[Fic] "Trollstuck," part 18 -- Homestuck

[edenfalling]

back to part 17

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Trollstuck, part 18
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====>Who is it?

Nepeta Leijon. Nepeta Mother-"Let's pretend I'm a purrbeast and you're my juicy prey while I giggle like a brain-damaged wriggler and then droop when you don't pity me which will make Jarlia hate you in a platonic fashion rather than anything... okay, stop, this interjection is getting unwieldy and also too personally revealing"-Fucking Leijon.

====>Be pleasantly surprised at this proof that your friends are thinking of you

No! You are not happy to talk to Nepeta! You are never happy to talk to Nepeta!

It's not that you hate her (or at least you don't hate her any more than you hate the rest of the universe, platonically), but her insufferably cheerful idiocy, her insane dedication to cutesy roleplaying games (which, okay, Terezi does that too but at least she has the brains to do it facetiously (NOT ironically, that hoofbeastshit is reserved for Kronos)), and her interminable strings of cat puns drive you up the wall, out the window, and into broad daylight because frying alive is less annoying than dealing with her and her pathetically obvious flushcrush (which you do not return, no matter what vile perversions certain people would like to impose upon you or try to spread as rumors, yes Jothan that means you (and now these parentheses are getting unwieldy, what is even up with this narration today???)).

ARGH.

God, you hope you're not that obvious about... things. You'd have to kill yourself, travel back in time, and haunt Past Karkat until he realizes what a pathetic waste of genetic material he is and kills himself, goes back in time, etcetera, etcetera. Which is both ridiculous and impossible, since time travel is not a thing that exists, so obviously you aren't as obvious in emotional matters as Nepeta. Your logic is inarguable.

====>Answer her anyway, dipshit

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AC: :33 < *ac pounces excitedly on the elusive karkitty!*
AC: :33 < *she says its b33n too long since he was petted and scritched behind his ears*
AC: :33 < *she curls up around him and licks his horns*
AC: :33 < *they are the nubbiest and cutest horns on the planet!*
CG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
CG: THERE WILL BE NO POUNCING, NO PETTING, AND ABSOLUTELY NO HORN-LICKING, IN REALITY OR IN YOUR DISEASED IMAGINATION.
AC: :33 < h33h33 yes there will!
AC: :33 < *the wild karkitty struggles to escape but ac pins him down with her paw*
CG: CG EQUIPS A SICKLE FROM HIS SPECIBUS AND SLICES THE PAW OFF AC'S LEG.
CG: THEN HE BLOCKS HER BECAUSE HE HAS MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO DEAL WITH TONIGHT.
AC: :33 < *ac ignores her poor mutilated paw and pricks her ears in feline curiosity*
CG: CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.
AC: :33 < and satisfaction brought it back! ;33
AC: :?? < whats going on thats so impurrtant?
CG: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO AWAY UNTIL I TALK, ARE YOU.
AC: :33 < nope!
AC: :33 < *ac sits on karkittys f33t holds her wounded paw in a piteous manner and stares up at him with impurrious eyes until he confesses efurrything*
CG: FINE.
CG: LONG STORY SHORT, JARLIA HAD A BAD DREAM AND, IN A TYPICAL RAGE-INDUCING FIT OF USELESS MEDDLING, ACCIDENTALLY MADE IT START TO COME TRUE.
CG: VRISKA IS GOING TO USE SOLLUX TO KILL ARADIA BEFORE DAWN.
CG: TEREZI'S WORKING TO GET DAVVEN TO INTERVENE.
CG: JARLIA'S DOING SOMETHING, WHO THE FUCK EVEN CARES WHAT.
CG: AND ALONDE AND I ARE ARGUING OVER WHAT TO DO REGARDING JOTHAN, TAVROS, AND POTENTIAL SUMMONED HORRORSQUID.
AC: :(( < thats pawful!!!
CG: TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
CG: OR ACTUALLY, DON'T.
CG: LET ME GET BACK TO DOING USEFUL THINGS INSTEAD OF WASTING TIME ON YOU.
AC: :33 < yes good karkitty fix this!
AC: :33 < we cant let vwhiskers kill any of our furriends!
AC: :33 < have you talked to my meowrail yet?
AC: :33 < purrhaps he can help!
CG: ...
CG: HANG ON.

