hours of sleep), showering and dressing, eating three/four meals (number depends on size), going for a walk and taking a picture of Cascadilla Creek, and washing my dishes. I don't usually report those things because they are usually not a noticeable effort -- that's sort of my baseline -- but in bad weeks, I like to remind myself that those are actual tasks requiring actual physical and mental energy, and goddammit, I did not let them slip.

And now I should probably get to bed, because I have work tomorrow. :)

Comments

[transposable_element]

You seem to be getting a lot done (more than I am, anyway). I'm sorry about the blue funk, and I hope it's over with soon. Ordinary depression is bad enough.

[edenfalling]

Well, recall that this is nine or ten days' worth of stuff all jammed together in a single post; I am effectively playing a perspective trick on your brain. *wry*

I am annoyed mostly because I know how to handle my blue funks -- they suck, but they're temporary. I am much less good at handling constant low-level anhedonia, tiredness, and general... I don't know what the technical term is for the thing where you want to do a thing and you just don't have the can-do, like turning a key in the ignition but your car won't start because there's a broken connection somewhere. Maybe it's a subset of executive dysfunction? Anyway, those three have always been my main depressive symptoms, and it gets really, really gray trying to push back against that every single day. I get occasional good days or weeks, but then I just keep slipping back. :(

I should probably look into finding a psychiatrist and getting some kind of meds -- they were helpful when I had my other really bad depressive period, back around 2001-2002 -- but the problem with depression, of course, is that it makes big and complicated tasks like that seem like way too much effort... *sigh*

[heliopausa]

It's not just spoons, but time, for reading the NFE collection. I hope to read one or two more today. (Did you see I commented on one phrase in a story, only for the anonymous writer to say "actually, that was edenfalling's." :D )

I feel for you, about the laptop battery- the battery on this one (the one I'm using now) has given up entirely, so it's a desk-top, which will make dealing with things while travelling next month a bit tricky.

I'm very sorry about the depression and then plunging down the well. :( It's one thing to know it's going to end, and how to handle it, but it's still what it is. I'm sorry.

[edenfalling]

I haven't gotten to that story yet (aside from reading the draft version, of course) -- I'm going in order of reverse word count, and both the ones I beta-read are in the longer half of the collection.

My power cord is working as a power cord; it just won't recharge the battery because the battery is having issues. I really do need to replace it altogether, but I just can't face figuring out that process right now. *sigh*

[heliopausa]

I replaced mine last year, and now the new one's gone. This is last-legs time for my lap-top, I'm unhappily recognising.

I'm going from the bottom of the list up, more or less. I'm a bit past half-way.

[cat-i-th-adage.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the funk, but yay for everything else. I admire your coping skills (and like your pepper pictures).

[edenfalling]

I trained myself into a few really hardwired 'maintain a minimal quality of life' habits over the years, because otherwise I would just fall down a hole and vanish from my entire life during funks, and that's not tenable for, say, holding down a job. So I picked a few things that I refuse to let slip. And some days, those few things (plus my current paid employment) are all I can manage, but by god, I will manage them or else.

It's maybe not the healthiest attitude -- missing one day won't actually destroy me or anything, and accidentally convincing myself on an emotional level that one slip will lead to THE APOCALYPSE is just asking for trouble if I ever do just flat run out of spoons for even these basics -- but it's worked for me for over a decade now, so. *shrug*

[cat-i-th-adage.livejournal.com]

You're doing well (even if it doesn't feel like it)