Quote of the Day

[edenfalling]

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
---William Somerset Maugham

...

This would be one of the reasons I don't really have OTPs. I'm not saying that lasting love is impossible, by any means, just that I understand how relationships can fade over time.

The other reason I don't have OTPs, of course, is because I think the idea of each person having only one person in the entire rest of the world with whom he or she can find 'true' happiness and love is A) scary B) based on a faulty understanding of human nature, and C) likely to lead to lazy and easily broken relationships. I think that people can be happy on their own, or with any number of potential partners, provided that they're willing to work at their relationships. That, I find, is a much more cheerful view than the idea that if you screw up with your One True Love, you're sunk for all eternity.

Comments

[alchymie.livejournal.com]

"Grow old along with me! / The best is yet to be, / The last of life, for which the first was made."
--- Robert Browning.

Which is why I believe that OTPs are at least possible.

Happy New Year, Liz.

[edenfalling]

I was interrupted halfway through my post by my sister calling and requiring me to search several store websites for boot brands, so you missed the longer half of my explanation!

I definitely believe in the possibility of lasting relationships -- I have my family and my friends' families for examples, should I ever be in danger of losing that faith. I just think successful relationship take a lot more work than OTPs usually imply. And I have other reasons for being uncomfortable with the notion of ONE true love. After all, that implies that if you're unlucky enough to be born a thousand miles away from your One True Love, then you're doomed to second-best and unhappiness all your life. I really don't like that idea. See, it's not the notion of a well-matched and happy couple/threesome/whatever that bothers me. It's the trappings and implications that tend to trail along after it.

Happy New Year, Bruce!

[alchymie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, missed the second half... which does explain much. I understand that the "O" of OTP is troublesome. I'd hate to grow up thinking that I could only have one person to love out of six billion people... and by the way, no knowing where. Good luck.

But I also believe you select your "one". And the fact that you, and your "one", are growing organisms that can adapt and grow together -- that brings us to the "T".

So I have a romantic streak. And an optimistic streak.

Take care, Liz.

[edenfalling]

But I also believe you select your "one". And the fact that you, and your "one", are growing organisms that can adapt and grow together -- that brings us to the "T".

That's the ideal, yes, and I've seen it work. I've also seen it not work -- sometimes with the same person involved. My grandfather, for example, was married twice, both times for over twenty years. His first marriage eventually fell apart, for a number of reason, but I think they can be summarized by saying that he and my grandmother simply came to have differing views of their relationship and of each other, and weren't able to fulfill each other's expectations. A few years later, he married again, and that marriage lasted until he died; he and Ardis were able to change together instead of growing apart.

That's why I believe in Maugham's quote, even though I always hope things go otherwise. *sigh*

[karit.livejournal.com]

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
- Sam Keen

My view of love and life lends very well to OTPs, though it does not disregard the choice of being without OTPs.

I do love quotes.

[edenfalling]

They're fun, aren't they? I've been on the A Word A Day mailing list this year, and I think I like the quotes at the end of each message as much as the words themselves. :-)

As I said to alchymie, it's not that I don't believe some romantic pairings are better matched than others, but I find the ONE in One True Pairing to be rather disturbing in its implications.

[karit.livejournal.com]

Oh, A Word A Day! I'm on that too, but I don't think I've really noticed the quotes. I usually just check out the word and then delete the entry. I'll have to start paying closer attention, apparently. ^_^;

Hm. I've never paid that much attention to the phrasing. You're right, the ONE is kind of... well, disquieting if you think about it. But... still, on a personal level, it doesn't bother me. I'm not very forceful about my OTPs when I have them, they're MY one true pairing, and if someone else doesn't have the same opinion, then it doesn't bother me. Opinions are opinions. Still, so many people get so worked up over silly things like OTPs.