====>Go back to Alonde

TT: <- But what shall I hang on to? Or from? ->
TT: -> That was a joke, incidentally. <-
TT: ...
TT: => If you don't reappear with a reasonable explanation within thirty seconds, I will block you and troll Jothan immediately. <=
CG: WHAT, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH SWIMMING IN THE SHALLOW TIDEPOOL OF IDIOCY AND YOUR SOLUTION IS TO TAKE AN ACROBATIC BELLYFLOP INTO THE OPEN SEA OF COMPLETE BRAINLESS FUCKUPS?
TT: -> A sea-themed metaphor and an admission of your comparative lack of intellectual acumen, all for me. I may swoon. <-
TT: <- Who was it? ->
CG: NEPETA.
TT: <- And what did she say that held your attention for such an uncharacteristic length of time? ->
TT: -> I was under the impression you preferred -- or prefurred, I should say -- to avoid her. <-
CG: THERE WILL BE NO CAT PUNS IN THIS CONVERSATION. IN FACT, THERE WILL BE NO PUNS AT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT THEME.
CG: NONE OF THE PUNS. NONE OF THEM.
TT: =:)
CG: NEPETA WANTS TO KNOW IF ZAHHAK CAN HELP.
TT: -> ... <-
TT: -> I am inclined to say no on strictly reactionary grounds, but such hasty responses are often ill-considered. <-
TT: -> As my instinctive distaste ebbs and reason returns, though, I remain dubious. <-
TT: -> It's entirely possible that he could restrain Vriska, given that he is immune to her particular psychic talents. <-
TT: -> However, he hasn't previously meddled in her affairs. <-
TT: <- Why would he bother now? ->
CG: DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF THAT SWEATY BIGOT'S THINKPAN?
CG: WHY DON'T YOU ASK SOMEBODY WHO ACTUALLY TALKS TO HIM, LIKE GAMZEE.
CG: OR, IF YOU'D RATHER NOT DEAL WITH CHEMICALLY-ADDLED CLOWN GIBBERISH, WHY NOT SEE IF ZAHHAK HAS A MOIRAIL?
CG: OH WAIT.
CG: HE DOES.
CG: AND I HAVE HER ON HOLD IN ANOTHER CHAT WINDOW.
TT: -> This is inefficient. <-
TT: -> I'm opening a memo. Answer the invitation. <-

====>Headdesk

NO FUCKING PROBLEM.

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continue to part 19

Sorry for the short-ish section, but before I go any further with this I need an answer to one very important question: should Equius be helpful or not? Please provide reasons, whether character-based or plot-suggestion-based!

Also, while we're at it, what are some other things you'd like to see happen (either during or after the Vriska crisis plot thread)? I promise I will get back to Eridan and the squiddleterror, and of course I will return to the stuff with Gl'bgolyb and Aradia's research and the Ancestors -- I have to, since that is the overarching plot! -- but there are any number of things that could serve as potential episodic plots along the way. So what would you be interested in reading?

There will probably be a Karkat-hides-from-the-culling-drones episode, but I think that should wait until we're a lot closer to endgame on the Gl'bgolyb plot. There may also be a Gamzee-gets-sober plot, and there will definitely be some romance plots -- what is a troll story without quadrant melodramatics, after all? -- but I need some adventure-style prompts to work with. Random Ancestor intervals are also an option.

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And now to bed, because I have to be at work by 9am and it's easier to fake being a morning person when I am not completely sleep deprived. *unnervingly perky smile*

Comments

[branchandroot]

Difficult as Karkat may be to write, I'm very entertained by his pov.

[edenfalling]

I'm glad you're enjoying my pale attempt at mimicking Karkat in all his... um... glory. :-) The narration quite obviously got away from me, but Karkat's figures of speech sometimes run away with him too (not as often as Dave's do, but often enough) so I just worked it in. The prompt commands seem to be taking on a bit of Karkat's voice as well, which is an interesting development.

For amusement value, here is a collection of Karkat's most memorable dialogue up through Act 6 Intermission I.

[branchandroot]

That's... fairly epic, yes. *amused* Karkat does seem a bit more to the point about these things than Dave.

[askerian]

Aww but Nepeta is socute. They're kind of adorable, really. XD

Well if Equius has a crush on Aradia yet, he might be horrified enough at the idea that he would find a way to tortuously justify his involvement. Maybe "because it's beneath Vriska's dignity" or whatever. Or maybe because Alonde asked, though since she's a seadweller he might say no on principle... (AHAHA karkat could promise in private that Eq's moirail is totes safe from his depraved anhemonymous advances. What a sacrifice!)

Are Karkat and Gamzee moirails yet? Or at least Gamzee nursing a pale crush? It'd be nice to see some of that. :3333

[edenfalling]

I'm trying to keep Nepeta properly cute without tipping over into saccharine, because she is also a girl who lives alone in a cave, hunts vicious predators with only handheld blades, and paints pictures with their blood. I don't think violence is going to faze her very much. :-)

So Equius is ambivalent in your view? Hmm.

