May. 18th, 2006

edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon, looking left (raccoon)
This is the sequel to "The Way of the Apartment Manager," which can be found in clean draft here on ff.net, or in rough draft with comments here on my livejournal. It also has fanart, which can be found here.

This is a transitional chapter, and suffers a little because of it. Unfortunately, I needed the first scene because Iruka exists, damn it, and for him to vanish completely from the story would be weird. I needed the Eiji scene because he is one of the four viewpoint characters, and it's important that you know who he is and where he's coming from; I also needed to lay some background for future plot developments. And the third scene, which grew to be at least twice as long as I'd intended (my outline says only "Yukiko-tachi leave Konoha" -- I'm not quite sure how that turned into something like 2,000 words) is necessary because I forgot to explain certain things in previous chapters, or in the previous story, and because Seichi needs character development too.

*headdesk*

I swear, next chapter will have actual stuff happening! And tension! By all the gods that anyone ever held holy, there will be tension.

The Guardian in Spite of Herself, chapter 5 )

I am rambling and I am quite sure this chapter could be trimmed by 300-500 words. Please, please tell me what to cut. Also, if I'm slipping OOC somewhere, tell me that too! I have no perspective whatsoever on this chapter, not after I spent nearly three months chasing it through my subconscious.
edenfalling: headshot of a raccoon, looking left (raccoon)
This is the sequel to "The Way of the Apartment Manager," which can be found in clean draft here on ff.net, or in rough draft with comments here on my livejournal. It also has fanart, which can be found here.

This is a transitional chapter, and suffers a little because of it. Unfortunately, I needed the first scene because Iruka exists, damn it, and for him to vanish completely from the story would be weird. I needed the Eiji scene because he is one of the four viewpoint characters, and it's important that you know who he is and where he's coming from; I also needed to lay some background for future plot developments. And the third scene, which grew to be at least twice as long as I'd intended (my outline says only "Yukiko-tachi leave Konoha" -- I'm not quite sure how that turned into something like 2,000 words) is necessary because I forgot to explain certain things in previous chapters, or in the previous story, and because Seichi needs character development too.

*headdesk*

I swear, next chapter will have actual stuff happening! And tension! By all the gods that anyone ever held holy, there will be tension.

The Guardian in Spite of Herself, chapter 5 )

I am rambling and I am quite sure this chapter could be trimmed by 300-500 words. Please, please tell me what to cut. Also, if I'm slipping OOC somewhere, tell me that too! I have no perspective whatsoever on this chapter, not after I spent nearly three months chasing it through my subconscious.

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edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
Elizabeth Culmer

June 2025

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