Karkat and Gamzee aren't moirails. Gamzee is nursing a pale crush, but I don't think he's said anything -- or if he has, it's been mangled enough that Karkat has (possibly deliberately) misinterpreted his overtures. Romance of all types will come up more in future plot threads!

[vehrec.livejournal.com]

Equius might like to help, but let's be realistic here. Vriska is going to be using her psychic powers, and how would Equius stop that? Punching her? Which then brings Jothan in to defend her, and now it's 2x1, and while they might be lesser members of the nobility than he is, these are not good odds. Worse, what if he knocks Vriska out and she sleep-revenges on Aradia? Can she even do that? This is a complex issue, and it's not at all helped by the fact that legally speaking, Vriska can probably kill Aradia for just breathing, let alone actually harming a member of a Hemocaste so much higher than her own.

I would also like to request at least one scene in which Troll Albert Einstein is proven right that there is no difference between faster than light travel via psychic powers and time travel with psychic powers, and is then exeecuted, because this shit is too dangerous to be widely known to the lowbloods if you don't want time traveling rebels. I grow more suspicious every time you say that time travel is a thing that does not exist in this universe. It quite plainly does!

[edenfalling]

Another vote for Equius being conflicted (and then maybe of no practical help even if he is willing). Okay.

There is a little tag scene from Davven's POV at the end of chapter 4 which I added to the final version on AO3. You might find the brief description of his power illuminating. :-)

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

Equius might like to help, but let's be realistic here. Vriska is going to be using her psychic powers, and how would Equius stop that? Punching her?

Ahem. Please recall that Equius has a personal robot army. That is capable of standing up to him in a fight.
It's how he vents stress.

Right there in his introduction page.

Between the warped tastes, the sweatiness, the failed archery, and the brute strength, people often forget that Equius's favorite pastime is, in fact, robotic engineering. In fact, every single instance of Alternian robotics seen in the comic thus far has been the work of either Equius himself or that of his Ancestor.

Also, punching Vriska into unconsciousness probably would be an effective way of stopping her influence over Sollux. Especially given that Equius lives right next door to Vriska. It would be kind of silly for him to waste time chasing down mindcontrolled!Sollux or Aradia when he could tackle the problem at its source.

[vehrec.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, personal robot army, very well and good...but again, does this really do anything? You now have the ability to maim and/or kill Vriska. Is this going to solve the problem? Probably not, unless you're willing to kill her, and unless that doesn't lead to an even worse outcome.

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

Don't forget, Equius doesn't need to be able to stop Vriska from killing Aradia all by himself. He just needs to be able to meaningfully contribute to a group effort to do so.

[edenfalling]

meaningfully contribute to a group effort

Remember this; it will be relevant later. :-)

[marici.livejournal.com]

Equius will not agree to help -- he's going to side with Vriska reflexively, he hasn't yet experienced the loss of a close friend to tell him why he wants to, and his dirty fantasies about Aradia make him more likely to refuse when asked directly.

He might head over anyway -- he'd going to be unbearably tempted by the idea of making Aradia owe him, and he'll justify it as an a%eptable showing up of lowblooded Sollux.

Sober!Gamzee is an excellent plot, yes please! I'd also like episodes that reveal troll culture -- how do they get food, schoolfeeding, and since mates are an oncoming survival requirement, what sort of social mixers exist off the internet? Black or gray courtship rituals would be interesting, too. Feferi could rescue something (or some grub) that needed special care.

[edenfalling]

This makes one vote for him being ambivalent, one for him being ambivalent-to-agreeable but useless anyway, and one vote for him being obstructionist and possibly ending up causing trouble by going off on his own. Okay, I can work with this.

Oooh, those are all excellent suggestions. I think once the Vriska-and-Aradia crisis is resolved one way or the other, I will do a shorter world-building episode as a sort of breather. :-)

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think Equius might be surprisingly helpful.

Recall that one of his and Nepeta's disagreements early in Alterniabound revolves around his unwillingness to ever, under any circumstances, let Nepeta FLARP, especially with Terezi or anyone she regularly plays with.

This takes on a whole new meaning when you realize that Equius lives right next door to Vriska, and therefore had a front-row seat to her FLARPing antics. Especially what she did with her victims afterward.

Also, it seems fairly clear from their interactions in canon that a) Equius is not particularly fond of Vriska as a person, (I may be reading too much into it, but to the extent that he helps her, it appears to be more out of a sense of obligation to caste roles or possibly a desire to indebt her to him than any particular liking for her, and you'll note that his aid always seems to come with strings attached in her case. A robot arm that he can take over at any time. A new body for Aradia that serves his plans more readily than Vriska's. You get the idea.) and b), he is entirely capable of utterly pwning her when he chooses to do so (see: the aforementioned robot arm, his psychic immunity, her inability to get under his skin and his ability to get under hers without even trying in the few chatlogs they have). He simply chooses not to most of the time. He is, after all, a fundamentally passive character, and getting involved with Vriska is more trouble than it's worth.

Unless, of course, she crosses the line. I get the impression that Equius wants to be good and moral and follow The Rules as he understands them. In a human society, with human values, he might be a Pillar Of The Community, a Paragon Of Morality, or possibly just a fundamentalist bigot. Given troll values, particularly under the Condesce, this gets a bit...twisted. But look at how Davven reacts to the FLARP incident--clearly, Vriska crossed a line there even by troll standards. If someone as lax about social norms as Davven is disgusted, how does Equius feel about it? And she's about to do something even worse. Equius may not necessarily freak out for the same reasons as everyone else, but given how deeply he reveres the norms and traditions of troll society, he's probably going to find Vriska's behavior reprehensible.

And, if nothing else, I doubt Nepeta is going to let him just sit there while Aradia gets killed.

[red-volpe.livejournal.com]

THIS. This gets my vote, definitely.

[explodingfrogs.livejournal.com]

Recall that one of his and Nepeta's disagreements early in Alterniabound revolves around his unwillingness to ever, under any circumstances, let Nepeta FLARP, especially with Terezi or anyone she regularly plays with.

For context, some fanart of the chatlog in question:

[edenfalling]

The thing is, what Vriska did to Tavros and what she's going to do to Aradia fall into two different social categories, even though the one led to the other. Let me see if I can explain my thoughts coherently.

Vriska's attack on Aradia is part of a context -- a vengeance cycle -- that is socially acceptable and indeed looked on with approval. It's not breaking a norm; it's conforming to a norm. It would actually be odder for Vriska not to retaliate after Aradia sends ghosts to torment her. It's true that outright murder is a disproportionate response, but it's not an illegal one by any means, and in some ways being the person who decisively ends a vengeance cycle is a positive character trait. You are permanently removing a threat to yourself and any trolls in your quadrants who might get pulled in. Also, of course, Vriska is a blueblood and Aradia is a rustblood.

What Vriska did to Tavros does not fall into the same social context at all (beyond the basic highblood-to-lowblood power imbalance). First, it can be seen as part of an abusive romantic relationship -- whether she wanted him red or wanted him black, that was not a good way to make Tavros stronger OR to start a rivalry, because what she did was make him weaker and increase their power imbalance. Second, while Flarp clearly has the potential to be fatal, the way Terezi, Aradia, and Tavros approach their game session suggests that Team Charge and Team Scourge had played each other before and those were friendly games -- mutually agreed upon as non-fatal. For Vriska to break that tacit truce is a breach of trust. Third, Vriska didn't kill Tavros; she crippled him. Given the nature of troll society, that's actually crueler than outright murder, because he is now easy prey for his neighbors and will almost certainly be culled when their cohort comes of age and leaves Alternia.

The slow torture aspect and the breach of trust (as well as the betrayal of Terezi's trust) are the source of Davven's disgust. You'll notice that no one so far has had quite the same instinctive revulsion toward Aradia's impending death. They're upset, they're angry at Vriska, they think she's overreacting, but their reactions lean more toward, "We don't want our friend to die and also Vriska's a huge bitch," than toward, "That is sick and wrong."

In another line of argument, while Equius clearly dislikes Vriska and does his best to protect Nepeta from her, he does jack shit to protect anyone else on the planet -- because he does buy into the hemocaste system, and also into what seems to be a general extremist libertarian attitude among young trolls (I will do whatever I want, so will you, and if there's a conflict the stronger/smarter/faster/better troll gets his/her way, possibly at the expense of the other's life). I don't think he has any moral objection to her, or at least not one he can put into words. He just doesn't want his moirail to get hurt.

And while he has a flushcrush on Aradia, they're not formally in a quadrant. My take on traditional troll culture is that it's okay to intervene in certain situations when a quadrant-mate is in trouble, but intervening on a mere hatefriend's behalf is seen as odd. Our little circle of trolls is somewhat unusual in that most of them are willing to interfere with a vengeance cycle, though some of that is probably explained by their relative fondness for Aradia and dislike of Vriska (and also a sense that Vriska deserved vengeance for what she did to Tavros). Equius, however, being a stickler for tradition, would find it much harder to justify stepping between Vriska and Aradia though he might desperately want to. That would be further complicated by his submission kink and his feeling that his crush on Aradia is somehow dirty -- her death, though painful, would remove a source of temptation. Obviously he'd come to regret that, as he did in canon, but beforehand I think it's entirely possible he'd be rationalizing like mad to make himself remain on the sidelines.

If Nepeta gets purrsuasive, of course, all bets are off. (Unless he just digs in his heels even more.)